Journal Entries

On broken minds and strong hearts

Well, since last time I wrote (which has been a while), I have been diagnosed as being bipolar (aka manic-depressive disorder). I have been clinically depressed for years, and was finally plowing out of it when my mind when into overdrive and I bounded into the new territory of mania. Well, for some it may not be deemed mania, but it was an extreme for me. I am bipolar 2, so I have very low lows, and relatively short stages of hypomania when I am up but warped. Then I go back to normal before heading downward again. Now I'm seeing a new shrink and taking new meds. I've started the whole process anew. And I am excited and terrified at once.
Amidst all this, a former lover looked me up. We talked seriously about everything (via email, of course...sometimes it's much easier to open upwhen the other person isn't in front of you). He said that my bipolar thing drove him off, and that he didn't see any happiness, beauty or daring in my soul. I realized that those things are inside me, and that I must overcome this disease in order to let those things out. I know they are there...I've got to keep my heart strong while my mind heals.
Enough heavy stuff for today. Have a good one!

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Latest reply: Nov 22, 2000

On techno-dancing and Persian she-ness

Well, it appears that my kitten Max is not a he, but a she. Small, furry, Persian kittens are not easily gender-ized, I suppose...I have gotten into the habit of calling him he, and I rather prefer him to be a he, so he shall be a he despite his not-so-easily-apparent she-ness...
I am thinking about researching the art of techno-dancing in rural small-town-ish "city" USA -- I went techno-dancing this weekend, and most of the clubbers were non-dancers who watched the fewer dancers jump around...
Until next time, adios!

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Latest reply: Aug 28, 2000


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