h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Michelle enters room 014, to be used as Witty Moniker's room. Michelle especially liked Ms. Moniker's outfit this evening.

This room looks like a Victorian English bedroom. Everything is just a bit fancier than it could possibly need to be, occasionally to the point of being gaudy. On the bookshelf is a collection of plays by Oscar Wilde, the complete Sherlock Holmes, everything ever written by Agatha Christie, as well as Shakespear, and, seeming very out of place, a collection from Eugene Ionesco, the French Absurdist playwrite. "La Countatrice Chauvre", "La Lesçon", etc.

The writting desk is overfurnished, as is the room, with a sofa, and three chairs. The nightstand by the bed contains the obligatory Gideon's Bible, and, oddly, a vinyl copy of the Beatles Album commonly refered to as "The White Album". In short, just as things begin to make sense in this room, they utterly fail to. What on earth could be the significance of the painting of a Grand Piano above her bed, for instance? The room, conviniently, shares a W.C. with the only other female guest, Asteroid Lil, next door in room 012*

*Enters her room and looks around.*

Sheesh, kidnapping is not the only crime committed here. Looks like someone had a Laura Ashley attack in here.

What's this? It's been ages since I listened to this. *Picks up The Beatles White Album and reads the cover.*

*knocks on the door*

*opens door*

Hi, Lil. I'd invite you in, but it's against the rules at the moment.

*holds up White Album*

Look at this. I suppose it's a clue. But if the clue is a song, which one could it be? There are 30 songs here. I guess "Happiness is a Warm Gun" is too obvious, yes?

*Lil's eye is caught by the decor, over WM's shoulder, but she says nothing*

Against the rules? I didn't realise we had been commanded to our rooms, just recommended. Well, we're sharing the bathroom, so maybe I'll be allowed to see you there. You should see my room! It couldn't be more different.

*waves and heads down the hall to her own room*

Wait a sec, Lil.

I think the intention was to keep us from combing the rooms as a group. We were to explore our own rooms and return to the sitting room. Although there's enough furniture in here to seat all of us, I think!

I'm going t go back down, now.

*takes White Album, closes door behind her and proceeds down the hall, stopping at Lil's to take a peek at her room*

*She gets half way down the hall and stops abruptly. She turns on her heel and returns to her room.*

*She's drawn to the painting over the bed... it clicks. Piano - piano wire.*

I wonder if it's related to the album in any way.

*She sits down in the overstuffed chair, nearly slides right off the chintz, finally manages to stay in the chair.

*After some contemplation, WM visits the WC to reapply her lipstick, then returns to the sitting room*

*WM returns to her room, intent on making sense of the situation. She is hoping to there is some hint within the ~absurdities~ of this room, as odd as that may sound.

She's heard the other guests mention the word 'fish' underlined in red in their bibles. Realizing she has yet to check her own copy, she reaches into the drawer, pulls out the book, opens it and finds...

Then she reviews the titles of the books on the shelves.*

Hmmm... Ionesco. I wonder if these are in the original French, or English translations. She looks at "La Contatrice Chauvre", "The Bald Soprano". Decides to try "The Lesson" first and reaches for "La Lesçon"...

*The Bible contained all the usual fish underlines. Upon moving the Ionesco, Witty's bookcase slides back into the wall, revealing a secret room.*

*She looks into the room, where she sees...*

*To her left is a television screen, with no visible way of turning it on. To her right is a door that has no handle, and is locked*

Hmmm, very similar, possibly identical to Peet's secret room. I think I'll see what the others are up to in the sitting room.

*Leaves her room.*

~Enters from the secret passage and places two objects on Witty's desk: A piano wire and a note~



Ms. Moniker,
I hate to bring this to your attention, however, the adorable little Mew is not as adorable as he seems. He killed Garius Lupus. It appears as though he is not on the side of Justice as we thought, but rather on the side of evil.

I'm giving you the chance to right that wrong. Take this wire, hide it in your sleeve. And whenever you have a chance alone with Mew (perhaps you should allow him to go to his room first), take him by surprise and strangle him with it.

Signed,
A friend

~Red then exits the room, as stealthily as he entered~

*WM enters her room and proceeds to the WC to freshen up. Upon returning to her bedchamber, she notices a note on the desk. She picks it up and reads it.*

Oh, dear. I knew this was inevitable, but strangulation! That's a bit too 'hands on' for me, even on an android. And of all the researchers gathered here, Mew is the one I know the least about.

*Sits down on the edge of the bed and thinks for a while.*

I wonder if our host would mind if I put a little creative twist on this. *Places piano wire in her sleeve and heads for the kitchen.*

*The host does not mind creativity -- he enjoys it.*

*Do I need to create a Kitchen for you?*

*Not necessary... I'll be able to handle it through the Sitting Room. *