h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Amy P]

I saw a purple onesie yesterday and thought with my red handbag I would like a skinny Tinky Winky

And what a faff going to loo, which is an ice box, exposing the bare minimum is quite enough, delayering, no thanks.

I hope Him indoors and yourself had a better night.

and

22nd November

Cold but sunny today.

A fairly leisurely Friday for once, but a bit compressed because Him Indoors slept late again after another bad night (pain, not poor sleep hygiene). Library done, grocery shopping done, excessively harsh shower gel blended with extra oil, and the modesty panel cut out of a recently bought corset.

Right, that does it. Instead of going to a gig in North London, or catching up with some people off the net in one of the pubs just about near here, I'm using this evening to partly catch up with myself. I could take the sewing or some coursework with me, but I know that even if I did I wouldn't get much (if any of it) done, even on the journey there and back.

Seeing as the Dr Who radio play finishes in the small hours, I'm going to sit down and finish the peplum tonight, or possibly tomorrow morning. This bit of sewing's boring and needs something interesting in the background. Its also something I do to avoid thinking.

And there's quite a bit of thinking which I'd prefer not to do right now. Stay warm out there.

[Amy P]

23rd November

I was so tired that sitting up past midnight to sew just wasn't possible last night.

I'm now about four inches away from finishing the binding along the peplum, and taking a break from it as my shoulder is protesting.

Also got two loads of washing done, a bit of overlooked grocery shopping, read a bit more of the book I'm part of the way through, and watched Dr Who.

And that's Saturday gone.

Still, better that than an interesting but deeply unpleasant day.

[Amy P]

24th November
I've finished the binding, yippee!

Don't get too excited, there's still plenty to do. The concealed zip is tacked in place and I'm part of the way through stab stitching it in place (to replace an ugly continuous line of visible stitches either side of the zip).

I've tried the dress on again and the peplum's the right length. The problem is that the dress is strapless, unlined, unstructured, and not quite tight enough to stay up without willpower, tape, or .

As I suspected, it's going to need boning. Even the back zip needs light stiffening either side of it. Okay, so that's between 6 and 8 boning channels which need to be added to start with, then maybe a few more placed between the first lot.

If you're thinking that this sounds like a lot of hardware for one dress, you're right. But more boning spreads the pressure and tends to pinch less and dig in far less than if you've only got 2 or 4 bones in the bodice. It's not going to end up rigid, most of the boning will be spiral wires (not flat bits of steel), but it will make the dress less inclined to creep or slip except when I want it to.

Him Indoors has a hospital appointment tomorrow (nothing dire, just tedious) - there'll be plenty of sewing time while I'm waiting around.

It's starting to sound like it would've been less work to make this dress from scratch

It would, Amy, oh it would. Except that the dress was from a clothes swap, and I haven't got enough space here to lay out a pattern and cut it.

Some people fantasise about all sorts of weird or wonderful things being done to them, I fantasise about having enough floor space.

That makes sense, then.

25th November

If you want something uplifting, cheerful or brave, look away now. I lack that generosity of spirit.

This is my day to wallow a bit. My day to stare right into the face of this life, which I shouldn't have yet. It's too early, 20 years or more too early. And I realise that life isn't fair but this is even less fair. Let this pass from me but first, are there any takers? Didn't think so...

FML sorry, the guidelines of this site don't allow me to state what that means, google it if you must.

My husband was supposed to have his third appointment at a memory clinic today. It's wonderful what they can do for people with Alzheimer's these days, but they don't think he's got that, or any of the more common memory damaging diseases. No suitable medication, no clear answers about what's causing the trouble, but it's bad and unlikely to get better. And it's at least 20 years too early.

He cancelled, because of a migraine. His medication taken for each attack works but still leaves him without the censor in place and unable to think in anything but wiggly lines. No point testing his memory and cognitive processing or teaching him how to use it better today. Rescheduling means no appointment until the new year.

We have no good years to look back on - for all but two of the several years that we've been together he's been long term sick with moderate to severe M.E as well as a few other things. No children to draw comfort from. No friends rallying round, he's not dying. Or at least he is, but no more quickly than most people of his age.

But I'm losing him. I'm losing my partner, my other half, my support, my reality check, my friend, my confidant, my lover. Gradually, whether I want it or not, I'm turning into his parent and nurse. This wasn't part of the deal.

Please don't quote "in sickness and in health" at me - I've been doing this for longer than a lot of unpaid carers do and there's no end in sight. Don't tell me about support groups and respite. He's both too old and too young for residential respite and there's nowhere appropriate for somebody else to sleep here.

I don't expect answers or fixes, there are none. I'm fed up with being strong, responsible, brave and coping. Just for once, my inner spoilt brat gets the chance to say "don't want to".

And tomorrow I'll get up and get on with it again. Because I don't see a queue of even one person coming to replace me.

*holds out a tentative hand*

can only write, here with you,

and to remind you are irreplaceable

not only for the role you play

no 'There there' with my perculiar

?

Peanut

?

?

26th November

Well, that was dignified, not. I more or less kept it together for most of the day, got to my Polish class (the final one of this term) and then broke down there.

BTW the rescheduled memory clinic will be in January.

Meal out at Mamushka (Elephant & Castle) afterwards. Not swish, but good Polish food and drink in a decent enough place. Very reasonably priced, for London, and long may that continue. I might (no, probably will) get a migraine tomorrow from the food, but it was totally worth it.

And so to bed, with a dose of chamomillia matricara, leaving the pink migraleve where they'll be easy to find if needed in the morning.

[Amy P]

You probably think you hardly know me, but you deserve all the you can get.

"You probably think you hardly know me"
Thank you. In a way, that makes it easier. Although you exist as a real human being who bleeds, breathes etc, I don't have to worry quite so much about whether what I say hurts you. IYSWIM

and pick me ups,

perculiar and virtual friends

although I do seem to be taking up floor space and inviting myself round for elevensies,

oof, Herenna,

bet you undignified looking a hell lot better than I do,

not sure how words play out online, that was, 'humour', hum

not to lighten the situation, ok over explaining

I'll just say I was poorly dressed in a car park, I know how it feels


How has today been?

oh, sorry bit out of the flow I was writing when you were posting Herenna