h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Cold War Games

Posted Mar 22, 2001

Russian River

A girlfriend and I invented the game of "Russian River" sometime in the early 1960's. We were cold war kids living in the booming San Jose, California area. The subdivision we lived in was new, carved from the dwindling orchards of twisted fruit and nut trees that hadn't yet been razed for the next housing tract, school, or strip shopping center. The game was played in a sprawling old orchard that marked the upper boundary of our neighborhood. A small, two-story frame house was nestled in the middle of the trees, and we developed a series of stories about the lady who lived in the house, or who did at one time before any number of things happened to her. But the house and its mysterious inhabitant offered no threat as long as we only visited the orchard during the day. The house merely served as a picturesque backdrop for the real focus of the orchard: a shallow gully that wound through the trees, yielding an occasional stream or bed of mud depending on the rare precipitation in the area. This was no ordinary gully and no ordinary orchard - this was the site of the Russian River, a crucial cold war battleground on the home front.
It was common knowledge that Russian spies were everywhere, seeking out the weak and the vulnerable, constantly on the alert to gain a foothold on American soil. The orchard was an obvious choice for the Russians - it offered endless opportunities for hiding troops in the midst of the nation's most powerful military area. After all, it was also common knowledge that when the Russians mounted their first strike they were going to hit the San Jose area first in that this would be the most crushing blow they could deliver anywhere on the continent. A number of fathers with military connections had confirmed this.
The basic game was simple. We jumped over the river, and if we fell in, the Russians got us. There was often discussion about how high the Russians could jump up in an effort to grab an ankle, this being dependent on the condition of the river. For instance, the Russians couldn't jump very high in muddy conditions, but a dry river bed gave them a better spring. As the game progressed, plain jumps over the river lost their appeal, and variations were incorporated into the game with each new sessions. Some jumps were made from longer distances, over wider parts of the river, or carrying someone's (critically injured) little brother or sister on our backs.
We felt safe in the orchard despite the obvious danger of facing the Russian Army by ourselves. If we fell in the river, which happened only occasionally to keep the Russians alert, we would be rescued. The rescue might involve a bold brute-force escape with possible loss of life or more probably, an intricate plan to trick the Russians into letting down their guard. The Russians were easily outwitted If a larger war broke out as a result of our skirmishes, we were confident that our fathers would be called up immediately and deal with the Russians just as they had earlier whipped the Germans and the Japanese.
In another part of the orchard we built our own air-raid shelter, just in case the Russians launched a few missiles before we annihilated them in return. Though we were confident that victory would come quickly, we stocked our bunker with a good supply of non-perishable food staples that our mothers either donated or didn't miss, as well as flashlights, Barbies, and transistor radios. Bunker rules were well know to all children who experienced the duck-and-cover drills in the schools of the 1960's, and we could solemnly recite the procedures that would ensure our comfortable survival.
Our Russian River childhood felt safe and secure. Through children's eyes we could easily identify the enemy; engage them in combat, trick them, conquer them. Though the Russians were camped in our orchard, they came from far away. When we finally prevailed, as the United States always did, they would be blown off our continent. So why, now that we have prevailed, do our children not feel safe and secure?
Today's children can still find a piece of land with a meandering river, still play jumping games, still picture hands reaching out to grab a vulnerable ankle. But what would the river be called today, and who would be in it? The river of drug dealers, serial killers, child abusers, neighbors, babysitters, strangers? The bad guys are hard to spot, and hard to isolate in a river these days. They no longer come from across the ocean, but live in our neighborhoods.
I sure do miss those Russians. It was so easy to confine them to a river and laugh as we soared over them. But the confident child of the cold war is today's parent, and I can't let my children play by themselves in an abandoned orchard. So how are these kids going to know how to win a war?

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Latest reply: Mar 22, 2001