h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

do not worry too much about me, I am not a tenth as destructive as I used to be.

I am trying to go about some household stuff, but its so difficult to motivate myself and I keep crying.

I am happy to hear about your job though, that is great news, out of that hell-hole and into something with air-con hopefully!

I'll try not to worry too much. I am here if you need to vent or cry or anything. Advice I might not give, but listen I am glad to do!

Yes, aircon will be nice. And heat in wintertime. Isn't it funny the things most people take for granted, and when my staffing agent asked me what was most important in a temporary position, I told her "heating and airconditioning".

Hang in there, babes. You'll get through this dark time, and I'll be here to hold your hand if you need me to.

'Advice I might not give, but listen I am glad to do!'

I am not asking for advice, but I am puzzled at how you phrased the above?

I think it's because I was half asleep and lost my grip on the English language.

You've almost never asked me for advice. It's one of the things I love about you. Other people ask, but no one ever listens. You, however, will bare your soul, allowing me just to *listen*. And if I do offer feedback, you *listen* to that, too. There's a difference between listening to someone and offering, or taking, advice, and I appreciate the degree to which you realize that and put into practice. I value that aspect of our communiation very, very much.

I am half asleep now, so if I say something daft you know why!

I am feeling better today, I am bolshy and determind to keep going and not let the bombers get me down. When the anger and determination goes I maybe back to depressed, but I may not. Its keeping me going at present so if I get back to a routine, I am bound to feel better.

I spent the morning photographing cranes, I was so nervous, but it went fine and hopefully I will get some pictures on their website. It was a big thing for me though, to do that in front of strangers, I had to change my film with shaking hands!

You say I have never asked you for advice, but I think I have, when having trouble with his nibs for instance. I like to think that if you ever had some advice you would just share it, but I do find having someone to talk to very very helpful. You don't judge me, you understand that my issues and fears are not always logical. Its a great help.

I would to hear from you by email if better, about how you have dealt with problems with K, is he always open to listen? You seem to have a great relationship with him and you seem so strong now that I am sure I could learn from you. Anything at all, or if its too personal then don't worry! I have noticed your strength and confidence increasing though and its so good to see, I just want your secrets!!

Take care and have a lovely weekend if I don't speak to you before.

I'm glad you're feeling a little better. And that you were able to shoot those photos in front of everyone like that. The important thing to focus on is the photographing, not the people around. They're mostly just background anyway. Although I suppose, at some point, someone might approach you to ask about what you're doing- photography seems to be a fairly fascinating subject, especially to those of us who aren't much good at it in an artistic kind of way.

Perhaps it's my unwillingness to judge that makes me apprehanesive about giving advice. When I do, I usually regret having done. Especially if I'd had to say something that wasn't what the other person needed (or wanted) to hear. But, honesty is best, I think. A friendship can survive brutal honesty much better than well-intentioned deception, right?

Nothing is too personal. And I actually wouldn't mind talking about relationship stuff on *your* journal. The potential lurker(s) are less likely to read it here, and if they do, then they deserve it for being so nosy.

K and I do run into problems from time to time. Aside from the kind of problems most people have- money stuff, etc- we've also had to discuss the ways that some of our past experiences have influenced our way of thinking. We've both, luckily, made a conscious choice *not* to let the past dictate the present or the future. So when we find ourselves backsliding into negative thought patterns, we talk and talk and work our way through it. It is easier when you have someone listening and helping you.

And yes, that is what helps and is the most important thing- we listen! When I talk to K, even if I'm babbling or rambling about nonsense, he listens. Neither of us is big on small talk for the most part, so there usually isn't any of the kind of talk one instinctually filters out and then has to try to recall later to avoid upsetting the speaker. I'm not saying all of our conversations are profound and philosophical, just that we both manage to be interested in what the other person is saying. For example, K, as you know, is a really big music geek, more so than I. He is a veritable fountain of information and facts on a wide spectrum of music and artists. He can rattle off the tracks (in sequential order) from nearly any album he's ever heard. And give you the release date, technical info, and highlights of the liner notes.

And while he says most people pay only cursory attention to this, I actually listen with interest and express admiration for this talent. That's one example of why we get on so well and when we do have problems, are able to work through them successfully and with a minimum of fighting.

Don't get me wrong, though. We've only had three actual "fights", but they've been doozies!

I read this yonks ago but felt too low to reply for some time.

I am glad you can talk to K so very well. Thats is something we have recently improved on, the flat got too small to talk, so now we go out to talk. We sit in the park feeding the squirrels and can be so very honest with each other there. It seems we just needed some space to talk properly.

Magical things happen as well, like the fox which came and sat by us and the baby jay and things like that. It makes us feel we are on the right track.

Its seems we are both doing well with our men as present!

I'm glad to hear you and Moonglum are talking better/more. The ability and willingness to actually communicate- as opposed to the need to be "right"- is really important!

Of course, having an awesome guy who REALLY cares and REALLY loves you helps a lot, doesn't it?

hi Chickadee,

K finally had band practice with the Geezers after their poor guitarist's shoulder healed well enough. So, he brought home a copy of their CD from several years ago (there don't seem to be any copies left of their most recent CD) and that completes your parcel. So, hopefully this week or at the weekend, we should be able to post it. I'll drop you a message once we get it in the post so you'll know to watch out for it.

Have I mailed stuff to you before? I know I have an address somewhere but I don't know if it's complete.

Space you asked for, so space you will get. Sorry I won't be able to send you the book and the CDs, but you'll get by without them, I'm sure.

>Please also forget my address and new phone number, just pretend you never received<

Done, and done, at your request.

Unsubbing from each other's journals is probably a good idea. And there's no point in discussing it any further. But please don't expect me to continue to sugar-coat my postings and refrain from expressing myself within the House Rules should we run into each other on other threads somewhere.

Good luck to you in all of your future endeavors.

"But please don't expect me to continue to sugar-coat my postings and refrain from expressing myself within the House Rules should we run into each other on other threads somewhere."

If you do not intend to follow the house rules if you meet me in another convo, than I shall not refrain in yikesing you when you break the rules.

Thankyou for the threat.

Its one thing to avoid each other, another to know that you intend braking the house rules if we ever have the misfortune to meet up in another persons thread.

I imagine this is a threat to tell me to keep out of any of our mutual friends journals and convos. I never imagined it would come to this.

I shall let our mutual friends know that you have threatened me and intend breaking the house rules if you see my in another convo. That way they can make their own decisions on how to communicate with me, now that you have made it clear you will try to prevent communication, by braking the house rules.

You have become a nice person I see.

>Its one thing to avoid each other, another to know that you intend braking the house rules if we ever have the misfortune to meet up in another persons thread.

I imagine this is a threat to tell me to keep out of any of our mutual friends journals and convos. I never imagined it would come to this.

I shall let our mutual friends know that you have threatened me and intend breaking the house rules if you see my in another convo.<

Oh, once again you have taken what I said and twisted it to mean exactly the opposite. I said I will not refrain from posting within the House Rules. Meaning that I will adhere to the House Rules as I always have done, but please do not expect me to avoid saying anything you might disagree with just because you are also participating in a conversation I might want to be part of.

Why would I threaten you? Why would I want mutual friends to avoid talking with you? That's junior high bullshit, Kaz, I'm 33 years old. Do I have to leave this site for good to make you happy?

And if I should inadvertently break the House Rules, then it's your duty to yikes the posting. So, you needn't worry that I'll be starting any flame wars or pissing contests, either. Whenever possible, I will not address you directly at all. However you feel about me, I've no desire to get into fights, pick at you, or any of that stuff. As I say, we're a little too old for that kind of shit, aren't we?

>I imagine this is a threat to tell me to keep out of any of our mutual friends journals and convos. I never imagined it would come to this.<

I would never do such a thing. I understand that you imagine that was what I was saying, but it is not. Telling mutual friends that I threatened you would be a pretty mean thing to do, but if it makes you feel better to do so, I won't try to talk you out of it. Get me banned if it makes you feel better- it appears to me that you've wanted me off this site for some time now. Whatever. I've got plenty of other things to occupy my time.

There is nothing you can do to make me happy. We make our own happiness. We are not friends anymore, so can we stop communicating now please? I am quite happy to avoid you here, as some of the ways you have changed give me the creeps, I have explained this in an email.

As for the cds, I realised a long time ago I was never going to receive anything, not even a card from you. So I can't miss what I was never going to have. It was my own stupid fault for buying a $80 necklace for you, I shoudln't have done it. It was a pagan gift with pagan significance, if only I knew you were about to change so much, that the gift would be useless and I would never recognise you as my best friend again.

Stop threatening to leave, its boring, go on with your own life and stop feeling you need to be influenced by those around you. I have just lost my best friend, I saw it was ending some months ago, but today it finally happened for real. Just get on with your life and stop asking me if I want you to leave.

From this moment on, its nothing to do with me.