h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Wall flower girl, it's really worried me seeing you so angry in the questions only thread. I notice you've gone offline, but please when you come back tell me what's wrong. One of the nice things about H2G2 is that you can always find someone to talk to. If you want to rant about anything, you can let off steam to me, either here or come over to my space. If someone on H2G2 has upset you, you can "yikes" their posting by clicking on the screaming face at the bottom right of the posting. Then the moderators will investigate. Please forgive me if you know all this, I'm just trying to help.
Hope to see you later,
Candi

why thanks candi!

i was real angry/sad about a thread which orcus started for a couple in england (some famous people) who just had a premature baby, who died. well it seemed like a sweet thing and that happens a lot, and to have condolences was really nice. only then along came jerk number one, who's all "why are you not talking about all the people dying in afghanistan," and admitted he was insensitive, but just kept on and on while other people were really bravely saying things about themselves . then he sorta went away, because someone made a different thread to discuss the politics of compassion (fer crying out loud! ) and then jerk number two came along and alls i can figure with him is he's sick and a burden to his family, so he's all hate and venom. he actually came out and said "it's not that much of a tragedy, when these premature babies are invariably going to be all brain-damaged and defective, and after their parents valiantly and pointlessly care for them, they'll invariably die young". i complained about it, but they didn't uphold the complaint.

a guy called quincy called him on that "invariably" garbage, and he just started flaming. this guy quincy's been a coroner you'd think he'd know. jerk number two and sidekick just started flaming quincy, and mistdancer who'd been trying to get people to leave the thread alone in peace, and i got real mad about that. then jerk number one came back and was really disrespectful about another woman here, who i think is awesome and very, very strong.

i was so mad i came and made the gateway and the memorial garden for lost children. but i was just looking at them and the garden looks a lot better in alabaster is there any way i can fix it so it shows up that way? the format doesn't have the bars across it, so it's a lot prettier. i really would like if the garden wasn't anything you could get to, unless you know the secret of clicking the green dragon, to keep the trolls out. that's all they were was trolls, poking sharp sticks in people because they were already wounded. that's sh--ty and i am no good at all at standing up for me, but i am ok at standing up for other people, especially women, especially against pompous know-it-all jerks!

you asked i really don't like to be angry. i'm not good at it.

wfg

First of all, wfg, thank you for replying to my posting.

This is very strange - the subject of premature babies is very close to my heart as I used to be a nurse in a special care baby unit (in Birmingham, England). I loved looking after those babies - it was the most rewarding job I could imagine, although it was terribly difficult, almost heartbreaking, when the babies were ill or when they died. A big part of the job was supporting the parents through all this, so when I heard about Gordon Brown and his wife losing their baby I felt for them, regardless of whatever else may be happening in the world. Pain is pain.
Although I can see that there may be issues some people may want to debate about special care of premature babies (eg, justifying cost and weighing up whether or not to treat babies whose prospects of having any kind of meaningful existence are extremely low - and these are NOT the majority), it seems to me to be obvious that to do this in such a thread is not only pointless but downright nasty. I can understand and sympathise with your anger. Why couldn't they just start a separate thread with a link to the other one without posting to the condolence thread at all, that way everyone could have their say peacefully.
I am relieved to hear that you did not have to fight them alone, and sincerely hope that this has not put you off H2G2.
I think your garden for lost children is wonderful. What a positive thing to come out of such negativity and nastiness on the part of others. You are clearly a very strong minded, passionate and caring person. I am so glad you came to H2G2, we welcome people like you around here.

As for technicalities, I'm afraid I can't help you with that as I'm no expert in guide ML, but I'll look around and find someone who I think will be sympathetic who will be able to advise. I know there is a way to display a page in Alabaster, but I imagine there is probably no way of preventing access to the garden. I don't really think anyone would actually come and sabotage it though. That is a step further than flaming in a conversation. If/when I find someone who may be able to help, I'll put their link in this thread, assuming you haven't already solved the problem by then.

See you again soon I hope,
Candi

Just had a look at the Guru's home page and noticed Mistdancer is one, so perhaps this is the person to help you with your garden. the link to her page is:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/U172011

hope she can help you,
Candi.

Hi again wfg, you mentioned talking about special care on the questions only page and I thought it was better to talk about it here. If you prefer, we can do it by email. Let me know. Anyway, my email address is [email protected] if that's your choice.

Hello wallflower girl. I'm Ellen. I happened to read some of the thread you are describing, the one that was supposed to be for condolences. I was likewise dismayed to read some of the hurtful comments there. That was certainly not the place to be expressing anything but sympathy for the family. The issue was personal for me, not because I have lost a child, but because I was a premature baby. I weighed 2 pounds and 12 ounces, back in 1965 when it was really rare for babies so small to survive. The doctors didn't really think I would survive, and they thought that if I did I would be handicapped, but I fooled them all. One of my feet is smaller than the other, but most people don't notice, and that is the only holdover from my birth. I walked fine, and I went on to become Valedictorian of my high school class. I think your Garden is a very nice idea. I would have posted there, but I sort of felt that it should be reserved for people who have lost children. I'm amazed, by the way, that you've got the hang of GuideML in such a short time. It took a long while for me to get up the nerve to add an illustration to my page. Stop by and visit sometime. JEllenJ42

i think so. it's mean and thoughtless and cold. i can't stand that stuff. quincy was nice to people there. i was so mad too about what looneytunes said about the preemies being "inevitably" doomed so their parents' love and care was "pointless". but i'm not good at saying when i'm angry. i just hold it inside and try to make something nice, so i came here and made the garden.

you can post in the garden. anyone can, if they've got a thought or a poem or want to remember someone, or just want to say "this is a nice place", as long as it's friendly. they don't have to have lost a child.

two pounds is a little baby! in the 1960s that's about as little as they got and survived! i read somewhere they're now saving 5 month fetuses but they are so far from being all made yet, the incubator-time isn't just for growing bigger, but for getting fingernails and finishing making their lungs and that's really, really iffy for the baby. those i think maybe it is playing god a bit to intervene because they need huge amounts of medical intervention and are so high-risk. i mean mid-second trimester that's just a few ounces worth of baby. by seventh month alls the baby has left to do is grow bigger.

i don't know. bio-medical ethics is fascinating, but it leaves me with more questions than answers.


wfg

When I last worked in a special care baby unit, the youngest we had saved (this was in 1995-96) was 24 weeks gestation, and even then the lungs are not really ready to breathe air. With technology advancing so quickly, I am not surprised that 21 week babies are being saved now.
I read the condolence thread, and I am quite shocked to see that Quincy has been threatened with a lifetime ban. He/she was repeatedly taunted by those other two, went a bit over the top with an angry posting, then apologised straight away! Quite understandable in the circumstances. Apparently there's some concern that it might be someone who was banned before under a previous identity. I don't know about that, haven't been here long enough.

I left a in your garden, wfg, for a little boy I looked after at the unit.

Candi.

thanks candi, both for the for the little boy, and also for saying what you did about quincy's posting. i agree. i was very upset by what looneytunes said. that's why i spent all night up making the gardens. like there was such a thing as "pointless" life! i can see too if quincy's feeling not well cause he worked in the coroner's office in new york city why he'd maybe have had his buttons pushed! that's kind of obvious. there was so much pointless death there last fall. my gosh!

please at least defend his so called "flame-war", because i think it's not fair to call it that. people have said nastier things in that same thread than he did, and look at the stuff people are saying about lekz. somewhere there's a human out there who has to read that and know that people here hate her so much that any resemblance to her, however small, can get people banned from this site for life. well i'm not political. i hate politics! but i'm keeping my screenname this way for the moment.



wfg

Hello everyone

Sorry I didn't catch this earlier, but RL is a tad hectic right now. I have my stepkids staying with us, so you can imagine the "fun" with 4 kids, me and hubby in a 3 bedroomed house

Anyway. The best bet for displaying the garden in alabaster is to put a link on the page for people to click. Something like this...

Alabaster

but put the A number of the garden where my U number is. Then surround it with text...

This page looks best in Alabaster

Then people can choose the skin they want to use for the page.

I have this link on my space if you want to see how it works!



BTW, if you want to see the GuideML for anything here, just alter the URL in the address bar. For personal spaces, replace the U with TestUserPage

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/TestUserPage172011

shows the ML for my space.

To see it for entries, replace the A with test.

Hope this helps

thanks a whole lot mistdancer! congratulations! happy engagement!


wfg

Thanks!! There's a sort of unofficial journal party thingy on my space....all are welcome!

The test thing is very it's how I first learnt the basics of ML. If you want to use anything on my spaces, feel free. There's more if you click where it says HERE on my homespace, and lots of linky bits if you click on the just under the Lurker badge at the bottom!!

I will be visiting the garden again as soon as I have a free moment. It isn't something I want to rush. You know that if anyone posts anything inappropriate or flamy, you can click the and ask for it to be removed. It's a last resort though, use if reasoning/asking nicely/being polite doesn't work.