h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We happened to trip over each other the other day at the procrastinator's club, and it occurred to me that I tripped over you once before when I was looking up depression. I found it odd that I would trip over the same person in so short a time in so big a space, and thought I would drop you a note and pick your brain if you don't mind.

I have suffered from depression for most of my adult life. The past year has undoubtedly been the worst, and I have just about hit rock bottom. I've been on so many different meds, and still take so many pills a day (prescription) but they're not working. I fantasize about suicide all the time but don't even have the guts to do that right. I am on the borderline of loosing my job and am taking a leave of absence to try some outpatient intensive therapy for three hours a day, which will include more playing around with my meds. By the way, I have also suffered from panic attacks for years, and Xanax is one of my best friends. Basically, I'm a time bomb about to explode . (My sympathy to your sister with her illness - I wish I could trade places with her and take away her pain. Life is so unfair!)

Anyway, (I can't believe I'm pouring this all out at you), I was talking to my ACE about writing about my experience as I undergo my upcoming therapy. Didn't know if I should journalize it or doing a guide entry or what, since I'm so new. She suggested I get in touch with The Post people and do something there. I'm not sure I want to go quite THAT public, and I'm in a bit of a quandry. In some ways I think it might help to write about my experiences and get them off my chest, and maybe it can be of some help to someone else. On the other hand, it could end up being as depressing as hell. (Can we say that here?) And I don't want to pressure myself to HAVE TO write about it if I don't feel like it at any step of the way.

So I have picked YOU, Mista Drong, as a total stranger but one who obviously knows a thing or two about depression and pain, to seek out your opinion. Should I go public with this rubbish or just maybe post something in my journal from time to time if I feel like it? She says no one will read it there since I don't have any friends. I don't know that I really care.

Opinion, please? (after you have had time to procrastinate, of course!)