h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Screaming Lord Sutch was a failed rebel : both in the musical and political scene. Nothing but a joke.

If I took politics on board as a serious type activity, there would be a heck of a lot of myself that I would have to change. It's too much work for something that I couldn't really be bothered to do. You have to pander to the people, otherwise they won't vote for you, and you can hardly walk into the House of Commons, wearing baggy jeans and pink hair...

I would rather move abroad, sleep in the sun, drink in the evenings and not bother anyone.

"If I took politics on board as a serious type activity, there would be a heck of a lot of myself that I would have to change."

Not true. See below.

"It's too much work for something that I couldn't really be bothered to do."

Ah. Apathy. Now you're talking. And disqualifying yourself from complaining, of course, but you pays your money and you takes your choice...

"You have to pander to the people, otherwise they won't vote for you,"

But my point here is that you DON'T have to pander to people to get them to vote for you. My Bod, thousands upon thousands of people had been royally shafted by the Tories for 13 years leading up to 1992, and yet despite the pain, despite having their businesses fail and their houses repossessed in record numbers, like moronic sheep they dutifully ticked the box marked "Hurt me some more, Tory Boy", presumably thinking that surely the Conservatives couldn't get *much* worse. And they were proven wrong within six months as Mr. Badger spunked away about six billion quid in a single day trying to keep us in the ERM.

And even AFTER that, and AFTER Jeffrey Archer, and Jonathan Aitken, Neil Hamilton, and David Mellor, and Tim Yeo, and Cecil Parkinson and all the rest, STILL people voted for that party.

What makes you think you have to pander to the people, when the Tories comprehensively said "f**k you" to the people for so long and yet remain the second largest party in the Commons?

"and you can hardly walk into the House of Commons, wearing baggy jeans and pink hair..."

You should see some of the outfits Bernie Grant has turned up in. Plus Nothing you turned up would look as ridiculous as what the Queen has to wear to read her speech...

I'm not suggesting you actually aim to get into power. I'm too cynical to believe that's possible.

I am suggesting that you (and I) have the power, if we can be bothered, to give our fellow citizens an opportunity to say "you, the normal parties, suck, so I'm not voting for any of you, and I'm NOT spoiling my ballot, I'm voting Saturnine, because she *doesn't* care, and you bunch of useless politician types need a wakeup call".

Like I say, the worst that can happen is more people protest than you anticipate, in which case you could always resign...

H.

Well. That's English people for you. There is a quote somewhere that says "England would be the only place Communism would work. Look at their queues." Or something like that.

Ok. So I'll think about it. Maybe. I have had people telling me I should be a politician since I was about 5 years old, so it's not a new concept.

Moving swiftly on, I have a question to ask of you. What's with the "My Bod" expression? Is this an active aversion to Judeo-Christian society? Or a dodgy typo?

Well, you've seen how I react to Justin, so what do *you* think?

(hint: it's not a typo)

Besides, I like the idea of swearing by a slanty eyed bald kneeless boy in a dress. Makes at least as much sense as swearing by a big bearded bloke in the sky, or whatever.

I have been told I was being presumptuous, using my physique as a substitute for "God". Needless to say the person making that observation was a Yank (although claiming to be British, among many other things ), and equally needless to say had never seen what I could only laughingly refer to as my "physique".

H.

Well, you see, I only ask because since your dramatic return to the site (), I was thinking of giving you a few links to follow to some Satanist sites. I recently got around to joining a messageboard (OK, in the last few months), and I reckon you would enjoy the conversation, the company and the suchlike. Seems as if it might not be your thing though in retrospect. So don't worry.

Oh no, do tell, I'm always up for new experiences...

(dramatic?)

H.

I would just recommend www.churchofsatan.com to you. I shouldn't be out recruiting like this (not that I am even a member) but it struck me the other day that you might like some of the essays on the site, and one of the messageboards they link to if you become interested. Word of warning though : they do *not* tolerate fools gladly. So if you are genuinely interested, don't go in and f**k about. Given the chance, it is a bloody invaluable resource.

Just a thought.

It may have escaped your notice, but I'm not reknowned for my fool-tolerating abilities myself...

H.

Exactly why I think you should take a look at the whole Satanist thing...you certainly seem to meet the standards. Just go look, and be open minded. Will be good for the digestion.

Reading the Nine Sins, it certainly strikes a chord. Very interesting indeed. Thanks!

H.

Views from Kerr-nowa...

Ah, the joy of being in the same voting area as our 'white urban ghetto' (Ill have to tell my mates who live there )

My views of Bristol?

The Lib Dems are very active in my area, we get their newsletter repeatedly, and the Labour one, but nowt from the Cons until election time. Oh well. The Labour council are crap. And liars. A recent example was when a Government audit hugely criticised the council, and yet in their newsletter they reported the audit as a huge success!!!

As for going against the people, I think Labour are the masters of hypocricy(sic). Elected on a line of 'Whiter than white' and 'Tory Sleaze', it soon became apparent that where with the Cons you could buy individual ministers, with Labour you could buy the whole party with a healthy donation to ensure you got your way...

Basically they're all as bad as each other... There are people who will always vote Con artist, there are people who will always vote Laborious, however crap a job they are both making of running the country.

I have no respect for politics/icians, I have no doubt there's good people out there, but Im not the first to say that 'Scum rises to the top'.




(So Sat, you've had the 'You should be a politician' thing from an early age too?)

Yes. Comes with having a big mouth and reading books. I think we both have better things to do somehow. Although if I was American, it would be quite nice to be President. Then I could take over the world...woaahahhahah...

Bob, I put to you more or less the same thing I put to Sat - you're complaining, but what are you DOING about it? Anything? Anything *positive*? And if you're not, don't you think you're getting the government you deserve? And come to that, aren't we all?

H.

Oi! Some of those politicians are reading this.

Ah. But the question we must ask is : what would we do without incompetent people. We would have no one to complain about, we wouldn't take an interest in city life, everything would be perfect...and boring. Incompetence keeps things interesting.

What am I doing? Absolutely nothing...

Even if I did want to go that way, I have major problems with each of the majoy parties, and who ever heard of an independant who changed anything...

But you know why I could never be a politician. I wouldnt want to risk the fact that at some point in the future I could sell out. I guess nearly everyone got into politics with ideals...

"who ever heard of an independant who changed anything..."

Two words: Martin Bell.

H.

Oh yeah, and two other words, for those on the other side of the pond: Ralph Nader.

That guy singlehandedly put George W. Bush in the White House. I'd say that's changing things.

H.

One word : Ghandi

Or Three : Martin Luther-King

Or One and a Letter : Malcolm X

Orrrr...

OK. Saying one person can't change anything is BS. Even David Icke has a following.

I, simply, have better things to do.