h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Don't forget the importance of prioritising your working day and allowing at least a few brief moments to post on h2g2 so that your friends don't start to worry about you.

Ideally these few brief moments should be either before or after you lock yourself in the stationery cupboard.

If you're lucky, you might catch me in between my dizzy spells and me hiding under the desk.

Hi 6, Its okay, I'm still alive

Looking at some of the code I wrote just before the break, trying desperatly to remmember what the hell I was thinking when I wrote it!

The stationary cupboard is looking more & more inviting....

StationARy - not moving as in the cAR was StationARy.

StationERy - writing material etc. such as papER

Although obviously a Stationery cupboard would be very unusual if it wasn't also a stationary cupboard.



That should ensure tou don't send me any more messages when I'm hiding under my desk

Going to read my C.V. now so that I know what it is I'm supposed to have done. I'll be under my desk if you need a to make up for me being horrid to you.

And of course any spelling errors in my message were deliberate in order that you didn't feel quite so bad

< Accepts sub-desk >

Wasn't it *you* that told *me* that spelling wasn't important?

Anyway, the cupboard *is* stationary. Its a stationary stationery cupboard.

< Goes off to hide under desk, first day back, can't remmember what *any* of this code I wrote is supposed to do, and now 6 is having a go at me over my rubbish spelling :o( >

I'd just lurve to read your C.V ...

Oop, :o( > == Dougal 'Goatee' smiley. 'sposed to be

Why?

Sulking cos you had a go at my spelling. Trying to gain sympathy & more s

Or is that 'Why would I lurve to read your C.V ?'

- Jus' nosey

Perhaps I'll just post it to h2g2 and someone will take pity on me.

Shall I use the short one page version or the fullblown - rather exaggerated four page version?

After I've listed the three secondary schools and five colleges I've been to I've covered three pages. That's before I start on all the jobs I've done.

In fact the only short bit is 'Hobbies and Interests' which simply reads "Too busy".

I know why you're sulking I'm taking no notice. You know I'll give you a anyway.

Okay, here goes. The layout isn't quite like this cos it's all in excel. First of all you get all the personal details stuff like my address etc.

Then the main body of the C.V. is a little like this (with some details changed to *protect my identity*)

Summary of qualifications
O level Maths (B), English (C) Geography (C) Physics (C) Economics (B)BTEC ONC in Business and Public Administration
A level Accounts (B)
RSA IBT Computer Literacy (CLAIT) Stages 1 & 2
NVQ Retailing Level 1 and 2

Work Experience
1997 - present
That place where I work, North Road, Brighton,
Part time Customer Advisor
Duties mainly include dealing with telephone enquiries
I have completed courses with the Post Office Training and Development group in Sales & Customer Services and Advanced Customer Services

2000 - present
A**a Stores Ltd, Brighton Marina Village, Brighton, BN2 5UT
Part time Pharmacy Assistant (12.5 hours per week)
Duties include dealing with prescriptions, sale of medicines and other general duties. I have recently completed a First Aid at Work course with Asda

1994 - 1997
Boots the Chemist Ltd, 119-120 London Road, Brighton, BN1 4JH
Full time pharmacy assistant
Duties include general pharmacy duties such as dispensing, stock ordering and co-ordinating training for other staff members. I have also completed Healthcare and Pharmacy Assistant courses with Boots.

Interests and activities
I am currently studying towards an Open University degree in Maths and Statistics. I am presently in the third year of my studies having already obtained 180 points towards the 360 that are required. The courses I have done so far are mainly statistical courses with emphasis on practical uses of statistics and use of computer packages such as SSC

Then two referees. Both are my current managers.

Is that enough for you or do you want the full version?

Very good, much more impressive than mine (Not hard to do )

Think you should have more emoticons...

eg:

"I have recently completed a First Aid at Work course with Asda "


"Summary of qualifications "

Please give me a job

etc...

They don't appear to work in excel....

Couldn't you just make up your CV on h2g2 in guideML, smileys and all, then just point your potential employers to the web page

This way, it filters out any employers that dont have a net link

How do I filter out all the loonies that just want to read my c.v. because they're nosey?

Thats a bit more difficult

Actually, I posted my crappy CV on the swamp for the job I got at the moment, not because the CV was anything to be proud of, just to prove I could write a bit of HTML.

Not really relevant, just thought I'd throw it in...

You'll have to send me the link so I can be nosey too.

Seriously though, it sounds like a good idea putting it on the web but I'm concerned about the security aspect especially when anyone could access it when they searched on say for example Boots. What if that person had an evil vendetta against that company and then had my phone number, address, e-mail etc.?

Not there any more. I have destroyed the evidence! ha hah hah

What *I* did was put the CV on its own page, with no links to it so you could only get to it if you either a) Were given the link, or b) Had a stupidly lucky guess

Think of the piccy I took of Eric / Ruby & sent you the link to. No one else will see it unless you actually give them a link to it, or *guess* the url! It wont come up on a search engine without you actually specifying the content in the page header. < he *thinks* >

I admit to not liking having my name / address displayed on a web page, but if someone wants to find it that bad, they will anyway...

Of course, you could just leave off your address & phone number.

An email address should be enough these days...

You could always put my c.v on your website then.....