h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

... 'cause she ain't sung yet, Bloggs!

The gendarmes are lookin' fer ya! I know h2g2 is a big place, but y'know what they say -- ya can run, but ya can't hide!!

And that list you stole... well, it has a little error built in to it So each time you look at your page, you'll see a tiny yellow triangle in the status bar at the bottom of your screen.. Just a reminder that somehow, someday when you least expect it, ol' Talyesin is going to pronounce his curse on you

Hope you like the idea of noshing on flies for the rest of your life

Lalalalalalalalala!

okay. that's it. how do you like your flies? whole or squashed?

*a mysterious, arcane glow begins to issue from Joe Bloggs/Fat Lady's computer screen*



soon you'll feel the first effects. I would avoid mirrors for the next few days...

Well nothing is going to happen to me because I'm Wint...or possibly Tiwn, or maybe Iwnt...

Well... you don't... ~look~ like Bloggs.... *scratches head, *

Ha. I get it. Wearing a disguise, eh? You think just because you appear to have lost about 12 inches in height and about 200 lbs you could fool me?

*brings Blues Harp to mouth again*

Don shink szhad you're gun' ge' 'way wizh it, B'oggzh ho' you 'ike 'ormzh 'n phf'ies 'or 'eak'ast...

*takes ~very~ deep breath*

I am Joseph Alexander Ian Bloggs. Niwt is a little bugger who I am trying to do away with.
SO LET ME!!!
*grabs the Iwnt*
Ahahahahaha!

~weird, unearthly, strange, and rather nasty sounds issue from the Blues Harp All the s in the neighbourhood begin to howl All the s arch their backs, hissing and spitting, ( being s, they are exempt ) Restless s and s stir in the depths of hell. Thunder is heard, although the sky is clear. The sea is suddenly whipped to foam, (which is really , because this spot is nowhere near the sea ) Milk turns to yoghurt. loses it's head, begins flirting with the barmaids and gets thrown out of all the pubs. The landlord downstairs starts banging on the ceiling with a broom. In short, Really Awful Stuff starts happening. Except to the Iwnt, who vanishes, leaving Bloggs looking very foolish, as he staggers and appears to grasp at himself He begins to turn green, if not from the , then from the objectionable sounds~

'ou ca't shay uh 'in't 'arn ou, 'oggszh!

The Iwnt may have vanished but the Wint is still here!
*grabs Wint and knife*
Ahahahahaha!!! Say goodbye!!

*The Fat Lady arrives back from Bora Bora, grins wickedly at Taliesin and at Joe Bloggs*
*puts hand on knife so she can kill the Wint too*.....

~sigh~

~A single note issues from the Blues Harp, and Bloggs is instantly transported back to his miserable, cruddy hovel, where he finds himself locked in, unable to move, under the influence of a binding spell. At the same moment, the artificial Fat Lady pops out of existence like an overgrown soap bubble. The confused Wint and the Iwnt, (and possibly the Nwit), fall(s) to the floor, unconscious,but unharmed~

Now, who should I invite?

What happened?

~hands ? a . thinks better of it, and changes it to a at the last moment~

Never mind, just rest up. I believe you will find the next few days rather interesting...



I have to be going, now. Lots to do. See you when I get back..

Yay! You're going!