h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Now now, please, I understand that there may be some hostility among these guests. However, this event is meant to put aside those differences, at least til after dinner. Look, even the Masque seems to be willing to share his curry with Uncle Heavy. That must point something out to you all.

*Smooths down the hair at the back of his neck that had raised itself, takes a deep breath and smiles unconvincingly.*

I don't like it, but I'm willing to set aside our differences here. For now.

*licks lips*

Uh, is that curry for everyone?

Yes it is, my friend. Have some. ~Red offers BBW some curry~

*Hesitates, but then decides that if Red is unaffected by it, then it should be okay. Takes a fork and rapidly stuffs 3 forkfulls in his mouth. Realizing, too late, that maybe he should show more restraint in company, he unsucessfully tries to discretely chew the enormous mouthfull with his mouth closed. After finally swallowing, he takes out his handkerchief and wipes his mouth. He looks around with some embarassment.*

Oh, excuse me.

GL (amused): You become more of an animal every time I see you.

*The Butler rings the bell, and a French Maid enters. He becons to her*

Butler: Michelle, would you be so kind as to begin making up our guests rooms? I have just recieved word from the Master that we are to have two more guests. Two ladies. So if you would be so kind, do prepare their rooms accordingly.

Michelle: Oui, Monsieur Meuller.

Butler: Merci, Michelle.

Michelle: Avec plaisir, Monsieur.

*Michelle the Maid leaves*

Oh, I'm sorry I haven't indroduced myself more completely to the company. My name is Stavro Meuller, but you may all call me Stavro. If you need anything, just call, or ring the bell.

*He also exits*

*Sniffs the curry.*

Ah! The ninety-seven vintage. A fine year for the vindaloo. Got any chips? (french fries but better, should you be ignorant).

Look here, Lord Heavy, I am allowing Lord Blackstone's curry because we have a while til all of the guests arrive. However, I am sure the chef would be insulted if you all came to his large dinner half full. Chips are most assuredly out of the question.

Good evening gentlemen. How do you fare? Good I trust

*The Butler enters from another room, carrying a platter of shrimp*

Excuse me, gentlemen, most of the guests have arrived. In fact, we are only missing four out of the twelve of you. Afgncaap5, the Krymla Leader, Witty Moniker, and Asteroid Lil have not yet RSVPed or joined us. Even so, hors d'oeuvres will be served while we wait for the rest of the guests to arrive.

These shrimp in tartar sauce should go well with your chicken vindaloo. If any of you have any dietary restrictions, please feel free to tell me at this juncture, so that I may relate this to the chef.

I don't eat anything containing visible tomatoes... It's all right in sauces, so long as there's no visible skin or seeds...

Stavro: I'll make a note of that. Thank you, Master Peet. I'm sure the chef will appreciate it.

*NYC enters and finds himself a sofa*

hello all. can somebody tell me why all our guests so far are male, and with an affiliation of either STUMPED of CHOPPERS?

I've heard of STUMPED, although I'm not affiliated... Who are "CHOPPERS"?

}The Good Guys, and opposite of STUMPED.{

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you part of the H2G2 Police & Fire force, Peet? You might have dealt with STUMPED's deeds, then. Do I sense a pattern here?

*NYC reaches for a shrimp, and begins to consider learning some martial arts, and not relying on his implements of destruction too much*

Stavro: Two female guests have been invited. The invitations were sent out late, due to an oversight on the part of my employer. *checks guest list*

Asteroid Lil and Witty Moniker are their names. I am unaware of any affiliation that either has with STUMPED, CHOPPERS, the H2G2 police, or any other organisation of that sort.

Lil and Witty? Well, that throws off all my assumptions. I thought we'd been invited here to kill eachother off in a civilized manner. Oh well.

~Tries the shrimp~

This is wonderfull

By the way, if you could, tell your chef that I like red meat and red wine.

NYC, I joined up to fight punctuation crime which, sadly, doesn't appear to be the sole responsibility of STUMPED members. I was sent to investigate an incident at the do(ugh)nut shop, and in true policeman style I never got around to leaving...

[Looks down at his torn jeans, tee-shirt and sneakers]

I'm starting to feel a little underdressed here. My invitation didn't mention that this was a "formal" occasion. If I'd realised, I'd have worn socks.

Peet, dear fellow. CHOPPERS is the H2G2 guild of heros, founded by our (sadly departed) leader Vestboy. I am the deputy, but I believe that I am the only member invited except Affy, unless mew is a member on the sly.

This shrimp is wonderful.