h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So, how are you coming along with the theremin? Here's a youtube featuring the theremin you might enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJYho56INKU

Aw thanks, HN!

Actually...I don't get on with it too well - it didn't function so well once Gateshead CID had taken it apart!

Oh, no! That's sad. Silly CID! Don't they know the theremin heralds not terrorists but invaders from outer space?

If it's a failure in the radio frequency oscillators, you might take it to an electronics repair shop. Maybe the CID didn't put it back together properly and it just needs a little adjustment. If the failure is with the circuit board or if a part is broken, maybe PAiA electronics can help, they still sell the theremin kits and likely have a replacement part. Here's a link to PAiA's repair and troubleshooting page:

http://www.paia.com/Articles/troubleshooting.htm

Good luck.

Wow! Thanks, HN! Perhaps I should sort it out...although I feel slightly safer leaving it in my desk! Once you've tried explaining to a CID officer why you've ordered a Marmite jar containing a circuit board to be sent to the BBC, the creation of oscillating sound loses some of its charm.

Well, it's perfectly obvious why you would need one at the BBC - for Dr. Who.

Exactly - it goes out live - have you noticed how I never do it quite the same each time?

Thanks Antelia, I have been in Hospital so could not use my Computer,
But now I hope to make up for lost time. Take care and keep well.
Regards T.


THE SCAN

Ah went ti oor local Hospital,
weer they telt me it widnie hurt.
“ Jist keep on yer troosers”
but get rid o’ the cardy an’ shirt”

So ah got stripped doon ti me waist line,
an’ that’s no sic a pretty sicht.
Then ah laid oan me back on a hard bench,
an’ over heed they switched oan a wee licht.

Some biddy then sketched a wee cross,
at the front weer me ribs meet at a joint.
An’ anither twa marks under me armpits,
so the bloke wi’ the laser kens weer ti point.

“You may feel a little prick!” warbled the Orderly
as he angled ti tattoe me chest.
That’s when ah leaped off the table top
cos ah hed oan ony a wee vest.

Well ah’m gan back ti Hospital on Monday,
an’ some say, “Yu just lay on a bed fifteen minutes”
Then yu’ll get up and sing like a bleed’n’ Suprano,
or a cage foo o’ de-nutted Linnets.

Thirty visits later I hope I am cured,
but later retained me original voice.
But ah’m no all that bothered ye ken,
cos ah kin aye use sign language wi’ oor Joyce.

But now they has changed the procedure,
an’ ah hev finished seven doses on the bed.
An’ me chest looks like a ripe orchard apple,
wi’ me back showin’ a wee patch o’ red.

After ah hed had so much treatment,
weer ah wuz poked, cut, en aw stiched up, en’ at!
Ah finally got ti go home,
weer ah promtply fell ower the bloody cat.

But the lass wi a needle is gey canny,
cos ah never gets ti feel the needle go in.
Then she turns wi’ a reet friendly smile,
an’ sez, “Keep off the Rum an’t neat Gin!”

“Doctor Jack is monertin’ me Warfrin,
and it’s a good job somebody cares,
Cos ah feel like a ruddy pin cushion,
but ah feel better each day I declares.

Well, ah meen! :0) Tom Barker.

Aw! Delighted to see you back, Tom, and rhyming so beautifully! We all wish you a speedy recovery!