h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi knitbunny doll
Finally back on line after your sisters wanton vandalism. Let me know if the email worked.
Luv you lots

I am a terrible mother but I have forgotten your email adress. Please send it as soon as pos. And, honestly, I do luv you lots. C'mon, we always gave you the new address when we moved house didn't we. Well, there was that one time we forgot, but anybody can make a mistake. And that time we let your room you only had to sleep in the shed for 3 weeks while we gave the lodger notice. And the only reason the dog has your seat at the table while you sit on the floor is cause the vet told me if I maintain eye contact with him he will eventually grow out of his annoying little habit of savaging the children.

Please, enough with the excuses, everyone knows that Jonathon is your favourite child anyway.

You are a terrible mum, how can you forget? It's my name and the initials of my university. I'll send you it anyway.

Thanks for sending me the address doll. I had only forgotten one or two letters of your address, like your name, I couldn't for the life of me remember what it was (why do you think I call you doll all the time? Oh, you thought it was a term of endearment) and the University you are at. It was a great surprise to me to find that you are still in Scotland. I thought with the amount of stuff that you and your father drive of with every term that you were providing for a third world country at least.
Lots of Luv from your Mum
P.s. hello 'Outlaw Hobbit', for your information I happen to be mummys favourite, that 'bond' with Jonathon is just to make him feel appreciated because he is the middle child. Unfortunately I have a better memory than my mother and I can remember you.
by Royal Decree, the 'Princess'

Princess Jobbie-pants, if you want to talk to me you can get your own h2g2 account. Two people upsetting me in the one post is more than I can handle. And it's a matter of fact that the evil step-mother always preferes the Ugly Sister anyway.

I forget to say - my Elastane entry is now pending. I don't see any entries on your page, do I?

And whats that supposed to mean? And how dare you call me an evil step-mother. I've worked really hard to be this evil and I would appreciate some recognition for my efforts, Cinders.
Very many congrats on your pending.

What are you offended about, the 'evil' or the 'stepmother' bit? If it's the stepmother bit then are you telling me that you've been lying all these years you've told me they swapped your real baby for me at the hospital? And the chimpanzee in the next bed didn't really go home with your real daughter?

It wasn't a chimpanzee. It was a gorilla.

By the way, I've been talking to some of my friends, and they say it's true: children *are* supposed to get presents at christmas. Birthdays too, aparently.

Sorry about the delay in replying. To answer your question, I am afraid your friends have been misleading you. What they haven't told you is that it is only the youngest siblings that receive gifts at Christmas and birthdays (which is just as well because for the life of me I can't remember when your birthday is. Though your Dad says April the 1st rings a bell, but I think that is something else entirely).

Congrats on the Elastene entry being included in the guide, doll. I am afraid I will be doing all I can to keep your nose to the grindstone at Easter in the hopes that you will finish your Dior entry. It really is too good to be allowed to die.


Lesley

p.s. am I getting adventurous or what.

Oooh, smileys and everything!
But can you do this? ?

And here's a special one just for you -