h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*scrathces "b"*

Ah, that's better.

*goes off to find someone else with a letter on their forehead*

*sigh* Wouldn't that be fantastic? If we all had a sticker and the person out there with the matching sticker was your soul mate? All you would have to do is look for the matching sticker.

*Sticks a big dragon sticker on Krissy, runs off to find Andy*

*laughing and looking at the sticker in the mirror* You better be careful there, Ant, I predict that you'll get stuck before too long.

Stuck, how so?

*thwacks a bunny sticker next to the flag sticker*

There. Now you know what you're looking for. Some cute girl with a bunny sticker. I'll help.

*begins looking under things*

*suspious*

Exactly what are you looking under?

*begins whistling nonchalantly*

Oh, you know...things.

*continues to look*

Not to interrupt your busy looking under stuff time, but I just wanted to point out that I think your sticker idea is an excellent one, Krissy, and I hope it's within your power as Queen of the Universe to implement it...would certainly save me a considerable amount of time!

Ahhh yes!

*pulling out a notepad*

*scribbling furiously*

*getting right on that*

Right, here's a question for you then. How will you keep any one of thousands of girls from popping down to a sticker-shop and finding herself a package of, for example, the supplementary bunny stickers?

The pairs will be unique. Okay, that was an easy one.

But how will you prevent counterfeiting? Hmmm? I mean anybody who wants to pose as beetle's soulmate can make herself a B sticker and wear it on her head. I know, cause I once made an H, and it wasn't the least bit difficult.

So? Hmmmm?

And furthermore, will it mean an end to communes and the like? Because the, erm... communists... won't be especially pleased with that.

Then again, what are the Communists ever pleased with?

*scribbling like mad*

Um...ok...then with that..... Unh hunh. Then you carry the.... yep.....Um so yeah I'm gonna hafta work on this one. I'll get back to you ASAP.

*wanders off muttering to herself*

*calls back* Do you SEE why I need two people for this job???

Mmm, yes I do.

It's true, you know. Communists really do ruin everything...

Spiteful bastards.

If tree were here, she'd show 'em who's boss. I'll bet nobody can handle a bunch of meddling rogue Communists better than tree. I'll bet.

*sob* Go right ahead...point out my inadaquacies...I don't mind... *sob*

*glares* What do you care? You're perfect.

Just don't let it get out that you're not the world's best Communist-teller-offer, or you're finished.

WAIT!

No you're NOT!
You're exactly the opposite of finished!
Quick, everybody! Put it round Krissy's not the best Communist-teller-offer, or she's finished!!

What do you have against communes?

*packs bag to move to T.O.*

Not "communes"... COMUNISTS! Those people that commute everywhere! or are those commuterists?

No, those are suburbanites.

*Walks into room with a lop-sided, blurry picture of David Cassidy on her forehead*

B, didn't I warn you about getting obsessed with stalactites? Geesh!