h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi, I'm well known for Off-topic being my middle name, but i didn't want to inflict this on the other (respectable?) members of the LOTR thread.

Not that it's actually really on topic these days.

Anywy, first I wanted to say thanks for the compliment to my fic, I like it... but only better than 98% of other fic? I demand links


And on to the Slash.

Well, there is no earthly reason, of course, to write it. I only wrote fic to start me off, now I'm writing more original stuff, but since (as it has now become clear) I've actually been writing fic in my head since I made up my first Noggin the Nog meets the Clangers story when I was a wee thing, I come back to it now and again.

So who writes slash? Women. Women my age (ah, not telling) to be precise. Usually straight, but not always. And most of what is produced is M/M stuff.

Odd?

Well, if you look at it like this: either we get to "boff" two (or more) men of our choice, or we get to be "boffed" by two (or more) men of our choice... or both... Two for the price of one, as a theory?

I just wanted to try my hand at writing something a bit erotic, without blushing and having to write it in the dark (as I have with my unsuccessful attempts at m/f stuff).

When I showed my mum (yep, she likes reading it) she said "oh, it's obvious. You don't want people to read your m/f stuff and think things like 'oh wat a perv she is' or 'oh how boring she is' and so on"

She does have a point.

Anyway, for what it's worth, that's what I think.

Tell more about the RPG, I find it fascinating, although I'm never tempted to try it.

Noggin the Nog meets the Clangers?
WOW! That would be something to see!

Slash: Firstly, I can sympathise with the blushing/writing in the dark thing. I can't write erotica either, leastways not without laughing, sending the whole thing up in parody or spoiling the mood by being irreverent. I don't think you should be laughing up your sleeve at the subject matter, and clearly you weren't. That comes over well. (If you want a full-blown lit crit, please feel free to ask me any time! I was very impressed by the tone and feel of the Boromir/Legolas piece, so I'll be reading more of your work as and when I find it!)

Being boffed (good word) by two fantasy guys? I still don't see how this works...it's the Lesbian Paradox. (You know the recurrent male fantasy of being in bed with two lesbians - fine as far as voyeurism goes, but if they're lesbians he's going to be left out in the cold).
Unless I'm missing a sensual aspect, which is likely since I have a Y chromosome.

Or is there an element of 'if I can't have him, no other female shall!' about writing two boff-worthy guys abandoning female company?

It's all rather confusing really.

RPG. You want to know about RPG.
First, go and grab a tasty beverage and something to nibble on. We might be here a while.

Back? Good.

Role Playing Games are, let's be honest, fun.
They come in three flavours:
Tabletop
Online
Live.
The common feature of all three is that they are largely the province of single teen males, and it's debatable whethere they ever get any older although they do tend to stop playing when they start getting boffed on a semi-regular basis.

Tabletop games are the 'Dungeons and Dragons' variety: sit aound a table with books and sheets of paper, rolling oddly shaped dice to determine the results of actions. There are as mnay genres of this RPG as there are genres of fiction or entertainment to base games on. These games are still popular because they encourage and stimulate the imagination. Often, roleplayers will defend their freaky hobby by saying that it's interactive storytelling and, to be fair, that's exactly what it is...when it's done well.

Online RPGs take the form of games like Everquest - a Massively Multiplayer Online Game run over the internet. You will need:
a computer
a credit card
a fast connection
no life
in order to play games like Everquest, but they are a great experience: persistent 3-D worlds, complete with small details like weather and sunset/sunrise at the appropriate times. You can go anywhere, do anything, interact with anyone you meet. If you ever get the chance to explore EQ or 'Dark Ages of Camelot' I heartily recommend the experience. Other online games include the various team based shooters like Quake, and variants of World War 2 which is currently being refought in realtime over several huge servers.
You can also hang out in chatrooms dedicated to fantasy RP, but I don't advise this: they tend to degenerate pretty quickly into sleezy pickup joints for cyberboffing. Ewwww.

Live is FUN! Live RPGs take the form of two distinct types: Semi-contact (aka 'rubber swords') and non-contact.
'Rubber Swording' is the generic name for a swathe of fantasy and semi-fantasy genre games which involve actual hitting of monsters with wepons - albeit latex coated foam weapons. If you want to do some research of your own, try Googling 'Fools and Heroes' who may well have branches in Germany.
Non-contact describes everything else, including the live variant of White Wolf's 'Vampire' games. I've been involved with three national systems in the UK (Camarilla UK, UK Masquerade and By Night) on an admin level, and I know that the Camarilla has branches abroad.
Live games are a laugh. They are immediate, impactful and social. They meld the visuality of an online game and the imaginativeness of a tabletop game. They require the suspension of disbelief and a certain amount of acting skill, if not outright swordsmanship. They are also immersive and can be expensive.

Questions?

Oh thanks for that great summary of the RPG. I know a few people (via my online involvement in the Stargate fandom) who regularly take part in such things, but I'm not sure that it's as sophisticated as any of yours.

I think I'd easily get involved, especially some of the fantasy stuff (I remember the days when we used to play LOTR and The Hobbit computer logic type games, way way back in the mists of time when I first joined the army - I was much in demand due to my ability to recite LOTR backwards...) but I don't have the time. I'm making a real stab at writing, and I'm the full-time working mother of the World Famous Gruesome Twosome. If only I didn't ned to

Back to Slash. Well, I've read a few essays, if only I could remember what they all said! Generally it comes to the fact that we Lady Writers of Slash (LWoS) like to have the chance of making not one but two men do what we want.

A curious thing. A gay (online) friend of mine likes reading the output of the LWoS - he thinks we spend way more time on the erotic and foreplay (and I blushed like mad writing that - at my age!!) aspect of sex rather than the "wham bam thank you... er.. sir" aspect that he gets when he reads m/m stuff written by men.

I may be weird, I've nerver really asked around, but I think women might just like the idea of watching (or reading) sex between two people who are having a good time? I don't really care (although I prefer to read than watch) what sex the participants are.

Of course, I could just be exra pervy, who knows?

I'd love a lit-crit from you of any of my stuff. It's mostly poo, but I can always learn.

I guess that difference of emphasis would be predicated by the different attitudes that the sexes have to boffing.

heh...I'm starting over-use the word now...

I think men concentrate more on the action and less on the build-up. It certainly seems to be the case from the online fiction I've read. Women seem to write more about the setting and mood, seem to be more concerned with how the situation develops and progresses.

I'm slightly amused by the concept of looking into that part of a character's life that the author didn't chronicle. A number of SF authors never went near the topic of sex, simply assumed that it went on elsewhere. I suppose it's character development of a kind. What interests me more is the reason behind some of the bizarre couplings...and what's this I hear about Harry Potter Slash? The mind boggles!

So...point me to your fiction and I'll crit away happily.
Which would make me a critter. One who crits. Hmmm.

er...
ok, here goes

be gentle with me (I know a lot of it is silly)

oh, and it's not all slash, and only a wee bit is LOTR (not worth reading any of theat except the Legs/Boromir and the My Princess one - the rest is true poo, but I can't bring myself to remove it)

the other stuff, the bulk, is Stargate related
only a wee bit is slash
only one of the slash is NC-17
oh,
and there is a crossover Stargate SG-1/Clangers fic, which has its origins in an h2g2 convo I had.

er...

here it is then

http://www.geocities.com/Clanger_Major/index.html

(Mrs. Danby is a friend of mine, I host her Stargate fic)

I think it's interesting that the LWoS tend to focus an awful lot on setting, clothes, and the whole build up to sex. They often have both men behaving in a very...not really feminine way, sort of New Man-ish.

Strange.

I'd be interested to read some f/f (I hate the term Femslash) written by a man, to see if it's all butch.

I've not read that much fic, to be honest I won't read it if it isn't well written (which makes me overly picky considering some of my stuff) and if the spelling and grammar are bad.

I won't read Harry Potter slash, simply because I'm not sufficiently interested in the characters. Although Snape and Lupin might be good. I suppose I have to be interested in the characters, which is why I read an awful lot of Sentinel slash - but then, the writers of that really set themselves up to be slashed big time.

I'm waffling, trying to keep you from my fic, now I've given you the link.

But isn't boffing a good word?
I try to use it at least once a day

Sentinel?

As in that awful American show about a cop with mystically enhanced senses?

There are fans of that show? The mind boggles...and then boggles over...

Men writing f/f? Now there's something you don't see everyday. Or maybe you do. Nom de plumes are so handy.

I won't read Harry Potter slash because the characters in the JK Rowling novels are kids, dammit, or teachers and I don't even want to think about that kind of thing. Ewwwwww.

I'm off to read your various fic bits and pieces. I'm looking forward to them. I'll post some humble thoughts on your PS when I'm done.

As a sort of 'by the way' - I thought you might be interested in this:

http://www.ansereg.com/what_tolkien_officially_said_abo.htm

It makes a good, if short, read.

Btw, I just realised I never answered this.

Yep, Sentinel as in that godawful semi-sci-fi cop show. Featuring a pesky anthropologist.

But what a gift horse to the Lady Writers of Slash! How can we resist?

and thanks for the link to the Elf Sex Essay. I haven't researched it, but I've had my eye on that for a rather long time. Many of the Slashwriters in the LOTR fandom take that as absolute gospel.

But most of them have the elves behaving like wanton whores on holiday in Ibiza.

I admit, I hadn't approached the Sentinel in terms of Slash writing but now you mention it I do see the potential.

If Tolkien's Elves are being depicted as " wanton whores on holiday in Ibiza" that would make JRR the Big Elf Pimp Daddy. The low hum you can now hear is Professor Tolkien spinning in his grave.

I sort of like the idea that the Elves just sort of give up on physical pleasure once they've Begetted. Yes, a very Catholic idea...but then if you've got forever even boffing a hottie like Arwen or Galadriel is going to get dull after a while. I imagine Celeborn actually being relieved when that part of his life was over and he could settle down to...errr...what is it he does again?

I can't be 100% certain, but I'm sure the writers of The Sentinel had one eye on a slashy subcontext there. There were lots of "moments" that had The Lady Writers of Slash running for their sharpened pencils.

I didn't watch all of it, it really was too silly even for me. But I do love buddy shows (even before I discovered slash) and it had potential. It was very cliché ridden though. Which is why I prefer Stargate - it does still have cliché situations, but often has an ambiguous ending, and the good guys don't always win.

I, too, like the idea that the elves only have that 50-ish year window of sexual activity - it goes a long way to explaining the decline of the elves (although you'd think they could hang around a bit more, since they are immortal) and the passing over to the Age of Men.

Although, if well written (a rare occurrance) an Ibiza Elves Uncovered fic can be fun. (oh no... there we go. I now have to write a Lothlórien Uncovered fic)

As for what Celeborn does? As little as possible as often as he can, if memory serves correctly!

I re-read the Lothlorien bit. Celeborn jumps to conclusions and throws all of his toys out of the pram as often as possible.

Lothlorien Uncovered sounds like fun. If you write it, I will read it!