h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...........and Edwin Goodwinson was angry. Once again, he felt that his father, Egbert, the Lord of the Manor of Whitney, was being cheated by King's Court and the officials of the Royal Forest. His forebears had been of the House of Wessex, but had had some connections by marriage to the Duke of Mortain, a Norman nobleman. They had been able to hang on to their manor after the Norman invasion, but at a fierce price. 'Slighted', with their best meadows taken by incomers, and other lands taken to form a royal deer park, Edwin's father still bridled after all these years, saying that they should be treated as their lineage desevered.

Edwin was riding the bounds of his father's lands, and his white stallion strayed along a path on the edge of the thick oak forest. He urged the horse to a swift trot, and Pommers responded. Suddenly, a flash of green on the leavy ground caught his eye, a wrench at the scarlet leather reins, and Pommers swerved, somehow still managing to strike a the object on the ground a glancing blow.

'You idiot! You ill-formed son of a mis-begotten shrew! Were you trying to take a maid's life?' The shrill voice came from a female form which rose from the forest floor, like an avenging angel. A fair form, indeed, Edwin noted, dressed in a fine green velvet gown, trimmed with Nottingham lace, and closely fitting to a superb figure. No more than one and twenty summers he thought, and well passed the age for marrying........

....You've not only disfigured my shoulder but emptied my basket as well. I think next you shall be wanting to kick a dog! Her glare was the result of not only having been startled from her sleep but from the blood that she felt on her hand which held her throbbing shoulder.
Elizabeth had lost her way while picking berries and herbs . Before she realised darkness had befallen her and her only hope was to cuddle down within her skirts and cloak to await the morning light.....
.....as her eyes adjusted through the tears of pain welling within she caught glimps of a Royal Coat of Arms on the man's breats.....her thoughts swirled....
thinking....I shall be whipped for this tis certain....her only hope was to look at this man the way she did the young men in the Village of Glencave....she had a way of looking at the men and having them trip over themselves to do her bidding....she looked down....softened her face....looked back upon the horseman and smiled a bit when their eyes met in the moonlight. She could not help but notice what a fine cut of a man he was indeed....a smile began to dance upon her lips despite herself....
As he looked down from his steed he noticed the smile and thought ....what an insolent maid....but when his eyes met hers he could not help but smile a bit himself....she curtsied and said, "Forgive me Sire I am but an ignorant girl who maketh wine. The horse's hoof made me forget my place.".......again she looked to her hand that pressed her shoulder.....she had only seen blood like that when last her mother gave birth and she as well as the baby boy died....
....despite her best effortts to be strong she fainted into a pile of skirts.

'God's Wounds!' he thought, 'She's fainted!' With an athletic bound, he left Pommers back, and ran to the side of the now-still body. He raised her arms and began to raise her and chafe her wrists. Edwin remembered something that his nurse had taught him, and started to loosen the strings of the girl's bodice. The young man stopped after the first string, as he found that he had revealed an expanse of firm and high bosom, which caused his breath to catch in his throat........

Who was this girl? Ah! Yes, now he remembered. She was the daughter of a small merchant who owned one of the last vinyards in the south of the county. The grape crops had been getting smaller and sourer each year, though (his father likened the white wine they made to bad vinegar, and had to mix it with honey), and it was rumoured that the girl's father was thinking of importing some wine from the French port of Bordeaux, for the nobles and the clergy loved the new 'claret'.

Edwin did the only thing he could do...he placed the lifeless body of the girl over Pommer's saddle, and began to walk the grey towards the distant village and her home (he had been to the merchant's house cum warehouse several times to buy barrels of wine for his father's household).

The girl's hair hung down, and her green dress rode up, revealing a pretty set of ankles. The sun was just breaking behind the eastern woods, and small groups of peasants were leaving their huts on their way to the fields, as Edwin approached the merchant's house. Now HERE was a pretty mess, he thought...

.......before Edwin could think of what he might say ...... the merchant's door swang open ...... one would be hard pressed to see who was more shocked .....
Elizabeth's father or Edwin ...... both jumped back a bit, respectively......
Richard, of Molnar had been making wine for the royales since he was a boy and had seen warring, death and happieness as well ...... but his heart sank as he saw the dark blood that dripped from the end of his only beloved daughter's fingertips........as he rushed to beat the man that was bold enough to bring his daughter's body back in such condition!!! ........he cared not of himself ..........he would kill the man who disgraced or more than not killed his lovely Elizabeth ......so like her sweet mother before her.......the men making barrels grabbed Richard just in time to stop him from bringing a small stool down on Edwin's skull~........ or at least as close to his skull as Edwin would allow the old man........
Elizabeth stirred.....

Edwin stood his ground as the merchant rushed towards him....instinctively, his hand went across his body to grasp the hilt of his blade. He had been schooled since childhood in the use of arms, but recognised that there was great peril in this situation. If the merchant assaulted him, his father would see him hung before nightfall. Yet, he had to defend himself..........three of the coopers were struggling with their master, when suddenly a bloody hand rose between the two figures!

'Hold, father! By the bones of St Agnes, would you strike down the man who saved my life? The quavering voice stopped Elizabeth's father dead in his tracks, and his hands reached out towards his daughter. 'Sweeting! Lovekin! What's amiss? Cutpurses, landless men?' 'No, father. Stupidly, I fell and sorely hurt myself. I must have lost my senses. This young nobleman found me...........'

Ashamed, the older man made a knee, then gathered himself. 'Forgive me, 'tis young Goodwinson is it not?. I must sent for the leech and the priest. We must see to our daughter!'

.......Edwin gave a nod and the men hurriedly took their 'Beth' into the cottage.
.......The mid wife was first to arrive.....the news had spread like a fire gone wild for Elizabeth was known by one and all for her kindness as well as the sound of her laughter which at times echoed in the caves where they aged the wines. No man would soberly speak it but Beth could tap a keg as swiftly as any man from the vineyards......When Richard saw the mid wife his throat fell to his gut like a man falling from a high cliff with nothing but abyss below. He had managed to avoid this woman since the night she killed his wife and son.
.........Are you here to kill my daughter? Take your black magic and be gone!
........The woman tossed a basket of moss toward Beth's father and ran away crying......the moss would be needed to hold the leaches and keep the blood back.......Richard kicked the basket hard and returned to his daughter's side.

Father, the basket! .......What of it? I want nothing of the mid wife's in my house! Never again I say!.......No father, the basket! The one mother made....
the last one she ever made......I left it in the woods......I must go fetch it back straight away! I must!......she sat only half way up before she again fainted.

........in her pained sleep she called out.....but to whom.?....what name stayed beneath her voice?.........

The wine merchant was in a terrible position, and he knew it. He had a towering temper towards everyone save his beloved daughter, but now he must rely on others to save her, for he had no skills which would help. Ned, one of his coopers, slid into the room, and knuckled his forelock, 'Master, if you please, my goodwife is able to heal a little. She helped Dennis of York when he broke his leg last year, and looked to die.' Richard spun round - 'Go get her, man, and there will be a silver groat for you, if she be skilled!'

Edwin had leaned against the foot of the huge bed where Elizabeth had been laid. He noted the wool covers, woven in Flanders from fine English wool, and the expensive wall hangings. Surely, he thought, the merchant must be doing well. An old maidservant rushed in, 'Master, the p...', and was elbowed to one side as a ruddy-faced round ball of a priest thrust himself into the room. 'Ah! It is as I was told; now, what goes forward here? Is the fair maid hurt? And what is young Master Goodwinson to do with all this?'

Edwin inclined his head to the priest, but said nothing, he had little enough to do with Mother Church, save on high holy days, but wondered what hold the priest had over the family............he looked down again at the beautiful form on the bed, and realised that he cared more and more for the girl.......

........Ned's wife Mary rushed into the room....her round face flushed from the run and her bonnet laying across her back exposing the grey hair of one who has seen much of life.....with hands on hips she ordered all men leave the room! ......As Edwin stood transfixed at the maid on the bed.....watching her bosom rise and fall.....he heard not the woman.....when next he knew Mary was reaching high to tap his shoulder.....Edwin blinked back into the moment, looked down and barked..."WHAT NOW?!" .......poor Mary took a step back nearly knocking over the Holyman.....she turned, startled......"All men must leave this room at once! Looking sternly at Sir Edwin she shook her finger at him in much the same manner his nurse would when he misbehaved as a child....he let out a bit of a sigh....tilted his head and said,"Yes, well......." Mary shouted, "Would you let die the maid Beth? Why bring her to....." Edwin took long strides brushing against the Priest on his way through the door. They spoke not but many thoughts passed between the two....on the way out the door to the square Edwin heard sounds of words ...... prayer words ......
a knot hit his throat.....what if the maid be dead? or dying......he never noticed the maid holding a cup of water from the well.....nor did he listen as a man offered him lodging......he did take heart of the blood down the side of his horse.....the knot in his throat went tighter.....his jaw clinched.....sunlight shone from the gold braiding of his coats......what World had he just entered?????

'Master! Master Edwin!' The rough voice brought him back to reality, as a hugh mountain of a man, dressed in a brigandine, the coat of small armour plates riveted to a cloth cover which distinguished the man-at-arms, and wearing a scabbard containing a massive two-handed sword, walked into the courtyard. 'Praise be! Your father's had every man in the household out all night looking for you. I dare say some are almost to Ringwood by now! He's exceedingly wroth, youmg master. It wasn't 'til I saw Pommers through the open gate that I knew you were safe.' The giant turned to a little archer, who had a yew longbow strapped to his back. 'Run home, Tomkin.......straight to the Master. John of Derby's compliments, and the young Master is found safe and is with me. Off with you, now!'

As the Lord's chief fighting man turned to face Edwin again, he opened his mouth to speak - but never had a chance to utter a sound, for in a whirl of petticoat and aprons, Mary the 'good woman' ran into the courtyard and barked at Edwin. 'You! I don't know why in heaven's name my young mistress wants you, but you must come to see her - now!' As John took a stride to follow his charge into the house, she stopped him dead in his tracks. 'As for you, you great lummocks, you can stay here and mind that horse!' John was utterly stunned, and could only watch the door slam in his face.....what was the young master doing? With a maid, in God's name..........his father would throw a fit!

.......walking in a dream like state Edwin neared Elizabeth's room......door wide open he took note she was dabbing tears from her face......he thought to himself; what great hurt she must be in.....damning himself for paining her so
he stepped into the room.....again taking note of the large wall hangings.....one reminded him of something but he could remember not with his mind in this newly found type of fog.....

You wished to speak with me?.....he heard the words but they did not sound his own.....perhaps his voice was tired from....from.....all he could think was: by the gods she is the most lovely creature he had ever laid eyes upon......

.....Beth reached out and took hold of his massive fingers....pulling him closer......she looked from the corner of her eyes to find the priest standing with a lean toward her door.....please.....will you favor me by coming close so my voice has but a short way to your ear? I feel rather weak.........Edwin took her lead and pretended not to know the priest was trying to listen.....as Edwin went down on bended knee......he leaned in close to the maid's lips......when she spoke her warm breath touched his ear making him glad he was already on knee.....but the knot in his throat.....when their eyes met.....the feeling was much the same as the first time Pommers cleared a jump that made all others fall....what was she saying???? .....thanking him rather loudly until the preist was called away by her father asking for a mass to be held for all to pray Beth be well......

She spoke quickly with much passion in her voice.....pray forgive my lack of propriety but your very life is in danger.....think me not out of my head.....I have never thought more clearly than in this moment~! When Mary was starting to tend me she noticed my bodice had already been undone.....there was no blush in her face as she spoke these words.....perhaps the loss of blood.....Edwin yelled inside his mind.....listen to her words you fool.....stop looking at her and never mind the smell of flowers that seemingly came from her hair....listen up man~! there is something amiss.....She was saying.....and when Father Peganni thought I was in a faint he gave Ned a silver coin, instructing him to go speak with Chaz the Slayer! The Slayer came with the priest and our family from Romania when I was but a young child. Priest has all but a small bit of my father's money....I know not what hold he has over my father but before my mother took her last breath she bid me never trust Peganni~! He was head clergy in Castle Molnar. And the Slayer....she spoke even softer now.....sitting up as much as she was able... to put her lips nearer Edwin....please~! they plan to murder you! The priest says you've spoiled me~! That's when I heard him tell Ned tis a secret no man is to speak. ......her voice cracked a bit as she said these next words.....father has a shipment of a new wine for the house of your father....it's coming from France.....with the wine cometh Count Molnar. His wife died last year and he wants a mother for his young sons. I am to be that mother.....a hot tear welled up in her eye and spilled down her face.....
If only I could be certain you will live long......her voice trailed.....again she tightened her grip on the nobleman.....she pressed a crucifix into Edwin's hand......it was bejewled with stones he had never seen....set in silver with a bit of silver sticking out from the side.....when he pressed the silver bit the back of the cross opened to reveal a lock of hair....and what looked to be a small, dried flower petal.....Elizabeth hurridly snapped the crucifix closed....
......warm words again fell upon his ear......Would that this will keep you safe~!
But if you are ever in such dire straights as to have the want to end all pain.....
I cannot bare to think it.....but if these bad men are able to take your father's house.....you will surely be put to death in a horrible manner! I cannot bare to think it....she repeated as tears now ran down her pale face....if you place the petal under your tongue you will be ......you will join your ancesters before a dove can sound a coo. Mother made this poison strong enough to kill a horse much larger than the one you carried me home upon.
You will know the Slayer at first glance.....'tis a giant of a man....a scar runs the length of the right side of his face....oh....would that I could protect you.....!!!!

Edwin brushed a tear from her cheek. Her face was hot but her hand was cold as water from the mountain spring.....

Edwin's head span......he looked into the gir's eyes, and saw stark terror there. 'Fear not....sweeting (at this last, he did blush). I shall go with my man at arms to my father's house, and tell all. He is wise, and knoweth far more than I in the ways of the world. Swiftly he rose from the beautiful girl's side, and glanced down at her form, lying there....pulses racing, he fastened the silver cross around his neck, and saw her smile. The knowledge that there were evildoers afoot, and foreigners at that, made his blood run cold.

Turning at the door, he said, 'There may be bloodshed before all this is finished, but I swear, you WILL be mine!' Elizabeth gasped.......but realized that the words rang true.

Running down the stairs two at time, he burst into the courtyard. John of Derby was talking to a pretty maid of the household. 'John - where's your horse?' 'Tied outside, young master, why?' Let us ride as swift as may be to my father......there is much to tell him.'

Pommer's hooves pounded the stoney lane down to the ford, with the bay mare of John o'Derby struggling to keep up. 'Why so swift, Master?' yelled the man at arms. 'There's a plot by the foreigners in that village, and the strange priest they bought with them. It concerns us all, John..........

They galloped on towards home and safety, and John o'Derby's face grew black like cold iron as the plot unfolded from his young master's lips.

......the woman Mary was unable to stop the blood loss from Beth's wound....
surely she was marked for death......her father was breaking precious keepsakes as he cursed God for allowing such a cruel joke as this.....all were at Mass 'cept he and Mary who stayed by Beth's side dabbing her face with cool water.....she had done all she could......
A man new to the Village came to the door pounding......his name no one knew.....just that he kept to himself in a small sod house he'd built just before the Winter storms of the past year had begun....thinking it be the preist Elizabeth's father called out, "Enter!" with the roar of a mountain lion....he was of a wild mind.....swearing to God he would go with his daughter should she go to join her mother.....and his only son.....as he bowed his head.....not to pray but to keep whomever approached from seeing the tears that streaked his lined face.....the face of a man who had already been through much....when he looked up he saw the odd man.....the man everyone called
The Monk....for the robes he always wore....."What business have you here Monk?! Know you not my daughter......" he could not say the words.......
The man spoke......it was the first time his voice had been heard....he was thought to be mute......out came his saber......Beth's father leapt to his feet heading for the sacber which rested above the hearth..."Hold tight man!" said the monk.....I know a way to stop the blood .....I learned in battle with the....he stopped speaking and put his blade into the fire......

The thunder of horses' hooves as they crashed over the planks of the drawbridge, which lay over the moat, and into the courtyard at Whitney Manor, roused the whole household. Edwin and John o' Derby barely had time to dismount before the Lord of the Manor, Egbert of Whitney strode out to meet them. Straight as the arrows of his archers, he was still an impressive figure of a man at 46. His face was set in a cold mask as he addressed his only child, however. 'You, sirrah! What do you mean by spending the night the night out in the wild, and sending your poor mother near to her grave with worry?' Edwin glanced over at his father's man at arms, but John had pursed his lips and was carefully examining his scabbard. It would seem that he was on his own here......

'Father! Forgive me, I should go straightway to my Lady Mother and reassure her - but I have words of such import that I beg that we repair to the chapel, where I will make all plain.' The older man made a 'hurrmp' noise in his throat, but lead the way towards the tiny family chapel, tucked away in a corner of the courtyard.

Once inside he rounded on his wayward son, his mane of white hair flying wide. 'NOW, boy! For all that you are of the line of the House of Alfred of Wessex, don't think that you are too high and mighty and too old for a whipping! I'll not have my Lady, your Mother, left weeping in abject fear that you are taken for ransom or worse. SPEAK!' This last was barked as an order, and Edwin found himself spilling the tall tale of the night's happenings and the morning's doings to his father. An outside observer would have seen a whole range of emotions chasing across the scarred face of the old warrior as the story of intrigue unfolded. 'So, we face an unknown foe, a possible assassin, some new-come foreigners, and a schemeing wine merchant, eh? A pretty mess you have brought to table young man. Still there is one advantage. That village is still on MY land, and I have rights which I will use. As for the threats against us, why we will do what our ancestors always did. Ride out to meet them!'

Whilst he had been talking he had lead them both back into the bright, sunlit courtyard. 'John! he bellowed. 'Sire?' siad the man at arms, wiping his moustache on his sleeve and putting down a beaker of ale. 'Rouse the archers, man the defences, and get me my harness and saddle Stormbringer. We ride within the hour!' Having set the manor buzzing like an upset nest of hornets, the Lord turned to his son and said, calmly, 'You had better go and make your peace with your Mother. Give her my respects, and tell her we have a little business to conduct. She'll be safe here, the drawbridge will be up, and I'm going to leave 8 archers behind under old Baldwin. He can still swing a battleaxe, despite his lame leg.'

Edwin found his Mother in her chambers, and the smile which broke out on her sweet face was instantly wiped away by his demeanour. He thought to himself, 'Where do I begin? What do I say? That I have fallen in love with a maid of lowly birth? That she is in mortal danger, and I have imperilled the whole household by my rashness?............

..........by the time Edwin returns to check on Elizabeth he is told she has died from her injury and taken away by the preiest and some of his men..........

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