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seminars. post mortem

I have given the seminar now. Very stressful. I stuck to alot of the rules. Although I did try to begin to print the slides out early. No luck though as the PC printer server was broken down all weekend. Which led to a hectic monday morning. You cant win.

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Latest reply: Jul 4, 2001

Seminars

To give a seminar follow these rules.

1. Dont start making the slides until the day before. If you start earlier make sure you leave the difficult ones until the last day.

2. Never print anything out until the night before you need it.

3. When you do print something out make sure a) you have no blank tranparent slides, and b) you dont know where to get any blank transparent slides.

4. It is essential that the transparent slides that you eventually find are the wrong kind for your printer/photocopier.

5. If you are going to make a powerpoint presentation, save your presentation in as many formats as you can. It will not matter it will still be the wrong one.

6. Hide all the pointers in the lecture theatre, to use up some minutes and make you nervous.

7. Fiddle with all the light switches on the podium. Then someone helpful in the audience will fiddle with all the light switches on the wall near the door, before they creep up in front of you and fiddle with all the light switches on the podium again.

8. Shuffle your slides thoroughly.

9. Try as many orientations of your slides as you can, before settling on upside down and back to front.

If you observe these simple rules your seminar will conform to the internationally accepted standard that we have all come to expect.

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Latest reply: Jul 4, 2001

cooking

When you cook, the most important aspect is compliments. Make sure you get them. Or whats the point?

Occasionally people forget, and you have to prompt them.
Blatantly "Its good, isn't it? Yummm!"
Subtley "Perhaps I put too much paprika in it." Should get a "No, its really nice, just right."
Agressively "Would you like some more? No, why not? Whats wrong with it?"

Make sure that the gratitude for you slaving away over the hot stove to produce this masterpiece extends to getting the washing up done for you. Especially the pans.

The quality of the food is not really important, as long as you can get it out of the pan.

Of course this only applies to males who fancy themselves as haute cuisine chefs.
Females would be lucky with a "pass the tomato ketchup" between mouthfuls. And "That was alright" before settling down in front of the tele.

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Latest reply: Jun 27, 2001


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