This is the Message Centre for Saturnine

Hello

Post 1

Ddychweledig - pining for the Fjords

(I cant think of an interesting subject title smiley - tongueout)
Um,.....something is compelling me to @ least post to you, therefore I am doing so..Hi smiley - diva

I had been lurking in the "Well, maybe Paul.." thread that includes Justin the Preacher, who i gather you are now conversing with smiley - winkeye...I also started my own thread with him, which you went and kindly gatecrashed smiley - silly...

*decides that next time she is assertive and posts to a page she should have something in mind to say...*

Ok...Well....you seemed nice, you're a satanist and I found the newly installed coffee machines in hell thing amusing smiley - tongueout

xxxsmiley - vampirexxx


Hello

Post 2

Saturnine

Hello!

I actually thought you were male! Now I feel better about gatecrashing the conversation. Hope you didn't take any of what he said to heart! Although I did like your observation about the pilgrimage thingy...about how the euphoria is man made, not God made...

I am a very nice person smiley - smiley thankyou!

smiley - spork !


Hello

Post 3

Ddychweledig - pining for the Fjords

smiley - laugh, no problem smiley - smiley
No, ...he's just like someone in love...he's not trying to be arrogant or offensive, so *shrug*...I wasnt quite sure why he immediately assumed I was RC though...

Im sure you are, thats why I said it smiley - tongueout

xxsmiley - vampirexx


Hello

Post 4

Saturnine

Well he thought I was siding with the Catholics too...so that demonstrates his stupidity.

But it's fair game *swings an elephant gun over her shoulder*...

smiley - laugh


Hello

Post 5

Ddychweledig - pining for the Fjords

smiley - laugh, yes....for a religion/life style that seems to be based on so much love and acceptance,and he seeming (or believing) to be the personifcation of ~TRUE~ christianity, he's remarkably judgemental and catagorical with people...*shrug*

Anyway.
How are you?

xxsmiley - vampirexx


Hello

Post 6

Saturnine

I just read your personal space. How do you do all that? I mean, how do you go to the doctors and get help for depression? Sorry if it sounds retarded, but I have no clue how it all works...

I'm otherwise fine. Yourself?

smiley - spork


Hello

Post 7

Ddychweledig - pining for the Fjords

Well.....the way everything happened with me about 5 years ago (im 18 now)....hmm..*thinks*, if you go and tell them exactly what your problems are - unable to cope, feeling shakey a lot, bad headaches, inability to handle situations an increasing amount, having no motivation,low concentration, suicidle....Whatever your particular symptoms are, they will either just tell you to try and take things easy, prescribe medication and/or recommend a psychiatric refferal.

smiley - smiley @ the moment I'm a littttle further down the line from depression, I have already been sent into the looney bin once this year.

smiley - hug....If you want to talk about anything...I'd be willing to listen..

xxsmiley - vampirexx


Hello

Post 8

Saturnine

I'm down there with you. Just no one notices.

I can't cope with going to see the doctor...I tried, but she treated it like it was teen angst. I thought, whats the point, and didn't go back. I can't deal with any of it. I just want to sit in a chair and watch TV for the rest of my life. Or f*ck off and die. Either way.


Anyway, less of that. I've had this since I was seven, I'm used to it. Eventually someone will see me, I hope anyway. You sound lucky...like you have people looking out for you...

Don't like talking about it on here too much. Too public. Don't want people to tie it up with other parts of me.

Cheers anyway. I'll probably just write them all into a list and throw them at the doctor or something. I think I might wait until I move and change surgeries. Start anew.

smiley - spork


Hello

Post 9

Ddychweledig - pining for the Fjords

@ the moment I am on a high dosage of anti depressants, a mood stabilizer and a tablet to prevent "psychotic episodes". Yes, i am lucky for the people who look after me. I cant cope without them. smiley - laugh thats implying i cope anyway.

If you want to email me, you can ([email protected])....

The mental health sector of the NHS gives help which is perhaps @ times worse than the 'illness' itself.

Im not going to try and shove optimism down your throat, life is Pathetic. Every day will only grind you down more, rock bottom doesnt exsist, you will slide further and further until by some blessing you die.
Some people see and hear things others dont and are allowed into different metephorical corridors that they arent meant to. The things I see and hear are real, other people cant feel them because they havent got the same key as me.

However, please dont die by your own hand.

(hmm, now you either hate me or think Im annoying)

xxsmiley - vampirexx


Hello

Post 10

Stealth "Jack" Azathoth



I've been bouncing around from suicidal to just sullen for last 14years [I'm 20]and know the 'just sit in front of the TV until I die' feeling... And like you I don't try not to talk about it...

I left it until it was too late before seeking help from a doctor... I'm not ordering you get up and do it, or pretending it will solve things for you... but frankly it really is the sooner the better... even if you do think your Dr. is a slime or whatever... also if you have some idea as to a medical name for your woes t's a good idea to do some checking online or at a library...

Sorry if I was out of order...


Hello

Post 11

Saturnine

Not out of order at all! Carry on...

Instincts being instincts, I think I shall answer this properly later...

smiley - spork


Hello

Post 12

Ddychweledig - pining for the Fjords

Regardless of what anyone says; it is ultimately your choice. The teachings of LaVey, amongst others of Satanical influences, say that you have to take responsibility for your actions and that your life is in Your hands.
If things are unbearable as they are then....perhaps doctors are the way to go. if I could zoom back to when I was ushered towards psychiatric help when I was 13/14, I'd like to think I would of said No.
However, ...being able to put a firm, diagnosed name to what your feeling does help to ease Something (!), even if its just knowing that other people feel like you do and its NOT you being weak.

Im sorry, I will leave you both alone now,

Ddychweledig
xxsmiley - vampirexx


Hello

Post 13

Saturnine

But I know all that. None of it helps really...oh. Don't worry about it! I'll be fine! smiley - smiley


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