This is the Message Centre for Blues Shark - For people who like this sort of thing, then this is just the sort of thing they'll like
Afternoon
FoxyBabe Started conversation Jun 25, 2003
How are you today?
I think I posted too much yesterday, it's starting to show how naive I am about a certain subject. 
Learning is half the fun though. 
I'm finding a lot of contradictory opinions on different web sites, but then with a 'hobby' this diverse I suppose that's to be expected.
Foxy
Afternoon
Blues Shark - For people who like this sort of thing, then this is just the sort of thing they'll like Posted Jun 25, 2003
Hello
Goodbye
Was it something I said? 
Depends what the differing opinions are, I guess. I'm no expert but I have picked a few things up here and there. My aversion to using handcuffs on ankles may be an entirely personal thing. I know *I* don't like it. I always feel as though i could injure myself if I'm not careful, and one doesn't always want to be careful, does one?
Afternoon
FoxyBabe Posted Jun 25, 2003
You may be no expert, but I've only been really 'into this' for a few months. It's been hidden within me for about 30 years. (all that fun I've missed out on )
It wasn't until I met my present bf, that I felt I could admit this 'strangness' first to myself, then to him.
One of the things I read on the web last night was that brats are different to bottoms. That brats don't give up control, and there's no power exchange involved. I totally disagree with that. When I'm a bottom I like to be bratty, it adds an element of fun 
from my point of view.
Although, I do recognise that it's the actions of the bottom that sort of control the responses of the top, and the bottom can use the safeword, so the bottom does have more control than it may seem.
If your not keen to talk about this Blues Shark, please tell me.
Foxy
Afternoon
Blues Shark - For people who like this sort of thing, then this is just the sort of thing they'll like Posted Jun 25, 2003
Hmm, that's an interesting theory about the difference between 'bottoms' and 'brats', and not one I'd thought about before. I'd have to say, thinking about it, that I'm inclined to agree with it, to a limited degree. I don't think being a brat rules out power exchange, I think it puts the exchange at a different level, and makes it a much more pro-active exchange on the part of the bottom.
Brats may work better, for example with less assertive Tops - by being a brat you force your top into taking actionby signalling that you are 'bad', you legitimise the punishment that follows. More assertive tops maty be happier to take that first step themselves.
Bear in mind that I'm theorising off the top of my head here. I don't even know if it makes any sense.
I'm perfectly happy to talk about it, btw, as long as you understand that I'm not anb expert and that I'm gonna keep nagging you to come to Fetish Fair or similar.
Afternoon
FoxyBabe Posted Jun 25, 2003
Yeah, that made a lot of sense. Particually about brats working better with a less asertive Top.
My bf is a vanilla, he does what I ask him, because I ask him to, and he does it well! (though I think he secretly relishes it ) I 'class' what we do as erotic, though I can quite understand not many people would think there's anything erotic about having a bruised butt. I've not been bratty with him, *yet*!! I'm one for practical jokes and wind ups, which is probably where the bratty element comes from.
Oh, and Foxy Babe is a fraud, I'm not a switch. (you probably noticed how awful I was at the Dom stuff 
) When I read stories on the web, I only read M/F no interest in the others.
"I'm gonna keep nagging you to come to Fetish Fair or similar." And there was me thinking that nagging was a womans prerogative. 
As I've only recently admitted this to myself, It'll be sometime before I feel ready for anything like that.
Foxy
Afternoon
Blues Shark - For people who like this sort of thing, then this is just the sort of thing they'll like Posted Jun 25, 2003
I had kinda noticed that Foxy babe was a fraud.... But it is easier often to admit to being a female top than a male top or a female bottom as it often carries negative stigma for some people.
Hey, I'm not saying that you should do it tomorrow. I'm just saying that i think you might get stuff out of meeting and inter-acting with the people behind the web stuff.
Afternoon
FoxyBabe Posted Jun 25, 2003
Hmmmmm I would've thought that the easiest to admit to would be male Top and the least would be the male bottom. But then maybe that's just a female point of view.
Foxy
Afternoon
Blues Shark - For people who like this sort of thing, then this is just the sort of thing they'll like Posted Jun 25, 2003
I think so.
Male Tops always run the risk of being accused of 'enjoying beating up women'. Which isn't the case, as we both know, but you don't always get a chance to explain before you are branded a perpetrator of domestic violence...
Afternoon
FoxyBabe Posted Jun 25, 2003
Hmmmm I can see that might cause a problem or two if the crucial element of consent is unknown.
There is a huge difference between what is consented and domestic violence. I've been there, done that had the black eye, can about most (though not all) of the incidents now.
Reminded me of a question I read last week, which was 'If you covert a vanilla into a spankee are you then creating an abuser?' I'd imagine not, unless they are already inclined to be that way.
Foxy
Afternoon
Blues Shark - For people who like this sort of thing, then this is just the sort of thing they'll like Posted Jun 25, 2003
Oh, ther key word is always consent.
Like yourself, I took a long time to admit these things to myself, so I had no real idea of how to go about finding apartner. Mina, I think, was of a similar mind. It just so happens that we had known each other for ages and something clicked.
If that hadn't happened, i don't know where I'd be know who what I'd be doing. I don't think i could now go back into the 'vanilla' world and look for a new partner in the hope of 'converting' them - there is a world of time to be wasted in that pursuit, I think. Therefore the questions are less likely to be 'Will you..', and more likely to be 'What are your limits...'.
I'm a *lot* more comfortable with that.
Afternoon
FoxyBabe Posted Jun 25, 2003
Hmmmm there is a plus side to converting a vanilla. As I'm a 'novice' we're both doing things for the first time, with no big expectations, and therefore very few disappointments. We're learning together, improving as we go along. The 'input' isn't just from me, he's come up with a few good ideas of his own.
There is a lot of time involved yes, even more so because we only see each other for a week or so once every 2-3 months, we make the most of that short time.
I'd imagine it'd be harder to convert a vanilla to a bottom than a Top. Could be wrong though.
Foxy
Afternoon
Blues Shark - For people who like this sort of thing, then this is just the sort of thing they'll like Posted Jun 26, 2003
Don't get me wrong, if the right opportunity presented itself 'conversion' isn't completely off the cards.
I just think it unlikely I'm going to be looking in Vanilla places anymore.
Evening
FoxyBabe Posted Jun 26, 2003
Evening
I was half expecting posts on my space, telling me how sick I am, the amount of lurking that goes on here. I was pleased there wasn't, not that it'd bother me, I'm 'thick-skinned' enough to take it, and knew it was a calculated risk when I started this type of conversation thread.
I've only had one negative post about my user page. That was a few days ago, from a male who said no one has the right to dominate anyone, blah blah blah, and he got the impression that I was anti-man I replied, saying he'd taken my space more seriously than I did and it was meant as humour. But this guy seems to have had a sense of humour by-pass, he replied back, saying almost the same, with the last sentence being that my space " gives people the wrong impression of you" he doesn't know how right he was there.
Foxy
Evening
Blues Shark - For people who like this sort of thing, then this is just the sort of thing they'll like Posted Jun 26, 2003
Speaking as the dandy highwayman, that they're too scared to mention, to hell with them all.
We may not be perfect, hon, but at least we're trying to do something to make the world a happier place, if only for ourselves (and anothe r two happy people in the world is not to be sniffed at.).
Anti-man? Mis-representing? My , what's your kink, baby, and where do you keep it?
Evening
FoxyBabe Posted Jun 27, 2003
It may well have been different, if I'd had this conversation with someone else. But as your one of h2g2's 'veterans' and I get the impression you have a lot of respect here, I felt there was an amount of 'safeness' in having this conversation with you. Now, don't you go getting 'big headed'
If you don't mind me asking, are you 'just' a Top or a switch?
Foxy
Evening
Blues Shark - For people who like this sort of thing, then this is just the sort of thing they'll like Posted Jun 27, 2003
I have been known to switch, but to be honest I don't enjoy it all that much. At all really... Of course there isd a school of theory that says you shouldn't be allowed to top until you've bottomed, but I'm not sure about that...
Me, respect? I think you've mistaken me for several other people >laugh>. I'll agree on veteran, though. Don't know that that makes it safer. Probably means more lurkers, if anything.
Evening
FoxyBabe Posted Jun 27, 2003
Souldn't be allowed to Top until you've bottomed, hmmmm interesting theory, nah I can't see my bf agreeing to that, he won't use hs hand because it hurts his hand. Not that I'm complaining
Though if he wants to use wooden implements on me again, he can test it on himself first. I don't know if it's my inexperience, but I find wood inplements to intense, (I safeword *very* quickly) I just can't absorb them like I can leather.
Oh well, if they'll lurking here, maybe they're learning something.
Foxy
Evening
Blues Shark - For people who like this sort of thing, then this is just the sort of thing they'll like Posted Jun 27, 2003
Never used wood. Doesn't inspire me. It's bound to have less 'give' than leather, though, I'm guessing, so your body has to do all the absorption of the impact...
Hands are fine, but if it hurts your hand, then possibly a little less force?
Key: Complain about this post
Afternoon
- 1: FoxyBabe (Jun 25, 2003)
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