h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Boo!!

What can I do for you, Madam ?

Was saying hello, of course.

And a shoebox full of five's wouldn't hurt, either.

How goes over there??

I find myself in adequate health to discharge my current tasks.

You sound robot-ish, though, if you don't mind my saying.

Why the change??

Though I suspect I know what it is, and if it is the is suspected, then I apologize profusely.

If I'm wrong, however, then I'm just wittering on like a rather large twit.

simply keeping a respectful distance ibn order not to agraveate the situation.

I WAS joking about, you know.

Sometimes my smartass nature doesn't translate well into text.

But if you wish for me to bugger off instead, I shall.

Just wanted to let you know that I WAS kidding around.

And I DO apologize for not making that obvious when I asked for some cake.

(Which by the by, I have yet to see!! )

Now we're talking!!

One problem though, where the hell did I put me bloody fork?!?!

any sign of the fork, Yet ?

Not yet.

I can say with great assurance, though, that it isn't in my closet, nor is it in the shoe catalog I was browsing through.

Gah!!

Is it ok to eat it with a spoon, do you reckon?? Or would that be a blatant breach of cutlery etiquette??

eat it how you wish. buck tradition.

Shoe catalogue ?

Yep--shoe catalog. Once I found a shop that sold shoes big enough for my feet I turned into Imelda Marcos (though in fairness I don't actually BUY them owing to not being obscenely rich).

(I'm rather amazonian, you see)

Define Amazonian ?

Shoes that big ? What do you wear, Imelda ?

Well I wear shoes, of course

Here I wear a womans 13, which in the UK would be an 11-ish, mens or womens shoes, apparently.

But it's ok as I'm tall-ish and if my feet were any smaller I'd be falling over willy-nilly.

How tall are you ? dare one ask

5'11.

And I look mean!!

Must run off now, though, the phone nazis will be whinging any moment.

Catch you later!!

you come up to my shoulder