h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was attracted to read your site when I saw your quotation of different drummer. I certainly march to the beat of a different drummer, so I was interested. I read all your journal entries and the bits about charity shops and de-junking etc. etc. are exactly what I put on my journal, before I read yours - am I making sense?
Probably not. Did you move? Do you believe in the parallel universe? Do you believe in anything? Do you believe I exist?
Come to that, do I believe I exist?
Write soon

Hiya Granny. Have some and
I see what you mean about your journal. Perhaps it's our age
(How old are you anyway?)

The quotation led you to read on but what convoluted path got you here in the first place? I've had a look at your page and there's no evidence that you've been anywhere where you could have bumped into me - though of course if you're a newbie you're probably lurking, wondering whether to jump in (Like wot I did) .

You're making more sense than I ever do .

I don't move for another 3 weeks . Mind you we haven't actually signed contracts yet so anything can (and probably will) happen. Of course I believe in the multiverse. Doesn't everyone? Not sure whether I believe you exist though. You're probably just a figment of my imagination - just like all these other people. Come to that I'm just a figment of my imagination too, so where does that leave us?

Still'n'all - as long as you're not related to Silent Lucidity we should get on fine. (Don't worry - you couldn't possibly be expected to undertstand that unless you were that person (who has been known to target others, posing as someone they'd very much like to become better aquainted with .) Assuming you're not you're very welcome.

If your reason for having few friends is shyness why not follow this link (er, hang on a minute while I try to remember how to make a link <seniormomentsmiley&gt: S.H.A.D.O.W. at A811810
and you'll find several very nice people very similar to thee and me (or you could just take the direct route by looking at my 'Friends' list, clicking on people's names and toddling over to have a look at their pages). This place is extremely informal - if you're reading a conversation and you feel you'd like to say summat just jump in. No-one minds at all. You'll be welcomed with open arms. We're almost all here for the same reasons you are you see.

I'm looking forward to getting to know you. Unfortunately I'm only on here intermittently at the moment (shouldn't really be here at all ) but that shouldn't last for much longer (ah, the best laid plans of and (wo)men...)

Have fun.

Hi Tefkat

I'm not sure you will want to know how I bumped into you! I was clicking about as a newbie and came across the "Who's online" list. I scanned down it and saw SHADOW - that was the name of my much loved but now deceased border collie. Being completely new to it all I thought that might be an omen and hey presto! there you were!

How old am I? Old enough to be a Granny, but young enough to still have to work for my living (unfortunately). I am a member of the "bulge years", the post-war babies that came thick and fast after de-mob from the forces.

This fact dogged me throughout my life. Longer queues at the new NHS clinics, extra classrooms in the playground to accommodate us, an extra year added to the senior school to accommodate us and now a plethora of old peoples housing rising in all areas to accommodate us in our dotage. I think that probably makes me about 56. Does that put you off getting to know me.

How about you? You mentioned children, but not their ages, but I am interested.

Now then, "Wheeliebins and dustmen - you're a Brit aren't you" it has suddenly occurred to me, this internet bit goes all over the world doesn't it (yes I can be slow at times), so does that mean you are somewhere else on this mortal coil - somewhere else other than Britain that is? Wow!

My lack of friends is not due to shyness, but due to lack of maintenance on my part. My husband left me when the girls were 3 and 5 and I decided that I would not look for someone else, but concentrate on giving the girls a secure life. Although the ex maintained us quite well, I had to make up the shortfall and did all I could by working from home, sometimes 24/7.

This did not leave a lot of time to maintain friendships, and many of them gave up on me and built their own lives and families without me. My Mum and my sister did the same. Now that the girls are grown up and married most of my contemporaries have got plans for retirement and we have nothing in common any more. My job is a 6-night week affair, so I still do not have much social time, but despite all this I am happy with my girls and my grandchildren and the one or two friends I have got, but I do enjoy writing things down and this medium seems to be good for me.

I have drivelled on enough and it's all getting far too serious. I hope your move goes well and if what you have read above does not put you off, I would like to hear from you again.

I will take up your offer of the S.H.A.D.O.W. link too

How do you transfer the smilies to these pages, I am intrigued.

Take care.

Cue Twilight Zone theme tune . I have a border collie . Poor Granny. Has it been long? Do you miss her terribly?

Excuse me! Enough of the "thick" . "Fast" sounds OK though . I'm old enough to be a Granny, but young enough to still have to work for my living too, except that I'm currently too decrepit to work (but I'm sure that will change eventually). 56ish huh? One foot in the grave and the other on a banana skin. I'm more than a decade younger than you Bifocals and SAGA

Children? Oh well - 24 down to 10. Frightening isn't it? How old are your grandbairns? Mine are, 4¾, 4 and 2.

No, I'm in Britain - it's nice to find another one.

Your story sounds very similar to mine. It is hard to maintain friendships when you're a single parent with a full time job isn't it?
I made matters even worse by moving 300+ miles (and then moving another 30 miles 7 years later, away from my new friends ). Now I'm married to the most wonderful man in the world, but he's painfully shy and I can't really go out without him because he finds it hard to sleep if I'm not around so friends tend to be those who don't mind being neglected for long periods and the lovely people I've met online.
I do hope you're going to become one. You seem very 'nice' (hehehe, we had a teacher, when I was 10-11, who used to rant and rave if we ever used that word in an essay).

The smileys are aren't they? You make them by using the pointy brackets on the bottom row (to the right of "M") < and > with words between them. If you let your pointer hover over one of the smileys in a post a little box will appear to tell you what word you should put in. For example is < bat > (without the spaces), < cat >, < dog > etc.
You can also click on any smiley and it will take you to the smiley page (or try this link: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/Smiley#winkeye ) or, when you hit "reply", you'll find a set of 24 of the most commonly used ones under the message box (beside "Preview" and "Post Message"), which you can insert into your text by simply clicking.

One of the most useful smileys, in my opinion, is < space >, because the software will only put one space between each word, no matter how many you leave, but < space > lets you add as many as you like .

Better go and tidy up for the sleepover. I'm bringing some of the little home from school ('cos they live up to 20 miles away) and at the moment there isn't even a spare square inch on the kitchen table and Hubby's tools are all over the dining table

Whoa, Tefkat, that was a bit of a roller coaster set of messages.

I answered your question about global location, and then read the above message. I was about to reply but decided to read "Oh dear god" first and was bowled over.

We (all) know so little of each others lives and what has gone before to make us what we are now. Are you all right? I presume this is a son from a previous marriage, and an adult. I cannot begin to believe what it is like to be threatened by your own child, terrifying seems too small a word. You say his speech was slurred, was he drunk and this is just a passing phase, or is this a regular occurrence? You don't have to answer any of this, I am not being nosey, I am just concerned for you.



Yes, I do miss my border Collie - she died 5 years ago now, but I went on holiday to Cornwall 2 years ago, and somehow came back with another border collie pup who is now ENORMOUS, very sloppy and very large (Shadow was only about cocker spaniel size). Her name is Mistral and we are devoted to each other, but Shadow was very special and I will always miss her.

In my haste to reply to you concerning your horrible phone call, I have not had time to practice smileys but will try and produce some next time.

Take care, Tefkat, and hang in there, us Universal Grannies have their
uses, and broad shoulders to cry on is only one attribute! More about grandchildren etc. when I next write. Let me know you are all right.

Thanks for your concern Granny. It's alright - this is a regular occurrence. I stopped answering the phone years ago because he rings his Gran whenever he wants money or bailing out of something (regularly) and if I answer I get full blast of the amateur dramatics.
The trouble is we're moving (to get away from him actually ) so I asked BT for that 1571 thingy so we wouldn't miss any important calls (because Mum gives us messages days, or even weeks, late if at all)and when the phone rang yesterday I thought it might have been one of the parents of the sleepover children.
All his life his gran has jumped every time he says "jump" so the fact that he left a message on thursday and she hadn't immediately phoned him back meant I was obviously at fault () so he dcided to leave me a nice long vitriolic spiel. I'm still trembling and the stress has done awful things to my stomach as usual, but apart from that I'm OK.

I'm more worried about my daughter because I heard Mum giving him her address a couple of weeks ago (against her express wishes of course...) and she has small children to worry about.
Mine get very scared when he comes here and starts causing trouble but after last time, when he hawked and spat disgustingly all over my face, they have instructions to lock their bedroom doors (Hubby fitted locks to all our doors last summer to keep him out) and get into the van immediately so we can go and stay on a caravn site or take them to friends till he leaves.

All we need is another 4 weeks and we'll be gone from here, with the buyers given instructions not to reveal our whereabouts.

I think I know how you feel about Shadow. I once had a marvellous dog. The Dog of dogs. No animal will ever replace him and I still miss him 13 years on.

Hi Tefkat,

How goes it? Bank Holiday weekend OK? Still interested in the grandchildren (mine that is?) If you are, then they are 4, 2 & 1, which is not dissimilar to you. The 4 & 2 year old belong to my eldest daughter and the 1 year old to my youngest. The four year old is a girl and very "with it", the two boys are exactly a year apart barring 2 days. They live in the same road as each other and about half a mile from me, and my eldest daughter is a qualified childminder. My youngest has had to go back to work (mortgage to feed etc. etc.), so the eldest childminds her nephew, who is very happy to be growing up with his cousins.

Does all that make sense? I am surprised if it does. I have had a whole weekend "grannying" and I'm glad to be back at work for a rest!
I work nights (not sure if I told you that) so most of my postings are done then, on the office computer, because it is much faster than my own decrepit, re-conditioned, third-hand model.

I hope your move comes about quickly, so that you can get away from your awful situation - oh by the way how's that?

Will you go back on line as soon as you have moved? I hope so, I enjoy hearing from you.

Must go now, work to be done (unfortunately) - chaps getting restless because supervisor is glued to computer - who me? Computer? No never touch the thing!!

Take care
Universal Granny

Hi Tefkat

Thought I'd revive this posting to take the opportunity of wishing you a happy holiday.

I am not getting a holiday this year, but I am taking myself and a friend off to Poole in Dorset for the day on Sunday just to get a sniff of the sea and perhaps wander around Poole pottery.

Wilma and Betty (daughters) taking it in turns to dog sit, so we can be out for the longest possible time.

I took Pebbles (4 year old granddaughter) out with me today to get the poodle's hair cut. We went to the local garden centre for lunch while said poodle was being given the lawnmower treatment, and she selected a children's box lunch (sandwich, crisps, orange, Kit-Kat) and a diet coke to drink, whilst I settle for a round of sandwiches and a coffee. Comfortably settled at table and I am fixed with a steely gaze:

"Granny..... are you going to die soon?"

"Well, I will die eventually, but I hope it's not too soon."

"Oh, I was just wondering if I should ask to swap this ham sandwich for your egg mayonnaise one now, or wait for you to die so that I can have it without asking."

For the first time Bam-Bam (2 years) was aware that his sister was going out with Granny and he wasn't included. Before, he has been easily distracted and not really comprehending what was going on - not any more. He would not come out and see me when Pebbles went, and refused to eat the rest of his lunch. He did not cry, I gather, but just looked very sad.

I bought him a monkey! I felt so guilty! A long-armed velcro-fixed monkey, which, by the look he gave me when I presented it to him, was only just about enough!

I said I'd take him next time, but boy is he a different kettle of fish to his sister. I shall need my running shoes to keep up with him!

Anyway, enough Granny talk, (do I know anything else?) and once again have a great holiday in Coniston. Hope the sun appears for you and that all the family have a good time exploring caves and throwing stones.

for the journey, because I know the last lot I gave you for the journey will already have been eaten!

Take care
love Universal Granny xxx

I didn't expect a reply to last posting because I knew you would probably have already left for holiday.... so now I am popping up again to say "Welcome back" because I shall not be on-line again until Sunday night and I presume you will be back before then, so.....

Welcome back!



I hope you had a great time in Coniston, and you are all rested.

Follow-up to Pebbles conversation as per above posting: "I don't want you to die until I do Granny, then you can pick me up in the car and we can go together." Her little mind's racing on this death thing!

Take care
Universal Granny xxx

Aaaaaah.

My 12 year old has had one of those fixations for about 3 years now. Whenever my mother went away for months at a time (after telling us she'd be back in a few weeks) he would say "Is Granny dead and you're not telling us?" Strange child. (But then just look at his parentage...)

You've reminded me of a really cute photo I have of my second son in one of those furry nightsuits with the feet and his long armed velcro monkey hanging round his neck, taken about 21 years ago - before he plucked it to death (He used to pluck the fur out. After Monkey he had a "plucking teddy" and then a "plucking blanket" (his names). We got some very odd looks whenever he said "Where's my plucking teddy?" )

Must go and find the photo...

Tefkat, you're lovely, you really make me laugh! It's so good to have you back!

Take care,

Universal Granny

Hi Tefkat,

Just thought I'd wish you good luck for tomorrow/today (it's 2333 Wednesday night). Hope all the transport arrives OK and all goes well for you.

Just cranking up the good vibes to start at midnight, everything's crossed for you (fingers, toes, eyes....)

I have read your postings on "Ridicuilluilluillous" (that's as near the spelling as I am going to get!) and kept in touch with other threads where you let us know what is going on, but all the other researchers seem to have so much practical advice to offer you, and are a real help, and all I can say is that I am thinking of you, so I keep quietly in the background, but I am there, and I do care.

If I could come north, and sit with you for your solitary 8/9 hours a day then I would, but I don't think that is possible.

Take care, Tefkat, I AM thinking of you Universal Granny

Thank you Uggie.

I know you are and do.

(Psst, wanna share some while no-one's looking?)

sounds lovely but don't tell anyone...I am supposed to be losing some of this flab!

I've just come back in to work tonight and picked up your threads posted 6 to 8 hours ago. "Some of us are frightened we won't make it past Wednesday" - you must be so afraid, Tefkat, especially the nearer it gets.

Pedboy says on another thread that you were "hitting all his buttons", well you're hitting a few of mine too, but more identifying with your fright than listening to Floyd. I have had several operations over the years, and you never come to terms with it, and I feel it for you right here and right now.

My and go to you now, and if there is anything I can say or do that will help - let me know.

Take care Universal Granny

We're OK at the moment thank you Granny. Got it well buried .

Just scared of personality change...

ing with frustration though. Can't manage to load any music onto the laptop totake to hospital

Walkman?

UG

Hobblewoman!

Wasn't that an Enid Blyton character?