h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What are your 3 essays on? Have you completed them yet?

I've been debating putting the Socks entry into Peer Review. I'm not sure why I haven't yet. But it's the same with submitting my writing anywhere. I write and write in my spare time, but then when it comes time to submit my work, I freeze. I get all nervous. That's one of the many reasons why I'm debating the career change.

My essays are finally finished and handed in this morning. I made the deadline I finished the last one at 12.10am! On essay was a research critique, one about the data protection act and one about health promotion, screening and data collection Relief that's all over for another term.

Your entry is really good and should be accepted for the edited guide. If you can't face doing it I can always nominate it for you and then you won't be able to get all nervous. Perhaps if you let people read your work and you got positive feedback then you'd get more confidence in it. What's the worse thing that can happen? What sort of things do you write about in your spare time?

Well, thanks for the vote of confidence. I'll submit it for Peer Review soon.

In my spare time, I write about quite a few different things. I write academic articles on technology and computer science (though none have been published yet), and I write reviews of games, sports, and fiction (only a few of those have seen the light of day). I'd like to be a columnist some day, but that's not in the cards right now.

Do you write for pleasure?

I used to write for pleasure when I was at school but haven't recently. The only writing I do now is essays, guide entries and other stuff for college. Writing is one of those things that I get really into for a while and then not again for a few years. Rather like art. It comes in waves and there's no point trying to write or paint when it's all going terribly wrong and you're having to force it. My philosophy is similar to 'that' quote from Keats that I'm not going to type because it's so cliched. My last favourite piece of writing was when my friends and I managed a collaberative collection of poetry with the theme of fruit and veg. Not a topic instantly linked to poetry but we did rather well in a stupid Spike Milligan sort of way. Sadly I have lost my copy of the poems They were always good for a laugh.

Do you have a local paper you could write for? A local sports column or something?

Fruit and veg? A strange topic for poetry, though I have seen stranger. _Worms_ comes to mind. Why anyone would write an ode to a worm is beyond me... But inspiration strikes in odd ways.

So you are a bit of an artist, eh? What medium do you like to work in? And who is your favorite artist? I'm a fan of M.C. Escher, myself. I'm amazed by how he could convey such complex ideas in such graphically simple ways. In fact, Escher led to my interest in computers.

I could write for the local paper, but I have gotten so sidetracked with my computer studies that I'm not too likely to submit anything for publication in the near future. I spend most of my time in front of the computer these days, tweaking Web pages and writing code for programs. I'm becoming a .

s are the new or something.

Sadly, I'm no artist. I haven't painted since I was at school. When I was ill with glandular fever, feeling rotten and spending a lot of time on my own I used to paint with water colours in tubes. I used to love the way I could get a thick, textured effect similar to acrylic or oil but more matt (and less messy). I used to enjoy being a little surreal, partly because I felt spaced out most of the time I think. I suddenly dug out my paints and brushes last week and bought some paper but I haven't got around to doing anything with them. I seem to be too busy at the moment and then I expect the mood will pass again for the next 8 years. Needless to say I love surrealist art. I know that admitting a love of Dali is not considered a good thing to make known but I'm not going to pretend, I like his work.

I enjoy discovering new art too. My local museum is only small but it's free to get in and has some surprisingly good exhibitions of art. It's just had an exhibition of modern works by Italian artists taking inspiration from Boccaccio. Some of them were marvellous. The last exhibition I saw there was fascinating and beautiful. The artist had used local sea water and photographic techniques to produce beautiful images on glass. Unfortunately I'm unable to describe to you what these images were like. Some were flat, some 3D and they were lit from behind or inside. The salt in the water when photographed produced crystal shapes. It was like feeling I was right inside the sea (not in the usual swimming type way). Sorry, that's the best explanation I can manage.

Worms Fruit and Veg can be surprisingly inspirational You'd be amazed how many people suddenly started getting creative about them. Brussel sprouts seemed very popular. Web pages are still writing, just another medium. s rule

s may be the new , but it still isn't helping me find a new job.

Actually, I'm a big fan of surrealism! My last semester at school, I took a class called "Dada, Surrealism, and Punk: Modern Movements in Culture". It was the best class I took, aside from Tudor Drama. I know what you mean, though... admitting a love of surrealism can draw some strange looks from others.

I think I understand what you mean about feeling you were right inside the sea. I studied Oceanography for a semester in school, and we saw several images of sea salt crystals. I had the same feeling of being in the sea, with a whole different way of looking at the world around me. I used to spend every summer at the ocean, but I haven't been in several years now. It makes me a bit sad every summer... I miss spending those summers at the shore.

You don't like worms, eh? I love the little things. Anything that crawls, wiggles, or slithers. I guess I just never grew up... I'm stuck in that adolescent phase where things fascinate me.

On the other hand... brussel sprouts?

I couldn't not live by the sea again. In the summer it's lovely just to be able to put a book, some sun-cream, a drink and a towel in a bag and go down the beach for a few hours. I love walking by the sea in the winter too. It's very relaxing. Do you live far from the coast? One good thing about Britain is that even if you are right in the middle of the country, you are always close enough to be able to travel to the coast in a few hours.

I love surrealist literature too. I think it started with a fondness for reading Alice in Wonderland and Alice Through The Looking Glass as a little girl. It came as a lovely suprise to realise that when you grow up there are some books that still use that sort of style. I would class Douglas Adams as surrealist and Robert Rankin and Tom Holt. It's a style you either love or you just don't 'get it'. I watched a surreal documentary on surrealism a while back. It made me laugh when they were discussing Biblical influences. The presenter, dressed in a black suit and dark glasses was talking while led on a vast bed of tagliatelle verdi. He quoted Psalm 23: The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me lie down in green pasta.

Worms are a definite I think Brussel Sprouts probably are too but it's a coming of age rite for females. As a child most girls will hate Brussel sprouts and make this known. Then suddenly as a woman we all eat them and criticise men for still making a fuss about them. I'm sure there's a good sociology study in there somewhere.

Unfortunately, I live about 600 miles from the ocean. It's not a day trip for me. I live near some major lakes which have nice shorelines, but nothing as impressive as the ocean. I used to enjoy winter walks along the beach, too. It was always so still and quiet, and it gave me time to think without distractions... to just be alone for a bit. My father and I used to take morning walks along the beach when we were on holiday. It was nice to be able to walk and not HAVE to say anything... just to be alone together, if that makes any sense.

I used to go back and read Alice in Wonderland once a year. It's been a while for me, though. Too many other things have come up, and reading for pleasure has taken a much smaller place in my life. I agree with you completely on Douglas Adams as a surrealist author. I have to admit that I haven't read any Rankin, and only one book by Tom Holt. Holt is very difficult to find in the States. I've been looking for "Who's Afraid of Beowulf" for months. (I think that's the title, anyway.) On the other hand, you can't walk into a bookstore without seeing an entire wall dedicated to Terry Pratchett.

"He maketh me lie down in green pasta." I like that! (Mmmm... Pasta...)

"I think Brussel Sprouts probably are too but it's a coming of age rite for females." So that's why my mother used to make them so often! No one in my family ever liked them, but my mother steamed up a whole bunch of them at least once a week!

Sorry it's been a while since I posted. My conversations have been so busy that yours disappeared off the bottom of them. How are things?

I'm rather sleep deprived and not sure how coherent I am but I am still wearing the biggest, daftest grin I own as a result of the h2g2 meet on Saturday. It was a wonderful time and I can't wait for the next one. It is a very strange experience meeting people you consider friends but have never met and surreal when you all just hit it off like you've known each other for years The photos are already starting to appear so I am preparing myself for some embarrassment!

Where were we with our conversation? Oh yes.

Robert Rankin is my favourite author but I think his humour is best understood by the British as the situations that become so surreal occur in such ordinary (and real) places in England. I guess that's why he's not around in the states. If Douglas Adams is found funny though I don't see why Rankin shouldn't be. It's a similar humour only all Rankin's novels occur to humans (mostly) on earth. If you ever get the opportunity, read some! There's a link on my personal space to his webpage if you want a taster.


> So that's why my mother used to make them so often!

Now you know Is your family all male (apart from Mum obviously) or do you have sisters? If you have sisters have you noticed the change from hating your mum serving them up to suddenly thinking they are a really good idea? It seems to happen to all females in their late teens, early 20s.

I hope you don't mind, but I asked Bossel (a lovely Scout) to read your article on Socks.

Don't mind a bit! i hope someone actually likes my little bit on socks.

Well, it sounds like Rankin fills the same kind of space that Kurt Vonegut does here in America. Or Tom Robins (I think that is his name... I haven't read him in years). I'll have to see if I can track some Rankin down.

I have a sister, but she is older than I am, and moved out before I was old enough to pay much attention to her. I never really noticed if she ate Brussel Sprouts or not. I'll be she did, though... it's a conspiracy!

I'm glad you had a good time at the H2G2 Meet. What goes on at one of those?

Bossel's commented in the forum attached to your entry, you have a thumbs up

Incidently, Robert Rankin has a thing about sprouts, doesn't eat them though, rather they play a prominent role in time travel

Each meet is slighlty different but the general theme is meeting other researchers and drinking alcohol We all met up at about 2pm in a pub then we split in to teams to do a photo scavenger hunt around London. We had a list of things to photograph at least one of the group doing or with, eg. pulling a pint, in a policeman's helmet. The photos should be appearing sometime next week We then all met up again in the evening in a different pub for yet more drinking plus a quiz. It was a shame when it all finished but I'm looking forward to the next one It was good to not only be able to meet people I knew from the site but also to meet lots of new people. I now know so many more researchers and the backlog on my postings is almost unmanagable. I'm shocked with the number of replies I have to get through (pleased though )

Boy, I'm sorry about the gap in messages. I just got laid off at work, and I'm hustling for a new job as a result.

Well, I'm looking forward to reading some Rankin. In fact, I think I'll reserve a book or two from my local library. I need some good books to keep my mind off of being an unemployed bum.

The meets sound terrific. You have a lot of friends who are researchers, eh? It must be tough to keep up with all of your messages. I know that I have to take a little time off every now and then, and the backlog is almost impossible to wade through! Most of my friends I can only communicate with online.

Any ideas what you're going to do now? Have you thought any more about returning to uni?

I only knew a couple of the researchers at the meet but I've met a lot more by being there. The backlog of postings does get quite large if I haven't been online for a while, but I'm usually here everyday. I can't help it, I'm addicted I seem to communicate online a lot. My friends and I all moved away from each other, and it's cheaper than phoning and quicker than writing.

The meet photos are now up. The one's of the group I am in are at http://www.fotango.com/cgi-bin/public_gallery_item.cgi?index=&key=&id=110096 if you're interested in looking. All the other photos are around there somewhere too. There are rather a lot.

Hope you enjoy the Rankin books now I've recommended them so heavily. Like Adams, he does tend to write in Trilogies (some of 5 parts) and there are a few in jokes, but not so many that you won't understand the humour. Like Pratchett he also has recurring characters that crop up in most of his novels.

Well, as for what I'm going to do now, going back to uni does look like a good option. But I'd need to go heavily into debt in order to go back. I'm still considering my options. I have several friends keeping their eyes open for me, though... it's nice to have a network of folks who are willing to help.

I'm looking forward to reading the Rankin, and if he is similar to both Adams and Pratchett, then I'll be VERY happy!

I'm pleased you've got some options open. Over here it is generally accepted that going to uni requires getting yourself heavily in debt. We have special student loans. What's the system over there?

If you get the chance, read Rankin's Armageddon Trilogy (1st one is Armageddon The Musical) or the Brentford Trilogy (5 books, 1st one is the Antipope). The Antipope is almost comedy horror, but manages this without being a spoof. Very clever.

The system over here is generally "get accepted, then sacrifice your firstborn." Really, there are several ways to go about school. One is to join the military. The American military will pay all of your college fees.

The second route is called "work study." Generally, this means that you intend to perform some sort of service for the university, either as a teaching assisstant (if you already have a degree), or you work in a laboratory, or work in an office, etc. Then, the school pays most of your fees and gives you a stipend to pay for books, etc.

Another route is to take enormous loans from the university, which puts you in debt, but the loans are quite large. Loans provide enough cash to pay for tuition, books, fees, and living expenses, plus extra. I know some people who had enough loan money that they used the extra to buy a car.

The last route is to hope that you can get government grants. These are usualy only available to minority students or folks with economic hardship. One friend of mine had a government grant that paid for four years of one of the most expensive schools around, but he got the grant because his father died in an industrial accident.

I think Armageddon The Musical is one of the books I reserved at the library. Woo hoo! I'm looking forward to reading it.

That's sorted then, you've just got to join the army It sounds really tough getting funding, worse than over here. Here you fill in forms (very long and complicated, as they all are) for means testing. This dictates how much of the tution fees have to be paid by the student. The student then applies for student loans from the Student Loans Agency, a Govt. body. The loans aren't huge but are enough to get a student through their degree. They then don't start paying back the loan until they begin earning over a certain amount a year. I'm very lucky because my tuition gets paid by the NHS and they give me a non-means tested bursary.

I can't remember if I told you I've started a new job. I'm working for the hospital's staff bank as a health care assistant. I've now completed the compulsory training so I can start working this weekend. Not before time either, money has been getting rather tight and I applied for the job last October. I've had to wait this long. No wonder they are always complaining about staff shortages.

Let me know what you think of the book, I'm hoping you enjoy it.

Well great! Congratulations on the new job! Staff shortages, eh? Yeah, there are serious staff shortages at hospitals here, too. No one wants to be a nurse or an ER doctor... everyone wants to go into plastic surgery or fertility specialization because that's where the big money is.

Believe me, despite being a pacifist and a big teddy bear, I've considered joining the army just because of the tuition benefits. But I'm really a big push-over. In combat, I'd be hiding behind a rock and complaining. "You know, I could be reading a book right now! I don't want to be shot at!"

I'll let you know what I think of the book. But it's been pushed down on my reading list... I just got several books in that I've been waiting for. Two books on the Hundred Years War, a book on Castle Siege warfare, and another book on the history of Wales. Just a little light reading.