h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Are you enjoying your new iBook? I've just bought a processor uprgrade for my Mac which I fitted today. But yes you guessed it, it didn't work. I've finally established through leaving messages on the Apple message boards that I need to upgrade my Boot Rom version (don't ask ). But I have to install an older Mac operating system to upgrade it, which I don't have. Sometimes computers are unbelievable. Naturally I shall get onto the company who sold me the processor upgrade on sodit.

Emotionally I'm a bit up and down, (what's new?), but not too bad. I see ER is teaching poor little Chinese kiddiwinks English! Oh well and bloody christmas is just around the corner. I'm determined to try to ignore it this year. It seems to come round quicker and quicker each year; it's terrifying.

Take care Avenging

red

I really should look at my page once in a while. I nearly missed this.

Trust me, I *know* the frustration of computers that don't want to wo*k... especially when I'm trying to change some damn thing or another. My advice - toss it in the trash at the earliest possible convenience. If anyone asks why you did such a thing, deny it.

How am I? Summed up in simple terms... apathetic. Nothing seems worth the bother, so I'd rather not.

Christmas is the best holiday of all to skip entirely. I recommend it highly. You'll be glad you did.

Yes, ER has surprised us yet again by turning himself over to a communist state for constant surveillance by tiny espionage agents. I can think of nothing more incongruous. The man is insane... but at least he'll have stories to tell if he should live through this.

Good to see you, Red. How is life in London? s

Been doing sound art recently, that's why I'm upgrading my Mac. I got some really pricey software, Digital Performer from a friend but it's needy of speedy processors. I actually reckon they deliberately make it difficult for certain upgrades because they want people to shell out on new puters all the time. But with my mentality I take that as a challenge...

I'm planning on going to the London meet this January, my first. I lost a bit of confidence after the ER fiasco, but a big group should be fine, although I do feel jittery about it. Everyone keeps assuring me what fun they are. And fun I can handle. I did meet up with around 7 hootooers in Sydney and that was fun. It should be a nice New Year happening I hope.

You'll be fine at the meet-up, Red. I have to admire your spirit in wanting to be involved and active in life. I wish I were similarly inclined.

Case in point ... I attended a couple of Weight Watchers meetings recently and found them to be deadly dull, pointless and somewhat humiliating. Now, I know that most people enjoy such get togethers - but me? Not my style. I did buy their books and materials so that I could learn their methods of weight loss, but I'll be damned if I'm going to sit through little silver paper star "bravos" being handed out to each person who's lost 1.2 pounds in the room, having to clap and act as if I care each time. Utter nonsense.

Silver paper star 'bravos'. God I can just imagine it Happy clappy nightmare would make me want to slit my wrists. Imagine if hootoo meets got like that for people making guide entries? You wouldn't see me for dust ever again.

Why did you buy their books? I could of helped you for free. Eat less sweet and fatty things. Excercise more! Not that I'm lecturing you it's just how long does a f**king book have to be to say that? Oh and special red advice might be, take up smoking, nicotine is an appetite supressant it works for me

I'm curious to know what 'materials' you bought. I hope it wasn't an excercise bike. You can have the one I have in my kitchen, it's only use after the first month was as a coat hanger!

I refuse to attend any more of Weight Watchers meetings without a cyanide capsule "safety kit" (in case the lesson becomes unbearable).

Eat less? How much is less? You're talking to an American here. We're surrounded by mounds of food everywhere we go, whether it be fat free, sugar free, heathy or not. We've collectively lost all concept of what constitutes "normal" food intake. The books I bought are cheesy paperbacks that will simply help me to make healthier choices, even when I'm confronted with restaurant-chain food that's filled with hidden demons. That's all.

Exercise? Well, there's another American cultural battle. We live in neighborhoods without sidewalks - where walking can be suicidal. At the age of 15 we are required to sit down and behave quietly, so as not to disturb our slavemasters. I've been an obedient slave, but all along, I should have insisited on "recess" breaks to play "tag, you're it", horse wrestle, and run around the building with glee. But nooooooooo, it's always the same thing... "Go back and sit at your desk and shut up, you!"

Mainly, I bought their stupid booklets in the hope that something in them would inspire me to become mentally charged to lose the lard - but I remain, as always, completely apathetic as I sit quietly in my chair at the keyboard.

Avenging you should have been in my class. we were so naughty at school that we had to have extra breaks in long lessons to run around and let off steam. And yes I'm talking 15 year old. It helps if you're in a gang to resist the slave masters. And because I've never grown up properly I still need to run around a bit each day to let off steam. The non pavement (sidewalk) thing is ridiculous. Ironically it does help to live in a big city. I rarely use my car because of parking problems and traffic jams. So I either walk to wherever I have to go or get the bus and get off half way there because of the traffic jams.

We are probably not surrounded by so much fast food stuff here. We have plenty but I don't seem to see them; many are so grimy looking and British, they're easily ignored. And when I visited the States many years ago I was astonished at the size of your portions. They're much meaner here. Anyone growing up in whatever culture gets conditioned I suppose. It's bloody difficult. It's still relatively common to smoke here and I find that impossible to give up and we probably drink far more alcohol than you. Each country has its 'issues'.

The apathy thing is also affected by people you mix with. Things have got a bit better for me recently cos I've met a few new creative humerous people.

But always remember Avenging you've got one of the best ironic senses of humour on hootoo. Any Brit would be proud of it! I hope your countryfolk appreciate it in RL

Why have you turned into a bloody number?