h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have noticed that you have changed a lot since I first knew you and we have a lot less in common now. Thats cool, we must all accept that times change and we move on. I know though that you always made an effort to reply to all my journals, I imagine that must be a strain sometimes now, as we have less and less in common. Just to let you know I don't expect that anymore.

I know I got miffed when I realised you deleted every journal of mine without replying, but that was just the initial shock. I have mulled and thought and talked to Moonglum, until I have realised we can't stay close friends when we have become so different.

I also have noticed that you are now good friends with people who previously attacked me, which I don't mind, but it helped me realise that we have grown apart, I am sure you must have noticed it too.

I know we will still have some journal chats and see each other in other convos, but don't feel you have to reply to everything I write now. With the amount you have changed, I know you must have found it difficult pretending to be so into my stuff now.

I am not bitter or twisted and I won't use this against you later. I have accepted our friendship has moved on, and I wish you all the best. See you around, just not in the same way anymore.

I'm sorry if you feel that I've not replied to all of your journals because I'm not interested in hearing what you have to say. Deleting journals of yours without replying was ONLY done if I didn't realize it was your journal... even if I can't reply, I stay subscribed to your journals if I know they're yours.

It's not that I'm not interested in reading and replying to everything- I just don't have the time I used to.

I'm not sure which people you're referring to, who have attacked you and with whom I have become "good friends". I'm acquainted with a few people here, not as many as I used to be with, but such is life. It's true that sometimes you find you have less time, and less stuff in common, and you move on. You are one of the people I have actually worked hard at maintaining the same level of friendship with, because I have always valued your friendship.

Anyway, if you feel that we can't remain close friends, then I will do you the courtesey of not butting into your journal entries about deeply personal stuff. Do you want me to unsub from your journal, or just post with discretion?

And the offer for the CD still stands, if you're interested. Otherwise, no biggity. I don't want to unload stuff on you if you're not interested!

I'll miss the friendship we had, and will never forget it. I'll see you around, then. Take care!

Forgot to say, I won't be asking for you to email me when you are on msn anymore. I started it up to keep in touch when you were thinking of leaving h2g2 back in Dec/Jan I think. I havn't had an email from you yet, so I think thats not going to happen and I will stop waiting for it. Afterall if we have less in common and less to talk about, why talk about it elsewhere as well!

Also, don't worry about sending me the cds or anything else by post. Its easier to drop these things, rather than keeping them going for so long.

Just thought I would include these logistics so you know where I feel we stand. Hope thats okay with you. Take care.

Simulpost!

No why ever would I want you to unsub from my journal?! I consider you a friend, for a year or so, I considered you my best friend. I hoped you would come and stay and that we would visit you etc etc, but it became obvious that level of friendship was gone. Many friendships change priority, its no biggy.

I just feel better being open with you, rather than keeping quiet and maybe you detecting some bitterness in me one day.

Accept and move on, thats what I am working on.

OK, I think I understand. I will keep you in my email contacts, because I like you and I might want to send a message sometimes, even if you don't want to write back.

I appreciate your openness and honesty, though, and am glad we can cope before it turns into a big misunderstanding!!

Oh poo, its all blown up a bit.

I got to know you a lot during the survivors group and that was when you were going through stuff, obviously believing things you were being told. Now you are your own woman and you have obviously developed your own views, without being influenced anymore - which is great.

I am happy that the OCD thing was just someones nasty assumption. It just came on the back of quite a few realisation like that, you suddenly seemed so very different. In hindsight though, it has been since last year when you threw off those assuptions and started to live your own life.

Stuff we had in common we don't have anymore, which is something to get used to. But I guess its time to get to know you again. It was a bit shocking, but ultimately I am very glad that you are living your life now the way you want to. Its funny to think that I was so caught up in the way you used to be, I still thought of you as having OCD and all that stuff.

Now there is a brand new spangly PC to get to know, one who is not dominated by others anymore, and that is great news.

And I hope that we can continue to be friends and I appreciate your being happy for me that I've thrown off some of that old dead weight. But you would never be dead weight to me, I have always loved you even if I don't always find the time to show it the way I want to or you need me to.

I'm sorry if we don't have some stuff in common that is so very important to you, but it is important to me that you realize and believe me when I say that those differences do not make me respect you any less or think you delusional or anything negative like that. Not at all!!

I am happy to get to know you again. Maybe because I am not good at friendships I focus too much on the wrong stuff, I would like to be better at keeping friends and not getting so paranoid, but I have to accept I will probably always be paranoid, which will always be difficult for my friends.

I can get paranoid too, which is why I don't always mind it that much when my friends get that way.

But because I like you not just because of things we share in common but because of who you *are*, it's not so hard for me to try not to focus too much on "wrong stuff". Anyway, even if it's difficult at times, I think you're worth the effort, you know!

Thank you!

Have to go now, but maybe we can continue this chat and find some different stuff in common later. We bought some punk cds a month ago, must dig them out and tell you what we got.

How do you deal with your paranoia? I could learn some tips!

I think we have a lot more in common than just achey backs and migraines! I'd love to continue this chat and talk about that stuff.

And I'd still be happy to send you CDs if you're interested. It'd be a pleasure. I'd also love to hear what kinds of CDs you guys got recently.

Thanks, too, for all of your input on my "DVD" thread. I like trying other people's recommendations. As far as music goes, as long as it isn't drum and bass/techno/house or that shoe-gazery "4AD" stuff, I like just about anything!

You go on ahead for now, and we'll talk more later. I'll be looking forward to it.

Oh, and I dunno how I deal with the occasional paranoia, other than to realize when I'm doing it, accept it when I'm called on it, and just try to adjust the reaction accordingly when I see the paranoid reactions occuring.

Thanks for liking me anyway, warts and all.

I have lost a lot of casual friends lately with the pagan stuff going wrong. I had one friend, the artist I mentioned, who is lovely but can be overbearing. I got scared of her and never wanted to see her again, so thats when I thought its okay I have h2g2, than I realised its all going wrong.

Anyway, she just rung and we are going to a woodland Thursday, for her to paint and me to take photos. Its great, I can pretend I never got paranoid. But I am so scared, I find friends so difficult and scary.

I think you know me best, which is why I am so grateful for any advice. I know I have to pull back and not be so stalkerish with you, and I will, I promise, I have to learn and I am lucky you have been so patient. But I don't feel at all normal, does everyone have problems like this with friends?

I have problems and get freaked out by friends, too. So many people have been so awful to me that I sometimes am utterly shocked that anyone would be interested in being my friend. If that makes any sense?

You've never come across as stalkerish to me, but if you feel like you are, then I'll try to help you. Somehow!

Thanks PC, I would welcome your help. Must go and make tea now, but would love to talk more tomorrow, I must conquer this and become stronger and happier like you have managed to.

BTW how sad is this, its about SUVs, I thought you would find it funny! F1974934?thread=656984

It's kinda funny, in a pathetic sort of way. ing yuppies!!

They keep changing don't they?

Hope you are okay with whats happening, you did your best.

Hi Kaz.

Yep, the times, they are a'changing! I hope Krispy is happy with himself, seeing how his "support' group has damaged more people than it has helped... people getting into one abusive relationship after another, people (like you) being made to dwell on bad stuff and told tht getting over it is someone unfair to everyone else who's had bad things happen. People (like me) being taken advantage of, helping other people financially to the tune of $1000 and then never an offer for repayment!! I can't believe that he's never even made an effort to pay me back, regardless of how the friendship ended. I surely don't owe him a living!!

And now this. Well, I did my best, and I can care till I'm blue in the face but I can't force someone to care about their own self. All I can do at this point is what's best for *my* emotional well-being, which is stop watching people I care for be mistreated and abused.

Thanks for sticking by me through all this last round of crap, and for always trusting me no matter how much it hurts to hear stuff sometimes. I can't help calling bullsh*t when a friend's peace of mind or well-being is at stake!

I'm okay with what's happening. I still have friends. I still have YOU. I still have a good life outside of h2. And I have K and Herman!!

You know the support group did help me, but it did implode painfully, luckily by then I was helped enough to deal with that. People want to control, both other people and situations.

To continually talk about a bad situation and then when people finally say, 'this is bad, you must stop it' to run away is very sad. I cannot watch anymore whilst an abuser is chosen over friendships.

As for him in the past, he treated you so very badly, but you will never get anything good from him. To get some of the money he owed you will involve contact, which will be bad for you. He may have won money-wise, but he has lost in every other way. I feel the time now is to leave the bitterness behind, you have a life, you are not a user, you have love, friends, you are strong enough to move on. He has none of that. I know you have to do things in your own time, but I hope its soon, talking of him brings you down, it must do surely.

Believe me I am happy to hear you talk of him and get him out of your system, but I look forward to seeing you move on. He was a slimey, nasty, uncaring, unconsiderate, user. Even your centipede must have been better company!

Now you have K and Herman and great friendships.

Its sad when it goes wrong, but I know how much you deserve to move on and forget certain people. Some people you can still be there for, even though they hurt, but you have to chose carefully.

I will continue enjoying watching your life, you have truely blossomed since I first talked to you. I am aware of how naff that sounds, but sod it, its true!!

I'm actually, I hope, a lot less bitter than I sound. It's hard to forget, when you're scraping for money for a couple of months, that someone has taken and taken from you, giving nothing in return and making no effort to repay you, because they think that the whole bloody world OWES them something. It's not so much bitterness toward the person- there's a lot of sad, pathetic users in this world- as the kind of kick-yourself-in-the-arse regret that comes with hindsight. But, as they say- live and learn!

So as much as I could use even some of that money back now, you're right, it certainly wouldn't be worth the contact, and being out some money is a small price to pay for freedom from abusive, manipulative users. Who serve meat to vegetarians!!

>To continually talk about a bad situation and then when people finally say, 'this is bad, you must stop it' to run away is very sad. I cannot watch anymore whilst an abuser is chosen over friendships.<

This is, unfortunately, where I am. I can't watch any more either. It's very saddening, because I'm afraid what will happen once the abusive one realizes he has succeeded in alientating her from her friends and resistance or escape would be, at this point, futile.

>I will continue enjoying watching your life, you have truely blossomed since I first talked to you. I am aware of how naff that sounds, but sod it, its true!!<

Me, too! You seem much stronger and more determined than when I first met you, although I suspect it was in there all along. I will continue to enjoy watching your life (wish I could be a more active participant, dammit!!) and watching you grow nearer and nearer achieving all of your hopes and dreams. We're on our way there, both of us, and off to a helluva good start. That's saying something!!