h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So are the pirates being killed off by the heat? Or is the warming being caused by the lack of pirates?

Theory 1: It's hot under them eyepatches! With the increased global temperature, more and more pirates are being overcome by the heat and just can stand the job anymore. They're handing in their cutlasses and becoming chartered accountants.

Theory 2: With the reduction of piracy in the Caribbean, there are less treasure chests being thrown overboard, so there is less to impede the flow of the Gulf Stream, which as we all know transfers more heat from the tropics to the poles than any other mechanism known to man. This melts ice at the north pole which decreases the Earth's albedo, causing it to reflect less heat into space and absorb more, thereby causing global warming.

erm But which is the right one?

In the old days the pirates had to outnumber the sailors in order to overwhelm them. Nowadays, they just sail under the radar during the dogwatch.
Armed with automatic guns they kill the officers on duty, kill the rest while asleep and take anything of value including the ship.

It's daily business even in the carib.

@~~

i live in a parallellosphere
essentially the exact same as that one you're in,,, but with slightly more pirates..less work.. and more beer

no problems with warming