Journal Entries
Not Here, There
Posted Sep 17, 2007
For all things blog and blog-like I'm over there.
There being http://boredlaura.wordpress.com/ obviously.
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Latest reply: Sep 17, 2007
The Morning After . . .
Posted Nov 29, 2002
Oh deary me, as we say back home. Last night was quite an experience, my first ever Thanksgiving (strangely enough in Germany as opposed to the US as would be expected.)
I learned the following pieces of information:
Never drink anything that is made or served in buckets. PGGB had nothing on whatever it was.
Never think it's a good idea to party 2 hours away from home when you don't know how to return!
Partying on a Thursday night means you can't get to class on a Friday.
Will I ignore this advice, is Earth Mostly Harmless?
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Latest reply: Nov 29, 2002
My triumphant return - or something like that
Posted Nov 12, 2002
It's been, what seems like, forever since I was here thanks to my short attention span. My little page had almost become a dreaded dead website (RIP) but I returned just in time to prevent being declared legally dead and joining the great hard drive in the sky.
Now it's all shiny and new again, and I even made a forray into Guide ML so there's smileys (or is the plural smileies?) and formating, delightful.
How long will it last? You never know, I might make a guide entry while I'm here. . . (Hey, I'm not promising anything!)
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Latest reply: Nov 12, 2002
drinking
Posted Jun 21, 2001
Based on recent experiences
Stages of Intoxication - A Simple Guide
Here follows a simple guide which can be used to calculate exactly how drunk a person is.
Suggestability
The first milestone in any drunken stupor is marked by suggestability. It usually starts off with the innocent line "Wouldn't it be fun if . . ." Any sober person would be running, screaming "no" at this point, however under the infulence of alcohol the act known as 'karaoke' seems like a good idea. Trust me - it never is.
Suggestability is also the state of drunkeness which has you waking the next morning concerned about the addition of body piercings and / or finding yourself on a boat.
Love
By this point in drunken proceedings you have probably already declared your love for any number of people in the vicinity, through the act of 'karaoke', and you are now ready to move onto "true love".
You will find yourself confesing your undying love to any number of people, starting with the person serving you alcohol. You'll find yourself moving on to any number of other people, after each and every one of them has deserted you. This does nothing for your self-esteem and so leads onto stage three.
Truth
Stage Three, the sharing of truths. At this point you are less than pleased at all of those people who told you where to go, and so you begin telling them. Not privatly, of course, you're in full voice (and possibly with the 'kareoke' microphone) telling everyone who'll listen.
Shortly it will unfortuantely escalate, there is no stopping it, and you'll begin telling you're friends that you think they're ugly / boring / whatever. After five minutes of ranting you'll tire yourself out and slump lifeless into a corner.
Redemption
A few drinks later and you will come to realise what you said during stage three - truth. Waves of depression will sweep over you and you start apologising to everyone. Do not feel alarmed if you find yourself apologising to a lamppost, it's perfectly normal.
After apologising and hugging everyone you can see, you begin to forgive yourself too, and so as a reward you let youreself move onto stage five.
Tequilla
It is a well known that tequilla shooters / shots are only ordered by the insanely drunk. At this point you will be past remembering which order it goes and end up eating the salt. (Incidentally it's salt, tequilla then lemon - not that it bothers you by now)
Tequilla is always regarded as the last drink of any binge, and therefore shooters will be consumed until you are asked to leave the premises - either due to over intoxication or closing time.
The Final Stage - or getting home
This can be a vital clue for the next morning to see exactly how drunk you were. The following list is of locations you wake up in decending order of drunkeness:
a police cell
the gutter
an unknown outdoor location
an unknown indoor location
your own doorstep
your own bed
Please remember this is just a rough guide, not reccomendations. Deviations may occur due to natural variables and the author cannot be held responsible for any deviations.
1. 'Karaoke'- the japanese tradition of murdering songs in a drunken rambling. Is now prevelant in most of today's society.
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Latest reply: Jun 21, 2001
boredlaura
Researcher U172849
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