h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Last night I dreamt that I was back at University, staying in halls.

My zither was in the corner, and I was telling my room-mate all about my new hurdy-gurdy that is currently sat in customs at Coventry (all of which is currently true, ).

However, when the alarm went off and I went to get breakfast for us, I passed a trolley full of hammered dulcimers that was being unloaded. I stayed and watched and felt all sad that I no longer had mine.

When I went back to the room it then struck me that I hadn't even brought my clarinets along to uni with me.

In summary, I think I should get my clarinets out more and I miss my hammered dulcimer.

On the other hand, since when did I share a room, live in catered halls, or have a gong covered in Cuneiform writing in there?

You've bought a hurdy gurdy!?

I was worried it was a euphemism

No silly, it's probably the most underrated musical instrument

No, I really, really have! It arrived today.

It's very cheap (large sections of it are made of plywood) so it's never going to sound brilliant, but it'll sound OK in a field, which it where I'll be playing it.

It took some work to set it up but I'm mostly up and running now. All I need to do is figure out how to hold it (it's larger than I expected) and then learn how to play it! Easy!

Are you going to get a monkey?

We have a phrase here: "I want to speak to the organ grinder, not his monkey".

Clearly the monkey is the brains of the operation. It performs by dancing, drums up business and collects revenue. All the grinder does is wear a silly hat and turn the handle.

Do you have little stuffed birds on wires which move up and down?

Now I will have Donovan songs in my head all day

Vip, if needed we can put you in touch with the guy who set up the hurdy gurdy festival in the UK, lives in Derby and is a friend of t'other half's

I might just take you up on that.