h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Good news! (But don't hold your breath...)
Next Tuesday is the day I get paid... OFFICIAL. UWE are going to transfer the money directly into my bank account. Should arrive at about the same time as Dad's cheque, oh the irony.
I looked in the mirror today, and noticed a slight shadow around my muzzle. Unfortunately not a 5 o'clock shadow, but more like a 5 day shadow. I can feel the relentless tide of manhood coursing through my veins... (prose)
More irony: the boss asked to borrow money off of ME today! Haha.
Here's something that made me feel slightly better today: a friend of mine was in a similar situation to me - not getting paid and so forth - but now the company he worked for has almost gone bankrupt, and so they can't afford to pay him. Believe me, it was a darn sight more money than what UWE owe me, I can tell you!
Well, time for bed. I really must have my 8 hours don't you know? Before I go, here's how to wake up at a reasonable time:

Set your alarm for 2 hours before you need to get up

When you wake up at the said time, set the alarm for one hour hence

When you wake up again, set the alarm for half an hour hence (no, this isn't some kind of paradox you sad maths people!)

When you wake up again, set the alarm for another half hour hence, but try the stay awake. (The alarm is only for backup purposes now.) At this point you may dose lightly for 5 minutes or so, but after about 15 minutes max. you will want to wake up, and you should feel fairly refreshed.

Of course, real men train themselves to wake up BEFORE the alarm goes off every morning, and then they turn it off while they're half asleep, and they don't remember what happened when they wake up 10 hours late! This is even possible with a complicated alarm clock like the one on my phone which involves the use of two fingers and about 5 key presses to cancel. (The voice of bitter experience.)
Goodnight faithful readers.