h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hallooo Siayte,
Just thought I'd drop in and welcome you to H2G2. I'm Shadow, one of the Assistant Community Editor's here. We’re the volunteer welcoming committee, among other things. If you have any questions or need help with anything, please don't hesitate to ask. You can do so by either clicking on REPLY below or by clicking on my name above and leaving a message at my page http://www.h2g2.com/U133044. If you're looking for a place to get started, the following is always a good spot http://www.h2g2.com/A5752. There is also a handy quick reference guide at http://www.h2g2.com/A344756.

Now, if it’s writing a Guide entry or two you’re interested in, say no more! Here are two links that are SURE to come in handy. The list of Guide entries that haven’t been written yet, but should be: http://h2g2.com/A234677 AND The list of Guide Entries that need to be rewritten: http://www.h2g2.com/A237241.

Whatever you decide to do, have fun wandering the vast, twisted and myriad halls of this place. There's a LOT to do, see and comment on here and everyone's opinion is welcome. So don't be afraid to jump right in and offer your view on anything! Remember, if you need help or have questions about anything, don’t hesitate to ask, that’s what I and the other ACE’s are here for.
Welcome again,
~S~

Just have to ask. Which state is the mitten state? I thought I'd pop round and see how everything was going. Finding your way around okay? Need help with anything? Bored? Confused? Need a ? Need a ? Need a rabid were-chicken? Got one locked in the cellar and haven't figured out what to do with it yet. Stop by my page if you're bored.
~S~

You have a real live were-chicken??? Cool!!!! If you dont want it I'd love to have it. I have an old recipe for were-chicken that I would love to try out. If your interested I can send it along but the best way to describe it's taste is to say........well you know or maybe I should just have you for dinner. Let me know if you are interested.

Ah therein lies the age-old rub, for the moment you try to eat a were-chicken, you end up were-chicken feed...NOT a pretty sight.

All of the various were-animals are dangerous in the extreme. I recall that Australian Croc-hunter fellow once attempted to take on a were-wombat and nearly lost his cameraman and did in fact lose a large, expensive camera in the process. The were-wombat may be slow, but they're as silent and deadly as a were-creature comes.

To the best of my knowledge, the were-wombat is ONLY outmatched by a were-sloth, but it ABSOLUTELY MUST BE the three-toed variety!!! The two-toed were-sloth just doesn't get the job done. The only problem with getting a three-toed were-sloth to defeat a were-wombat is, once it's done that you have to find something to defeat the three-toed were-sloth! The best method I know of is to lure it deep into a silver mine, using a virgin from South Carolina as bait is best (if you can find one), then drop several 20 megaton nuclear weapons on it from an orbital space weapons platform that's been disguised as an old MTV satellite relay.

What was I saying...oh yes, anyway, thank you, but no thank you, I prefer not to become anyone's dinner myself.
~§~

All the more for me. Its just a matter of approach with these were-beasts. They are unique animals and must be approached that way.... (unique up on them)of course that isn't for everyone I understand. So on to something completely different.

Ever been to Unique, New York? Say Unique New York ten times fast if you can. I can't.
~§~

*laughing* I could only do it once and that was with practice. Shadow since you are a guide would you be able to tell me the speed of dark?

Dark travels at a speed of negative 299,792,458 meters per second. The only thing faster is gossip, which of course is instantaneous.
~§~

Not meaning to be rude, but I was wondering how one serves a were-chicken? Fried? Sauteed? Stir-fry? Just curious.

G7

I prefer to serve it headless, stuffed with garlic, skewed on a silver stake & burned until the skin is crispy. All of this done on the night of the new moon. Garnish with the feet(if chilled properly they will still be hoping about)on a nice bed of Poison Ivy. Yum Yum

P.S. Don't let Martha find out she has been asking for the recipe for years.

One serves a were-chicken by laying out its clothes in the morning, making sure its morning coffee and feed are fresh and that the morning's paper is handy... Mostly its menial stuff.
~§~

OR you can (assuming you're of sufficient size and constitution) grasp them by the neck, toss them into the air and send them flying across the net with your tennis racket, trying to make your opponent miss thereby scoring an Ace.
~§~

Luverly tennis pun there, Shadow!

I personally was thinking more in terms of beach volleyball myself...

G7