h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Dave

This is for LeKz, and to all it may concern, from a very, very grateful Kid.

I've just had a diagnosis of complex PTSD from my psychiatrist. I've run myself ragged for a year now trying to find out what was happening, hurtling through grief, depression, anxiety and a whole lot else besides, and through it all feeling that the truth was just there, on the periphery of my perception.

As usual I went out to get as much info as I could, and amongst available resources and the professional discourse, there, right in front of me, was the article you wrote. I saw it a while back and thought, "...?" but for some reason - (maybe a trigger?) I didn't buy it. But now I know. It makes more sense than any of the (eerily similar) prognoses I've been shuffled along with; the last time I saw my GP he diagnosed schizoaffective disorder. But sometimes looking for an answer's so all-consuming I fail to see what's right in front of me.

Thank you so much. It looks from what I've absorbed in the last 48 hours and scanned over the last 20 years that triggers aren't replaying the past so much as resurrecting the fear. I still don't quite get the dissociative fugue bit, but it seems not to apply - I've only ever lost time when I've had epileptic fits, and they cleared up a few years ago.

It staggers me, as most things do to find so many strong-minded and warm-hearted people on h2g2 who support each other through so many terrible experiences, and it awes me to be (potentially, if I could find the nerve) in contact with people with so much understanding and so much compassion.

I respect LekZ more highly now than I ever did. It's a privilege to have met you, and an honour not just to have been party to your willpower to improve understanding, incredible resourcefulness and industry, but to have benefitted personally from it to an extent that for the first time I feel I can deal with this and work towards a better life.

Its taken years of depressions, a breakdown, one manic episode and an overdose to get a fix on what's been happening to me. If only it were enough to go up to a doctor or psychiatrist and get the facts from the outset... it just proves that subjective experience is the only truly qualifiable source of insight with these things, with the right information and support.

It also shows what a precious and incredible resource the internet is, wheen gifts like these carry across oceans to strangers, repair hearts, and give life back to those so much in need of a reason.

I'm going to take a while to look back on things, find out what all the triggers are/might be. I imagine there's going to be quite a list. While I do, I've never felt safer in the knowledge that there are people in the world with the kind of generosity I've been looking for for 20 years. Bless you, thank you and all on h2g2 with the courage to share so much truth in a world so unable to listen. I hope soon I can do the same in a way I can sustain, hell, maybe even write a few articles... I will, I know that know.

Love, respect and s to all, and a million for Willem.

Chris

aka a Kid on the road to Damascus at last.

*will I post it, won't I... f**k it. Click*

Chris,

Thank you for deciding to post this.

I'm kind of at a loss for words. You've made my day, and that of LeKZ. Every time we get a message like this, we know that the world has become a slightly better place.

A suggestion regarding your efforts to find your triggers. It's important that you identify and understand them. It's equally important that, when you're making an effort to find them, that you be in a completely safe environment and be with someone you trust and love, who can help you recover when you discover that you've just identified a trigger by the means of triggering yourself.

My email address is given in my space here, if you want to contact me that way. You can find a link to LeKZ' web site on either of Willem's pages. Their email address is given there.

back atcha!

David

David

Thank you again. I'll be in touch.