h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi, Aaron!

I don't think we've ever met online, so I guess I should introduce myself -- I'm Mikey the Humming Mouse. Nice to meet you.

I just thought I'd stop by to let you know that some of your comments on the "Lifetime Suspension" thread have inadvertently hurt a lot of people. I'm sure that wasn't your intent - you were trying to calm people down, which was an admirable intention.

Unfortunately, the way you worded some of your comments (such as "it's not worth getting upset about") came across to many as you telling them how they should feel. Those who became close to LeKZ on h2g2 *are* going to be upset and grieve her leaving, even if it was her own actions that brought it all about. When upset people are told that they don't have the right to be upset, it often simply magnifies their pain/anger/etc. The fact that you made these postings repeatedly and in a semi-authoritarian manner (i.e., "STOP. STOP. STOP.") further exacerbated the problem.

If you want an example of how to more effectively calm people down, observe Colonel Sellers -- he's had a lot of experience here. He makes it clear in his remarks that he has a good understanding of both sides of the situation - equally important, he is well-known and respected by those on both sides of the situation, so people are more willing to listen to him. He doesn't give people orders, but rather encourages them to take a more balanced look at the situation.

While he would probably like people to just drop the issue and "get back to business", he knows that isn't a realistic expectation. When feelings get built up to that intense of a level, they generally need to be brought back down slowly. (Knowing Colonel Sellers, he would probably think of this as an analogy to the American Revolution. When the American people first started getting feisty under British rule, a calm and conciliatory approach by the British rulers might have helped appease things. However, the sharp message from the British of "Stop this stuff and nonsense immediately!" incited the people to revolt.)

Anyways, this message is definitely *not* intended as a rant against you. I can tell you meant well, and I'm sure you'll make a great ACE. This just seemed like a situation where some feedback now might help some things down the road.

later!
Mikey

Well, Mike
Not real sure how to take your comment. But I think you suppose to much about me. If you had bothered to ask me my feelings on the Arpeggio thing, or even read the post more than once, you will notice taht I, in a way, admired Arpeggio's work, and even moreover admire the work of those that left here. I already have spoken to some aces about how much this is a tragedy and how we are losing valuable people. This isn't worth getting upset about. . .she got banned from here, but life for her is fruitful on the sister site n2g2. But the ensuing comments are fanning the fire of the issue and that is not necessary. . .


Now let me press the rewind button for you. . .as an ACE I have gone around and welcomed alot of newbies. . and I offer them my email addy so that they can reach me if something is bothering them or that have a ?. . .well, I can count 5 different people put off by this whole thing. . .and potentially valuable individuals have had their own opinion and summarily left the site for good bc of Arpeggios comments or this whole issue past to present. . .Alot more is happening here than just my own "authoritarian" retorts as you put it. . .and while Colonel Sellers may have the diplomatic skills taht I don't. . .I assure you that these postings are a plea and not a command. . .but much of what is being said here in this mentioned thread is bad and bad and more bad. . .it needs to stop. . .it is hurting alot of the people here. . now those close to LeKz (who I know little about) maybe feeling that my comments are authoritarian and intrusive and aggressive, and if they feel that way hey there is nothing I can do about it. . .but I WILL NOT entertain remarks made that are potentially hurtful to others and that is what this thread is accomplishing.

THe offline conversations I have had with other ACE's are all in aggreement to what I have said. . .so if I hurt oyur feelings I offer an apology. . will I retract what I said. No.

THis issue needs to die and die quickly, further discussion on it is not healthy for anyone here. This forum is about fun and the free exchange of ideas within the bounds of moderation. . .the rules were broken and the punishment laid. . .lets get on with things. . .

And if you want to know another little "FYI." I stepped up before she was eliminated to get help for her. . even talking with ACE's close to her. . .to highlight the pattern and put it out before she was kicked off. . I wanted to see her here on this forum for I believe her to be someone with a lot to offer. . .

In short Mike, I am a little put off by what you said. Don't suppose my intent before you have asked me about it. . .you post wasn't seen as a rant, but more of an attack against someone who would like to see this just go away and get on with the research gig. . .

First, it's worth pointing out that my name is Mikey, not Mike. I'm female.

I'm not sure what you mean when you say that I suppose to much about you. The only thing I "supposed" was that you meant well in your comments -- if that was not the case, then there's not much sense in a conversation.

The other things that I pointed out were largely facts. You made comments on the thread that upset and offended multiple people. I thought it would be worthwhile to let you know, as I made the charitable assumption that you're a nice guy and that you weren't intentionally trying to upset people. There were several people making posts in that thread that were trying to calm people down (some more effective than others), yet you were the only one that was consistently offending people. To me, this means that it is clearly possible to make "please calm down" kinds of remarks without being offensive. I would think that, especially as an ACE, this would be the kind of information you would like to know.

Again, you're saying that this "isn't worth getting upset about". As a part of *any* community, you need to understand that it is not for you to decide how people should feel.

I'm not saying that nothing here is happening besides your comments -- I have a feeling that I may be more aware of all that's gone on than you have. The point of my message was not to debate whether or not this issue was a problem, or whether or not the debate was a problem for h2g2 -- the point of my message was simply to let you know that a) your messages were upsetting and offending people, and b) that it is possible to get people to calm down, etc., without being offensive.

You say that the ACEs all agree with what you said, but you need to realize that the ACEs do not speak for the entire community, by any speck of the imagination. I'm a subeditor, guru, scout, and uni field researcher, and neither do any of those groups speak for the community. Being an ACE does not give you the right to dictate what people can and cannot talk about on h2g2 (as long as the conversation doesn't break house rules), nor does it give you the right to tell people what they can and cannot be upset about -- *even* if you think that your opinion is for the good of the h2g2 community.

Mikey

and. . .

you see my comments as offensive. . .others don't. . .and the great thing about this medium is that we can freely put these opinions out. . .

You say that there are ways to not be offensive (though I don't see mine as such). But there are many ways to interpret my postings and I have posted an apology to those I might have offended. But I still won't retract my statement as it is too late and this thread has definetly taken a turn and it is increasingly militant.

So, Mikey, your second accosting is unappreciated. That is my opinion.

Aaron said: "and the great thing about this medium is that we can freely put these opinions out. . ."

I find it interesting that you say this, because your postings were telling those on the thread that they *shouldn't* be posting their opinions, because you didn't think they were important or worth talking about.

However, I should also add that your recent posting on the thread was greatly appreciated. I've already received several emails from people letting me know that it's soothed some ruffled feathers and whatnot. So thank you for that.

And now I think I'll take my leave of your page, as I don't know that either of us have much to gain from continuing this conversation. Feel free to drop my page if you want to talk about it later, though.

Mikey

I have been to your page. . .it is quite good. ..and am actually ikn the middle of starting a more "entertaining" conversation with you. . .you are gifted and I like what you have to offer

But to revisit this particular thread. . .I know you had the best of intentions to say what you originally said. . .but I interpretted it differently. . .which was far from your intent I know, but it did bite. . .this is the same thing that happened on the other thread. . .my intention is good, and if you want to voice the opinion of the expulsion fine. . .but the aggressiveness with which people are sending salvos at each other is not cool at all. . .Opinions voiced is one thing, but the manner in which it is done is where I question the necessity of them.