h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

James says Kalashnikov wished he'd invented the lawn mower because appreantly it was more useful than his gun.

James is a moron. Thats all I have to say.
The Kalashnikov in it's original 1947 model is still in service today with many countries and also with rebel and Guerrila forces and terrorist organisations.
The operating system is simple, well designed, easily made even with limited parts and machinery, and has been proven time and again over the last 56 years to have been arguably the most reliable weapon ever made. The 7.62 caliber is highly effective at taking down human targets (far more so than the 5.56mm bullets used today) and the weapons were remodelled several times, the AK74 and the new, and exceedingly fantastic, AK100 series. THe AK47 is also the most popular assault rifle in the world with somewhere in the region of 35million produced and taken up, not including copies and cheap knock offs! Compared to the second-runner, the M16 series, which have only shifted something like 6 million (don't qoute me on those figures they are a little on the old side)
Case in point the Vietnam War. American troops had endless problems with M16 rifles jamming, becoming gummed up with mud, blood and the sundry mess of war. The Vietcong, armed largely with AK47's had no such problem. You can hand an AK47 to a child or blind grandfather (not that I would advocate it!) and they could shoot it all their life without ever having to worry about maintenance. The only time a Kalashnikov weapon will not fire is if its empty or you've left the safety on.

P.S Isn't this the same guy who thought the SA80 was a decent gun!

I will be sure to tell him of his ignorance.

AK47s rock.
Although I prefer the M4

The new M4 series is pretty damn funky I have to admit, even though I've never really been a fan of the M16 series I am most impressed by these new developments. Soooooo many optional extras.

Like the M203 underbarrel grenade launcher.
Or the Master Key shotgun.

Ever notice that the starship troopers guns are just like M4s, but with a big shell.

Yeah, although I always thought that they just ripped off the pulse rifles from Aliens. Now that, is a damn nice gun.

Please start making them Heckler & Koch. Please...

Ohh, nice.
But I wanna plasma rifle.
In bulgaria, I saw a baretta 22 pistol on sale.
After cautiously examining it I eventually pulled the slide back, pointed it at the floor and pulled the trigger. A small flame shot out the barell.
On closer inspection the saftey catch didnt work either, but apart from that it had me fooled.

Ahh .22, the caliber of the professional! But probably not coming out of the end of a cheap and cruddy bulgarian berreta knock-off with a defunct safety catch.
Despite having very little (to be honest none) stopping power they are naturally sub sonic, have a decent degree of penetration and they have just about enough power to punch into the average human skull but not enough to get out the otherside. Result= internal ricochet+ mushrooming and therefore cerebral puree.
All the best things come in small packages.

It was a lighter.
I prefer the glocks.
I've really go to get myself some firearms, or failing that, at least some replicas.

Ahhh the Glock. Huge variety of sizes, calibres, magazine capacities and the best safety system on earth, three internal safety systems and non of them need to be fidled about with before you can shoot, just point and squeeze kids!

The only small itsy-bitsy teenie-weenie problemo is, as I only recently found out...


They explode.

Seriously. I recently found out from a fellow firearm expert that Glocks have a small feed problem that causes them to occasionally explode in your hands when discharged. This happens only slightly more often than normal and is generally not a problem unless you reload your brass. My advice is if you have a Glock treat her right and buy decent ammoo!

Home rolled ammo always seems like a bad idea - unless you have no other option.

Desperate times require greater firepower...

Ohhh, RPGs

I was unaware that wasa reference to anything...

My god I'm so sad I do it on auto-pilot!!!

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Oh sorry I assumed you meant RPG in the sense Role-Play Game. But obviously you are refering to the joys of rocket propelled grenades. Them dang things are so much fun!
The M90 recoiless rifle, despite being old is a favourite in the rocket launcher department, if we're straying towards heavy weapons, the best thing would be the shell that launches 3,390 odd flechettes in a 100 metre long 50 metre wide (at end) 14 metre wide (at start) cone, effectively turning it into a 90mm (yes, 90mm!) calibre shotgun! and anything in front of it when it goes off into mincemeat!

I like Knifes.

Wow, Covert Bob has his own account now.
Knives suck in comparison to guns.
Apart from the knifegun.

No! Not suck! Make less noise. Not need ammo. Need gun only if they see you. Being seen is a stupid waste of time. Don't be seen. Stay in protection of the shadows.