h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What say you?

Socks, puppets?

BTW, nice page you've got!

No, not a sockpuppet. My one and only live account, just playing with names. I had "fuctifino" as a suffix which I quite liked after a bit so I took out the swl part. This got modded. It got modded again after an appeal to the mods and a slight change. So the current one is a bit of a protest - but obviously none of the mods are from Fife.


Yes, it is rather a swish page isn't it?

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Nor me, but the wife is from Dundee (close enough) so I asked for a translation.

Shocked?

I wasn't.

It's hardly rude at all. I expected far better from you as a protest.

As I get older, my powers to offend grow weaker

Let's revive your old spirit.

AB - Once again we have the spectacle of one of your long-winded whinges. This time you decided to spread it out in instalments. Instead of the "What happened next" balls, why not have your whinge and the accompanying appeal for sympathy in one post and get it over with instead of cluttering up Ask H2G2 with your "Eebagum, it wasn't like this when I were a lad, this used to be all fields, I'm 103 you know" bilge?

My friend, can you help me with this?

Bored with streaming Radio 2, my lovely wife asked for some tunes and suggested we try http://www.wave102.co.uk/

Now, apart from the fact that the tunes are shite and the website has never moved on from HTML.1, the sponsorship just cracked me up.

The Fintry Chipper???

Ye God's.

Can you actually operate a radio station for a freebie donation of haddock-and-chips twice a week?

Well the Mrs tells me there used to be three chip shops in Fintry, but two have been taken over and turned into Chinese takeaways. The third one used to be called Fry Fare and it's the one she worked in as a teenager. Apparently it was the cleanest chippy in Dundee, scrubbed top to bottom every day and the oil changed every night. It was always popular so it's not unreasonable to suppose it prospered to the point it could sponsor a radio station.

Incidentally, the middle daughter was a fan of the boaby - specifically footballer boaby. She was the original WAG and knew half of the Dundee United reserve team *very* well. Apparently she used to come into the family business very hungover, looking like she'd been dragged through a hedge and my wife had to cover for her as she slept it off in the storeroom by the bags of potatoes.

Maybe we should step aside and let the Missuses discuss Dundee chip shops, mine tells me that Dora's in St Mary's was her venue of choice due to their exceptional 'fritter rolls', unless the family were out for dinner, then it was a 'sitty-doon' at The Deep Sea.

Tonight I have learned 3 new Scottish phrases. Fritter rolls, sitty-doon and boaby.

Still listening to Wave 102 and just heard the advert for said chip shop. It is of a similar standard to the Wave website...

Dora's had the bigger range, I'm told. Chicken Maryland! From a chippy!

There's a Chinese beside the Deep Sea where I overheard the strangest conversation.

Two middle-aged men were standing waiting for their order. Obviously they knew each other as they were chatting away.

- Remember Billy Chisholm?

- No, can't say that I do.

- Och, ye do. He was in our woodwork class.

- No, can't place him.

- The wee fella, black hair, dad was a coal man.

- No

- Married Jenny Scrabster, her that had the hump and the bandy legs

- No-ooo, I don't...

- Och, ye do. He was in the Tully for keepin' penguins in the bath.

- Oh THAT Billy Chisholm!

At this, the pair fell about laughing and I couldn't keep my mouth shut (too many beers in the Phoenix next door courtesy of Mr Bannerman)

- Excuse me, did you say penguins?

- Oh aye, he was weel kent for it. He got the penguins after the cooncil forced him to get rid of the seals.



Weird place Dundee. Hard-headed women and kettle-bilers

And I'm from a far superior place - Fife http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3e-omkUFUk0

And you, you fu$ker, have just made me cough up my tea.

Let me get back to you in the morning - it's been a long day.