h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How dare you! I, personally, find myself violently opposed to the entire content of your intro! In it, you advocate worshipping the Purple Wom-Rat, among other similarly ugly-tasting things!

A few brief facts about the Purple Wom-Rat, in case people don't understand why it most definitely should not be worshipped:
1) It lives in swamps - not just any swamps, mind you, but only the most devastatingly and terrifically slimy swamps. And not only are these swamps slimy, but they are flavored in worst of taste - 100% artificial lime-green and copyrighted shades of pink. This in addition to the fact that they are inhabited by Wom-Rats.
2) The Wom-Rat is only the second most vicious small creature on the globe, although small is entirely a relative term. Let me just say, by way of warning, that if you ever encounter a hulking shadow about the size and shape of your television set, BE WARNED!
3) Wom-Rats of any shade are not at all nice to look at, and the purple ones are by far the worst. They are so ugly that no words can describe them, so I won't try. If you've ever seen a warthog with a hangover, Wom-Rats are worse.

Now, I understand that amateur world-traveler-safari-type-people like yourself can be excused for their limited knowledge on subjects such as these, but PLEASE, don't spread your ignorance in know-it-all fashion. Think of the children!

Aren't you going to write anything at all, Darling Child?

Or not so violently opposed. Maybe I'll try taking your advice...

*Swerve*
*Crash*

(messed up all my fancy dental work! )

Hmmmm....won't it be odd if you don't find this till after I'm gone...?
Hmmmm....won't it be odd if you don't find this at all...?