h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When I first moved in with EV he told me that there was a poltergeist in the house, which he'd named Eric. He told me that Eric moved things about so when you put something down you'd find it somewhere else. I thought EV was just forgetful. But not now.

Yesterday morning we were tidying up the house in preparation for our guests arriving. I was in the bathroom when EV shouts that the kitchen's on fire. 'Eh?', I think, not sure if he's serious or not. But on smelling the smoke I go through to discover that the packet of paper towels left on one of the cooker rings the night before is burning!

Now, we have an electric cooker and the dials are of the click round variety. They're quite sturdy and if you were to knock against them they'd stay where they are. They only turn on if you physically turn them with your hand. But this one with the paper towels on it had somehow managed to turn itself on. Even weirder, the dial was sitting on 5 when our dials go from 1 to 6. So whatever/whoever turned it on, they/it would have had to turn the dial twice....

?

Can I perhaps suggest not leaving flammable objects on top of cooker rings then

We certainly won't be doing it in future!

Are you sure it's not EV's pyromaniacal tendencies?

B

I'm hardly likely to burn my own kitchen down, am I? Yours, maybe.

Odo's invited Gordon Ramsey to do that.

B

I have to admit that I thought I'd put my mobile phone by the side of the sofa when I went to bed, so that I could see what time it was when I woke up. When I did eventually get up, the phone was in my bag.

I was a bit pissed though, and very tired, so I could have been wrong - but I was so convinced I'd left it there that I felt under the sofa to see if I'd kicked it there. I'd been cursed by a third party poltergoost as well.

Of course, I don't believe in any of this anyway, so I think I was just tired and pissed and put it in my bag.

"Third party poltergoost"?

Our TV remote controls been nicked. Does that make the sum content of this thread third party poletrgoost, fire and theft?

B

Yes.

So to get this straight: there is a poltergeist, in some way linked to the insurance industry, working simultaneously in Brentwood, Ross-on-Wye and Grangemouth?

B

There must be a firm of them.

Third Party Poltergeists (UK) Ltd
Brentwood - Ross-on-Wye - Grangemouth

Dammit chaps, we've been rumbled...

RF

Aye. They drive up and down the M5 in that lorry that you _thought_ you saw a second ago in your rear view mirror, but now it's not there.

B

There are no poltergoosts in Brentwood - I was in Edinburgh in a vault at the time.

No vault of yours.

B

Do EV and fords have a vault at there's. Woh I never realised they had them in Grangemouth. as a potential candidate I really should pay more attention.

When they said they had room for me to stay, I didn't realise I'd have to sleep in the vault.

There was a poltergeist that turned all of my clocks forward an hour on Saturday night/Sunday morning. I set my aarm clock to 10:20 and according to my phone, it woke me at 10:20, but when I then checked the time to go to practice, it turned out to be only 9:20...
Weird that.

I've still got a cold spot on my elbow that I seemed to have picked up in that haunted vault we went into on our spooky tour

B, are these the same remote controls that you thought you'd left in Newport? Or new ones and you're just very unlucky with them?