h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello Ian... me was reading you home page... and me was thinking how you would dislike me... me sings badly..but loudly... people say me has a terrible grasp of English... me has been called stoooooopid... in the past... and me is almost the exact opposite of you... me short... got orange fur and green eyes... ~mournful~

We are alike in one way... ~Greebo glances down at her rather big belly...~ Me eats to many doughnuts... and me is what you might say cuddly... ~grin~

Do you really dislike me all that much???? ~hopeful grin~

Greebs...

Weeeelll.... I have unlimited jurisdiction over my judgement of what constitutes bad use of English, and complete discretion over who I think is stupid, therefore...

I hereby declare your use of English to be cute, and your stupidity to be invisible going on nonexistent.

I think we should probably agree that you won't sing to me though

Gosh... me wubbles you... ~Greebo jumps onto Ians lap... and stares into his eyes...~ Would you happen to have a doughnut about you???

~Hopeful grin~

Not a doughnut to be found

Do you like pizza? Our cat, Sweep, likes playing with the crust from yesterdays pizza, but that's not quite the same.

Not a doughnut to be found

Do you like pizza? Our cat, Sweep, likes playing with the crust from yesterdays pizza, but that's not quite the same.

Oh drat!!!... nope pizza... just isn't the same... me afraid... ~Greebo looks pleadingly at Ian~... are you going to sit there and let me starve???

Must... be... strong...

OK OK! I'll have a look!
*mutters about how cats are good at making humans do what they want*

Gosh, I didn't even know I had this! Here you are then!

~Greebo stuffs the doughnut in her mouth and swallows...~

Just the one then is it... ~Greebo frowns~... me must say you're a little stingy....

Now don't eat it all at once!

Now don't eat it all at once!

I was just shaking the packet, and two fell out. Doh! I'm giving it all away too quickly!

Here... let me help you get the hang of things...

~Greebo snaffles the whole bag of doughnuts... and swallows them down bag an all...~

There.. ~burp!!~ Oh excuse me manners... ~grin~

Oh my! A porcine feline.