h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

now that is a question indeed........do i REALLY want to know? well this is me asking so i guess that means yes. so tell me

[gives Positivefreak a look that's more pointed than the sword in his sheath]

[looks back stubbornly refusing to look away probably on the point of sticking her tounge out at him]

Trust me. My past is a story best left untold.

And why do I have any reason to trust you when i know nothing of you. To make me go away you will have to tell me. [raises her eyebrow as if daring him to disagree]

[considers committing a senseless act of violence, then decides not to]

Very well. My story begins ... well, a while back, some time during the mid 1990's, when I first read, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". This doesn't really have much to do with that yet, except that it led me to join the H2G2. Well, this isn't my first account, you see: my first User Number had only five digits. (No, I won't tell you what it is.)

Those were the days to be a member of the H2G2. In those days, you could post anything you wanted to. In those days, we Researchers were considered good enough policemen of the fora. In those days, of course, I was still a boisterous newbie, but no need to harp upon that.

*glazes over thinking of the old days in h2g2 when everyone was free*

those were the days. anyway it seems like some form of conversation has started so would you like to tell some things about yourself? Or are you going to continue being dark and mysterious?

No, I'd just prefer that I tell sequential parts of the story, and you insert your comments.

[going into RP mode and leaning against the wall outside his house] Well, a while after I joined, a friend of mine went on a mission to develop his personality. I'm STILL not sure how, but he managed to get himself transported several thousand lightyears to a point outside the Galaxy.

Er, this is kinda hard to stomach, I know.

fair enough

[sits herself down on the floor, slips out of sarcasm mode, half closes her eyes to listen and prepares to make comments]

er, would you believe me if I told you it wasn't really that hard to stomach?

I don't trust many people. You're one of the few I /do/ trust.

Anyway, this friend of mine found, on the other end of this hyperspace journey, a giant, spherical starship, kinda like the Death Star, only much smaller, blue, shiny, and instead of the "dent" of the Superlaser, there was a green, glowing bulge. This starship was called Vanda, and in it was the most evil being in seventeen galaxies. Or nineteen, as he had now arranged it. He was called Mordred, the Dark Mage.

Somehow, he managed to be evil without being fiendish, if you know what I mean. He was actually kinda charming, and you almost needed to keep reminding yourself that he was evil. Except for the fact that there was just something about him ... [shakes head] Anyway, he plans to take over the Galaxy with his aptly-but-not-very-creatively named Legion of Terror, headed by Great Admiral Cyris, who looks like a crystal with a person's head in it, and Culex, the Dark Knight of Vanda who absolutely refuses to call Mordred anything other than his title of Dark Mage.

And Mordred's endeavor will succeed. I know. I'm actually from the future, and it doesn't look great after what Mordred Vanda's done.

But there is a way to stop it. Hang on a sec. No, better yet, come on in.

[enters his Spartan-seeming house and goes over to a locked chest] Sit down in that chair over there ...

you trust me after such a short space of time? interesting.

[slowly stands up and walks into the house then even more slowly sits in the offered chair. Blinks a couple of times and then tries to process all the information she has just been given]

give me a second darlin' i get confused easily.

[finally puts all the information in order]

Well how can I help. I'm here now so i might aswel. I'm sure you can do with a slightly cynical, incredibly sarcastic, young helper.

I actuall know you from the last time I was at this time, when went /forward/ to this time at a rate of ... well, one year for every time Earth goes round the sun.

You are going to be part of a puzzle I'm creating ... [continues to search the box] ... if I can FIND the blasted thing ... Ah. Here.

[pulls what appears to be some sort of magic staff out of the box: it is made of wood, magenta, about a meter long, and at the head, like a scepter, is the red letter D, made apparently of metal. He then proffers it to Positivefreak]

This is one of the only five weapons capable of defeating Mordred. It is called, very generically, the Staff of Destiny. You need to find the nephew of Zork's current Dungeon Master. He will be in the Cavern of Crystal Lights on Mt. Sandeverest, along with my future self. But first, you must learn the ways of Trance.

[opens her eyes properley, chooses to ignore the first comment for fear of further confusion and takes the staff without question]

puzzle? ways of trance? I think I can feel a headache coming on..........sorry darlin' ignore me. go ahead.

Trance is the only type of magic that can defeat Mordred. If you want to live through the upcoming war, you'll probably want to learn it. I don't know why it's called "Trance" or who came up with it in the first place, but that's what it's called.

Here's what Trance is as far as I can work out. You can only use Trance skills while in the unimaginatively named "Trance Mode" which you get to by channeling a surge of emotion into it. Trance has three parts: Aura, Formation, and Eight Skills. Trance Aura is a color that you glow for each person. Your eyes also shine that color. It's just about unique for each person: I have a neon green sort of color, the friend of mine who I mentioned has a specific shade of blue, there's a phoenix whose Aura is firey orange ... I could go on and on. Trance Formation is a sort of ... well, transformation you undergo. That, too, is also different for each person. It doesn't affect your clothing.

The Eight Skills are abilities you can only use in Trance Mode. When you learn Trance, you will only know one of them. But over time you will learn the other seven sequentially.


In other words, when your character learns Trance, make a list of the spells at home, but only put the first one on the H2G2. After that, you can pretty much bring them up as you please. Just don't do it all at once.


After you learn Trance, I'm going to send you on the mission to find my past self and the DM's nephew on Mt. Sandeverest. I'll only give you four items, but I think they're all you'll need, besides your own ability to think things out. Do you accept the mission, the responsibility that comes with the Trance powers, and the Staff?

these trance powers sound almost like the 5 metafunctions.......yet different. [plays with hair a bit and glazes over whilst thinking] yes I'll accept, but I have a question, why do I need to do this? Why can't you go? It seems like you've got this whole game down sweetheart.

(ooc) u've probably already told me i'm just so bloody ignorant sometimes i wasn't listening (/ooc)

Well, for one thing, I only remember encountering /you/, and I don't want to cause a temporal paradox. Don't worry, you'll be in contact with me the whole time, except when you're with me. Er, my past self.

Okay, here's the items.


Hookshot: A grappling hook that can extend to twenty feet, and once it reaches that length or embeds itself in something, or fails to do so, it retracts to its original length, and it's powerful enough to pull you along with it, if it embedded in something.

Dagger: It's a type of short sword. It's about 45 CM (1 and a half feet) long, and it's sharp.

BlasTech DL-44: It's a type of blaster.

Comlink B: Use it to communicate with Darkman.

Holy Hand Grenade: Pull the pin. Throw. Pray.


[gives them to PF]

Now let's go to the Trance Zone to let you learn Trance.

[pushes a hidden switch on a wall. A dimensional portal opens up.]

Take this to Rubicant. [gives PF a note]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F68464?thread=123545&latest=1

[shrugs]

well i'll see you later then i guess.

[blows darkman a mock kiss then walks through the portal]