h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello Flame,

I have just read the continuation of your story. It is developing nicely, and is keeping me on the edge of my seat; for it has some way to go yet I suspect!
It has your usual high quality of story-telling and clear writing. These qualities will never change as long as you continue to write steadily, it only falls off if you cease to write for weeks or months at a time; at least in most cases.
So, when are you looking to bring this story to a (surprising) conclusion?
Are you unsure, or do you have your plot thoroughly sorted?

One small point to consider is that your second dream sequence repeats 'river' just a tiny bit too often. May I suggest you take a look at this again? It should be an easy matter, and a satisfying one, for you to re-work this passage.

But I really enjoyed- am enjoying- this story!
Speak to you soon.

Ron

Good afternoon Ron,

Thanks so much for reading the next part to my tale. I'll certainly have a look at the dream sequence again. I was probably carried away in the current myself when I was writing it. I really do appreciate you pointing it out. Hopefully your guidance will help me to become a better writer. What more could a girl ask for?

I already have the plot decided, it's just a case of writing it up. Hmmm, easier said that done, but then I know where I'm going with it....

Flame

I know how I want your story to end, Flame!

I have my own ideas on the denouement.

But you won't get to know whether you went in my direction until you've completed your work!

Not that my conclusion would be any more 'valid' than your own. That is most unlikely. Chances are that yours will be more satisfying than
mine!

Ron.

Hi,

Whew! Isn't it zesty today?

I wonder where this story would take you? After reading all the wonderful and imaginative endings to 'The end of story' competition I entered last year, I expect our endings would be quite different.

Am I going down a similar path as you would with this? Hmmm, only time will tell.....

Now, that's an expression I've never come across before, would you believe: 'zesty'. At least, not in connection with the weather, if that's what you are saying. Over in this neck o' the woods it is quite dull, overcast and has been thundering with steady rain this afternoon. This morning it was far too warm, and bright sunshine; changing at about 2.30.

Hope my remarks aren't too 'zesty' for you though Flame. It implies a sharp 'tangy' response; almost as if you think I've rebuked you in some way or other (he! he!). You know I'm not like that!

Unless it's you, feeling 'on top of the world' at the moment, with a zest for life and all it is bringing; if you are then I envy you, and wish I could feel the same.

Ron

Sorry, I didn't answer your question.

No is the short answer. I thought the thing would 'come to a head' long before the child became a toddler; that threw me a little.

But I didn't expect the mother dominated husband to start chucking (acid?) around as if there were no tomorrows.
Nor did I see him labelling her a whore! I thought that would have been the least of his cours(es) of action. To me, she is the victim, and never came over in any respect as a 'lose' woman of the village; and so is he a victim to some extent... of his poisonous mother's tongue! He struck me as a wimp of the first water!
Do you find this analysis interesting, or does it throw you off course; I hope it's not the latter.

Ron

Whew that made me zesty! Zesty is a word I picked up while living in Greece - and it does of course refer to the hot weather. It’s one that I heard a lot - and luckily is easy to remember. Just as well, I found the Greek language a very difficult one to master.

Yep, he is a wimp! And this story is going doing that path, which is probably why I'm finding it very difficult to write up. I was talking to one of my friends about it, and she reckons it could be the conflict in me - and not my characters - stuff I hold back - almost like I'm afraid of describing any kind of horror to my readers. Hmmm, she might have something in that.

At one point I had Hajir doing the dirty deed, but although women have been known to do this, it's mainly a male thing. Sometimes it even involves the whole family and I wondered if I should change it and have them both standing over the bed.....his mother has certainly egged him on. I certainly think if he didn’t feel respected he would indeed call her a whore.

I probably shouldn't have posted it until I was sure that was what I really wanted, but the ending will stay the same.

I watched something on the box last night – it was about men taken second and third wives in Turkey. I was horrified to hear one women had had her throat cut just by being seen talking to a man from another village. Yikes! I’d have been butchered years ago!

whoops - I meant to say men 'who have' taken second, third or fourth wives.

You'd think one would be more than enough! Talk about glutton for punishment!

Good evening!

Just a quick post to say hello. How do you keep up with all the enteries you have to read - and the researchers you need to contact? Especially with ones like me pestering you to read their work.

Nothing new to read from me...... a break for you!

Short answer is Flame, I don't!

I am still trying to find the best, or most efficient way of finding any new AWW Entries. I also still like to read a selection of Peer Review Entries, but I hardly ever comment on the latter. I suppose I should do my share of reviewing these also, but time doesn't really allow!


Ron