h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Is there life on this planet? My sources suggest that no, in fact there isn't. It's a shame really, it's quite a nice planet, full of flowers and woodland walks and springtime melodies from babbling brooks...clouds are good too, and those little red berries that you get on bushes that look realy tasty but in fact would kill you in an instant...

Yes, all this is wasted on the lack of intellegent life that roams freely and wildly around the place, spitting on the floor, pulling branches off trees and generally making a nuisance of themselves...

Now, as a higher being I realise that there "humans" would not understand this if were to tell them, but it's worth a try I think.