h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How did you get in here?

Is there no security in this place?
Can't I have any peace?

I'd better go and lock the dungeon.

Arthur, no need to be so rude.
Nice to see you Calamity.

You might find this place interesting.
http://www.h2g2.com/A416819

Now, now wot's all this then. My brothers and sisters at the museum 'ave requested that I speak to you about giving out our address to visitors at all times of the night.

Under The Health and Safety at Museums Act (1864) we only 'ave ter exhibit ourselves for 16 hours a day unless mating, dead, or giving birth. I 'ereby gives you notice that if you encourage any more visitors demanding we pose at odd hours of the night, then we will picket your dungeon.

It's nice ter see you've already supplied a brazier for us tho, thanks.

That's my brazier.

All property is theft. We hereby reclaim this brazier and give it to the people of this nation.

This is now the people's brazier. Well OK the people's and museum exhibits' brazier. Yes, well I suppose that does mean a part of it is yours as well. Here, have a hot coal.

How did I just KNOW that you'ld enjoy that?

It's not supposed to be in the museum, it's supposed to be in the dungeon.

It ain't in the museum brother Arthur, 'tis at this 'ere dungeon wot we are picketin'. We can't have Brother Polar bear and Sister Penguin gettin' cold while they're on picket duty now, can we?