h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Holding a copy of XenoGears in one hand, and a laser gun in the other, xxx R growls*
Get going, young man, or the game gets it!

*In Full Power Mode* You're in MY domain now, mother. *IST summons Diablo, Baal, and Mephisto in kill her.* Have some fun, my pets!
For anybody who reads this, I don't really have a copy of XenoGears in RL, and the three demons I summoned are from Diablo.

Summons her 66th level Necromancer, Necrobaby. As he calls up a few iron golems, calls on her 74th level druid, Ursulated, who goes into grizzly mode and begins hack'n and slash'n. Ooooo! I can't look!
Baal Burgers, and Diablo Dumplings.
As the Druid postures in victory and Necrobaby chows down,
uses the C.D. as a weapon. Throwing it like a frisbee, she sends it spinning right at Mephisto, slicing him into sushi.
"Well, you'll never get this to load into the p.c."
She adds, looking at the messy game disc, and tosses it. Then she waits to see what happens next.

They were nothing, you should see their mother! *IST summons the mother of the three dead demons. gasps in horror as the woman's form is revealed. It's Martha Stuart! IST laughs an insane laugh.*

*Begins a very poserful Juno summoning..."

make that powerful.

In from the sunny state of Florida, comes the Rev. Bubba and the Free-style Antioch Baptist Choir and Rollerderby Queens. As the ladies begin humming "Blue Suede Shoes" reverently, Bubba steps up to Martha, his pinky ring flashing in the studio lights. His head is graced by a bleached white, shellaced Elvis pompadour hair helmet, and he's wearing a 3 piece, polyester, doubleknit, pink and orange plad ugly suit, with green socks and yellow penny loafers. "Be-a Gown, Ah Say! Yeeoooo
womain uv perDIshun, I ExPELL and ex-or-SIZE y'all!" He picks his nose as the choir, their bee hive hair doos bobbing and their chartruse and lime green choir robes swaying with the rythem of their boogie, Launch into "American Pie" (The Lawrence Whelk Version).
"In the-a naym, Ah say, in the SAcred NAYm of Elvis!, Ah Cast yeeoo frum this thread!"
Martha throws up her hands in horror, dropping her Wall Cheat Journal, and , screaming like a girl.

She was nothing compared to what else I can summon! *IST begins chanting. A mysterious portal appears and a being steps out. Oh, no, it's Jerry Fallwell! IST laughs evilly as he begins spouting his close-minded crap. covers her ears trying to shield herself from him, but it's no use.*

runs screaming from the thread, straight to wash. d.c., runs for congress on the undead ticket (Along with Jessie helms), gets elected, introduced and gets passed a bill removing the tax-exempt status of televangelists, quits, goes to college, gets her p.h.d. in creative book keeping, hires on at the i.r.s, audits jerry fallwell, and then puts out a warrent for his arrest. While he is awaiting trial on tax evasion, clones herself 14 times. three clones go to law school. One becomes a judge, one a lawyer for sleazy televangelists with reeeeely bad hair, and one a prosecutor. Then 12 of the clones are called up for jury duty. After a short trial, Judge hands down the sentence:
"Get a rope."