h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Put three of these under your tongue and don't call me in the morning... I don't usually awaken 'til the crack of noon.

-> click <-

Ooof! That's better. It's all dark again. I thought for a moment that the great green arkleseizure was on it's way. All these enlightened beings wandering around llike so many celestial gloworms. How dreadfull!

I hope that's not a football I see, I hate football.

What are the pills? Are they going to make me feel better? Are they going to lighten the terrible load that I bear. I do hope not. I think I'll just leave them there if you don't mind.

What brings you to the basement then? Getting bored of interesting people are we? ... it was supposed to be sarcastic. Never mind.

Not at all Darlink...I LOVE depressed people! Pays the bills you know...being a shrink is a loverly way to earn a living.

I like the dark. Can't sleep without it. I 'specially like being in the woods in the dark. So, naturally, I was just drawn to you.

You don't *mind*...do you?

...oh, an' I HATE football...I jusss like to spin a ball on my finger.

Oh dear, a fan. A fan who likes shrinking things. How depressing.

You like sleep. There was a great advert which went "Are you putting your children to bed, or are you laying them to rest". All about smoke alarms you know. Of course they stopped it No style some people.

As for spinning balls! makes my eyes water!!

Well...*I* wouldn't want to make you ...it would most certainly lighten up your face. And we don't want THAT to happen! ...*begins to spin in her gauze skirt...hair flying...*

Smoke alarms??

OH!!! You mean the dinner bell! Quiet funny, that. Put your children to rest. I for one was warned on MANY occasions that I would be *ahem* put to rest should my behavior not change. 'Twas all a bluff. They'er gone, but I remain.


Where ARE the other Horsemen?...*looks about...*
Do you know *my* story? The one about Pandora? You know... the very last thingie I let from The Box was *hope*. Pretty cool, huh? ==~~

My face?? I don't have a face! or at least I don't think so. I never checked. There's not much point really. By the time I get anywhere, everything has been reduced to dust. such a messy bunch.

Oh yes, quite the creator my dear Pandora. Maybe you don't realise by how much. You see, you created Pestilence, although he strenuously denies it. He was originally a short order Chef for the great being. Not a very good one by all accounts. When you let the cat out of the bag (so to speak) his "food" became weapons grade and he went for a career move.

The hope you let out was really the hope that we could find a short order chef who could cook without racking up a massive body count. I'm feeling a bit peckish, not that food does me any good.

I'm trying to avoid the others at the moment. They sort of cramp my style, if you know what I mean.

I must say, with your long locks of hair and your flouncy skirt, you would make a great roundabout. Do I mean roundabout? I don't suppose you really care. It's all so pointless.

Oh *I* make a WONDERFUL runabout!! And you're right, I don't care. I'm just here to be ornamential anyway.
...don't hate me because I'm beautiful. I'm sure with YOUR skills, you can easily find other reasons.

Mind if I smoke? ==~~ Sorry 'bout that!...*quickly puts the match out...* Now, if you are ever interested in LIGHT...
I have a bit of an "in" with Zeus.

Isn't my spinning making you dizzy? I'm having a ball, you know!
...WWWWWEEEEEE-eeeeeeee...ever have a really good spin?