h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello Pheroneous.

Here is a link to the UnderGuide version of 'Conflicting Loyalties'

A53268131

I have made a few minor alterations such as adding apostrophes where needed.
I've capitalised 'Christian' (names) and added two or three commas.

I have a question, though:

you say:

>>no gossip about the tailors<<

Would that be tailors (plural) or tailor's (shop)?

I hope the version meets with your approval - let me know if there is anything you'd want to be changed.

Bel

Thank you Bel. I bow to your punctuation prowess. Tailors.

Please can we change one 'understand' to comprehend in para 4.

practised choreography that I don't comprehend


Many thanks.

PS on the UG version the title is misspelled.

Good grief, how embarrassing.

It's corrected now, and understand exchanged with comprehend in the place suggested.

Thank you for your quick reply.

Anything more, or can I declare it ready for its week on the FP?

Declare away.

P

Thank you.

See you on the FP.

Bel

Oh, and I've just seen that <ou have a comment already.

Please, subscribe to your story.

Bel

Hello Pheroneous, it's that time again.

Your wonderful story 'The Window' is at A56883045

I haven't really changed anything, but please have a look nevertheless.

Why did you remove the opening quote? I have a copy of the original version, so I could easily put the quote back in.

Bel

Re: quote. That's fine. I was just following advice from the thread. If you prefer it in (it sets the mood) I'm happy. I think I may have tinkered with this piece a little over the weeks, so you might want to check the version you are using.

Thank You
P

I used the version that's up now (without the quote), but I found that I had saved it to Opera Notes a long time ago, which is why I should still have the opening quote. The comments once a piece is picked only reflect what the QA said, but you're not expected to change your story - that's entirely up to you. I'll put the quote back in then.

The quote is back in, and if you didn't make any changes since last Saturday, it should be the most recent version I polished.
Let me know if I can hand it over to the UG editors.

Feel free. Hand it over.

Yes, of course I am happy to ignore the thread. But I am also here to learn and listen, and take advice if offered honestly.

Anyway, thanks for your appreciation and your editing etc.

It's always a pleasure working with you.

Off now to read your latest offering.

I hope you enjoy it, but it's just a piece of gentle whimsy. I have nothing to offer if not a mixed bag!

I work in retail, and I enjoyed it very much.

Me too. Shopkeeper by trade.

I work in a health-food-shop.
What goods do you sell?

Pharmacy. Drugs and chemicals!! Not your sort of thing at all!!

You err! That's where I work:

http://www.alte-apotheke-frankfurt.de/Wir%20%C3%BCber%20uns/Ihre_Apotheke-frame.html

(the health-food-shop was added about two decades or so ago, and it's not on the photo). My boss is a pharmacist.

You have my sympathy, boss-wise.