h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Notsofatkelli,

Congratulations on your persistence with the diet.
I, too, have just finished tiling the bathroom and am depressed by the prospect of drilling holes to put back all the bits, did that bother you?

Right, to other things. It seems you were a bit miffed by my British English posting. I am sorry about that. My comment was of today, not twenty years ago. When we got this house, twenty years ago, we raised a mortgage based on my salary only (just in case). I work in the governmentally praised "public sector" in a "worthwhile" job. My responsibilities have increased in 20 years, so has my pay but not in proportion. I could not afford to buy the house if I were starting now. My wife helps out at a toddler group as she has since our daughter went there. It's a church run, part time group. The kids are brought in push chairs or modest cars. A couple of miles away, a school has a nursery and a "before and after school" club. I'm told that some of the kids are there waiting for the school to open at 8.00 am; I have seen some of them being collected at 6.00 pm although the closing time is 5.30. These were picked up in very smart cars and 4 x 4s.
The word "envy" may have come into your mind, but please ignore it. We have everything that we need and our daughter is about to start at one of England's "top two" universities, so there is nothing that I would change in our personal lives. I am sure that your parents are equally proud of their daughter and are satisfied by their parenting. My point is that they were not working to achieve what today's parents seek, and I worry about what I see to be the detrimental financial and other results of their activity.

If you've bothered to read all this, thank you for your endurance. It should stand you in good stead with your diet.

Hi Plaguesville - don't worry, I wasn't as offended as it may have appeared, but I was a bit annoyed. I doubt many people work for the sheer fun of if (lucky those that do!) and I don't think it is fair to characterise families where both parents work as greedy and somehow responsible for driving up house prices. My folks both worked when I was small out fo necessity to pay the (small) mortgage and to keep us in food and clothes. They organised their working lives so that they did a lot of shift work, meaning that there was always one or the other home to look after us - I don't think we had a christmas with both parents at home all day for the first ten years of my life.

They made a lot of sacrifices to put my brother and I in the position we are now in (yes they are very proud). They were able to buy a largeish three bedroom family home with two gardens in a nice area with access to good schools on the strength of my fathers salary as a washing machine repair man. For families starting out now there is little hope of achieving that sort of standard of living - when my little flat costs over 9 times what their house cost to buy, but my salary is not 9 times what my father's was at the time. Proportionally I expect to have to spend a lot more to get a lot less. I also know that unless I want to retire into penury I have to make provision for my old age now, and also factor in that I may have to look after my parents who for a long time expected a liveable state pension to retire on.

I hope to start my family when i can afford it - some time within the next 5 years, hopefully before I reach 35, but I am under little illusion that we would be able to buy a home large enough and support us all on my partners income - and much as I would love to stay at home while the kids grow up it is not realistic to think I could. This may be one of the detrimental effects that you mentioned. It is too difficult to compare what you were working towards when you started out, and what people of my age are working towards now when the financial/job/retirement/debt/housing situation is so very different.

Ahem, I seem to have waffled on for quite long enough, do excuse me


k

Hi, k,
Thanks for the reply. I'm glad you're not too cross with me.
I get the feeling we're headed in the same direction but I'm walking backwards.
I note your comment about organising events when you can afford to. My experience of life (etc.) [twice as much as yours] is that you cannot ever afford to, you just have to get on with it the best way you can. I offer my best wishes for the fulfilment of your ambitions.

Other people have said that about it never really being the ideal time and to just get on with it! A few things have to happen first - I need to get to the end of my diet so that I can get married in a nice dress (don't tell the boyfriend that is why I am dieting - he thinks I'm doing it for health reasons ) and we'd like to buy a home we can spread out a bit in. When all that is out of the way then I can see about getting knocked up!

Oh yes, I forgot to say - drilling in to my newly pristine bathroom tiles was very upsetting! Tiling that bathroom took about 5 days of hard work and was the worst job I have ever done. I swore never again but next weekend I'll be tiling part of the kitchen...


k