Journal Entries
summer's here 14.5.05
Posted May 14, 2005
It was summer in the garden today. Hot and sunny if a tad breezy. Mowed the lawn, strimmed the edges and fed and watered all the patio tubs and hanging pots. Nothing is growing as quickly as it should - I think this must be due to cold nights. I'm still taking the lupins I sowed in March in at night lest they freeze to death. Not expecting any flowers from them until next year any way.
Went into town to buy lock for the new security gates as they were painted whilst I was away. Very smart they look too. Took pity on 2 "million bells" and 1 serfina in the shop Kay always referred to as "Milkingstools". Didn't look as though they had been watered for a while so might not make it but will plant them out in a couple of days and give them the chance of life.
Mooched around in the afternoon deliberately ignoring the accumulated dust around the house. Mother coming to stay ( for 2 weeks God Help me! ) at beginning of June so thorough spick and spanning will be required before then. Started reading " The Food Taster" again. I spend too much time in ML and not enough time reading these days.
NOMS +3
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Latest reply: May 14, 2005
Back Home 13.5.2005
Posted May 13, 2005
Had a busy couple of days in London. Mostly business but did fit in some socialising with ex and current colleagues. Strange to think I have known some of these people for 30 years, although our paths probably only crossed once or twice a year, and a number will be retiring within the next 12 months so I'll probably never see them again.
London always makes me feel so dirty and I always end up with bruised shins and arms from the number of people who bump into me in the street or simply run into me with luggage on wheels. I suppose that if you actually live down there you develop a sort of sixth sense that enables you to dodge most of these collisions.
Nasty incident happened when someone jumped to their death from a building round the corner from the hotel in the middle of the day. We found out about this as the road was still cordoned off early in the evening. What torment a person must be going through to end their life in this way (at all) is beyond my comprehension. I'm not even sure whether it is a brave or a cowardly act. At my lowest I have not considered this option ending my life that is not jumping.
Had a very busy day yesterday as I was only home for a couple of hours before going up to Doncaster to watch the Premier League Darts. It was OK but spoiled by the fact that most people seemed more interested in trying to get onto Sky's coverage than watch the darts so there always seemed to be someone in my line of sight and I ended up watching most of the action on the giant TV screen. Two of the girls I was with had a monumental row ( I have no idea what about ) which made the journey home somewaht uncomfortable. Not the best evening of my life.
Early night tonight I think - although it's already 11.30 so it won't be that early.
NOMS : I have to admit that I did have a cigarette in the pub on Wednesday night but only the one and nothing since.Even so I have to start the count again so I'm NOMS +2 now. Mild slap on the wrist already self-administered.
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Latest reply: May 13, 2005
broken buses and progress 9.5.2005
Posted May 9, 2005
Went on what turned out to be a quite eventful shopping trip into the city today. The bus broke down going - well actually it wouldn't start and never left the terminus. Had to wait for next bus. 
When eventually arrived in City the rain was lashing down so I made a hasty retreat into a shopping centre. Bumped into Val who was on her lunch break. She sounded quite envious when I told her I don't work Monday's anymore. Good news is that her husband's chemo has worked and he is now on 6 monthly reviews. 
Did the shopping I'd gone for except now that I'm home I've remembered a couple of other things I really need. Might have to go shopping in lunch break tomorrow. 
I couldn't believe it when the bus broke down on the way home. The doors refused to close at one stop. Not too far from home so finished the journey on foot. 
I'm going down to London tommorrow until Thursday so need to pack a bag.I'm going to try not to take too much as I'll have to lug my bag around the tube. When I next write a journal NOMS will be +14 and I can stop counting in days and move onto weeks - that's progress.
NOMS + 11
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Latest reply: May 9, 2005
More and more rain 8.5.2005
Posted May 8, 2005
I had all sorts of plans for today. Ironing to Minibus ( usual plan), cut the grass and do some general tidying in the garden and then a little walk round to The Boat to reward myself with a drink. As it turned out rain has been pouring down almost all day so all I actually managed to cross of my "to do" list was the ironing.
Whilst I was deciding what to do instead of planned chores suddenly realised I had a half-finished jigsaw ( In the Garden : Jan Vermeer) in the " porta-puzzle" . It's been there since last year and never got finished because of all the time I spent hospital visiting. Wonder if I will ever finish it - it is only 1000 pieces so shouldn't take long but will probably have to wait until real garden jobs finished i.e. winter 
.
What I did do was spend some time reading and thinking about psalm 88. I'm sure it's not what dagesh intended but I ended up more convinced that God is a fiction than when I started. The psalm is the "story" of someone who can't understand why they have suffered so much illness. The moral seems to be : this is visited on you to test your faith - so get on with praying if you want to feel better. What sort of God would treat people in that way ? Not one I want to be associated with that's for sure. I really have no God now but I can live with that - as long as I live my life in a kind and thoughful ( christian ) way then I will have achieved the best I can.
Now I'm going to lurk around ML before bed.
NOMS + 10 - double figures now.
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Latest reply: May 8, 2005
proper pay at last 6.5.2005
Posted May 6, 2005
Why as the weather turned so cold all of a sudden? It is May now and I am getting fed up of having to wrap up warm for travel to work in the mornings. 
At work for 7.30 am today as I had to prepare for 9 am meeting. Meeting OK except that after finished received messsage that goal posts moved so time was wasted really. Finished work at 4 pm and went to by new steps. Now I can trim the top of the hedges tomorrow.
Applied to increase hours. As I'm already working lots of extra hours this will not affect me except to increase my pay by 15%.That should pay for the cruise 
Still haven't had the security gate painted. Bet he turns up tomorrow when I'm trying to have a lie in. The sooner it's finished the better though.
Very tempted to smoke today but didn't. Sucking some lovely liquorice aniseed sweets to fight off the pangs. 
NOMS + 8
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Latest reply: May 6, 2005
Polly Tunnel
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