h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ooh.

I fancy Will Self.

Ooh.

Would you like a minute alone?

No, it's OK. I've finished now.

Who's Will Self?

See, now it was only a few weeks ago that I was asking that very same question myself. Apparently, he is a writer (have yet to find him in the library). But he has also starred in some of this years episodes of the random BBC comedy quizshow *Shooting Stars*...

*rubs thighs*

"Rubs thighs," eh? Is that what they're calling it these days...

You would have to see the programme to understand the reference.

*decidingly tasty*

Say...you don't happen to use AOL Instant Messager, do you?

Being hacked into the site via primitive and dodgy methods that don't involve full net access, that would be a NO. However, one day, I may be able to say YES to that question.

Who knows...

"Primitive and dodgy methods"? Sounds...fascinating.

In any case, if you ever get IM, then please look me up. I'm always looking for people to talk to.

Don't worry. You are on my ever-growing list of people for IM-ing. Many many people are.

However, first, I have to beat my procrastinating disease. Lot's of hard discipline must be undertaken. Hence why I am re-writing two short stories as we speak. Good concepts. Boring as f**k.

The hacking thing isn't as good as it sounds. Leave it at that.

Couldn't be any more boring than doing 8 hours of AutoCAD drafting. Doing a drawing or two here and there isn't bad, but doing it all the time, day in and day out....this isn't what I signed up for.

Try being 18, and forcing yourself to work on something that has been in existence and many forms for 3 years. I *hate* writing right now. I can't deal with sitting at the WP, but handwriting gives me cramp. I'm procrastinating at every available moment because I can't come up with anything new until the book is finished, I am sick to the stomach with the b*****d thing. Short stories are a pain in the ass, and poetry isn't good for making money.

And then we haven't even got to the whole what-the-f**k-am-I-going-to-fill-the-middle-with? frustration...

*rant rant rant*

I *had* to choose the most difficult career in the world. Why can't I just go and test yachts or something...

Yes, being 18 is difficult. At least, I remember it being so. But not so difficult as being 14. And certainly, being 23 is less difficult than being 18.

David Eddings, a famous writer, was once asked what advice he would give aspiring writers. He said, "Go into something easier. Like rocket science."

I'm considering neurology or cardiology now. It's a stupidly pedantic, long suffering, pretentious, pain in the ass career, and I am not even off the starting blocks right now.

I need to go and axe something

Stupid. BAH!

The real money is in veterinary medicine, or dentistry. Any other medical profession isn't worth the trouble, unless you actually want to do it (and it sounds like you don't).

My scientific knowledge just extends to knowing all the stuff that won't get me anywhere!

Ah, sounds like a candidate for marine biology! I know several unemployed marine biology graduates and PhDs.

Considering I have just had a positive response to my first four chapters and a demand for more previews from one researcher on here...methinks I shall stick with writing...

Works for me. I wish I had the motivation to write a book.