h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You're just a clever plot of bubster's aren't you...AREN'T YOU??

Admit it.

No, I'm just a figment of my own imagination.

How do you know though? What if that's just part of bubster's clever plot?

He's sneaky like that.

Hmm. Good point. I could very well be imagining that I'm simply a figment of my own imagination when, in reality, I'm a figment of a figment of a figment of bubster's imagination. Damn this is tricky, especially as either bubster or Spartus is a figment of the other's imagination as well. It seems increasingly likely that you're right and I don't exist at all. All I need to do is convince the IRS of that and I'm laughing.

I'll write you a doctor's not!!

*sits down and writes in illegibly*

"Dear IRS, please excuse Jonny from paying his taxes as it has been determined through extensive testing that he is in fact merely a figment of a figment of a figment of bubster's imagination. In fact, it has been determined that we are all figments of bubster's imagination and exist only as clever plot devices to further his own warped existance, therefore please send all complaints or comments to 'Mr. bubster, Austraila, Earth'. Thank you."


How's that?

By golly it might just work. Either that or they'll start taxing us double on the basis that we're probably all at least two people. And they'd do us for some sort of fraud for having multiple SSNs...

Damn them!!

*waves her fist in the air innefectually*

I was thinking that if we all pay them together then we all make top dollar and we'll get all those rich-people tax breaks I keep hearing so much about. eh!? eh!? whatddya think?

We'll just use bubster's number. I think we can convince the government that they were erronious in issuing imaginative figments SS numbers.

Hey hey, whoa, hey, don't post that letter yet. Shouldn't it read, "a figment of a figment of a figment of bubster's imagination's imagination's imagination"?

*points viciously and hollars enthusiastically*

PEDANT!!

Hmph. Like the government ever knew ANYTHING...

Well if you get it wrong they will write you off as another stupid American. If you get it right, it will make them suspicious, and perhaps the FBI will begin to follow you, suspiciously. Which is the first step to getting you-know-what.

Worked for Lennon.

Ahhh...

You are cleverer then your years, glasshoppah. *rewrites* Any other things I should stick in there?

Some subtle free-enterprise-bashing would be nice. Maybe change "taxes" to "instruments of the bastard capitalist society as a whole to keep down free-thinking individuals." They'll like that.

I dunno about this getting you out of paying taxes, Krissy, but it may well allow you to claim political asylum in Britain.