h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

But not so bad - things are settling into place. We know a bit more now, but it's all ever so weird. TomCat phoned the mum (hereafter referred to as A) and found out a bit more. Apparently she'd told him about the pregnancy, and he'd, er, not been very nice. And ran away. But she kept quiet about this, and told everyone that she'd left him. Because she knew that the day would come when she had to contact him again. She doesn't regret anything. I think she's amazing. The weird thing is TomCat still doesn't remember. He was pretty messed up then and maybe his mind just blocked it all out for self-preservation. I don't know. He is trying not to blame himself too much, as he's got to see his shrink and will bring it up then. He realises he can't change the past but can try and forgive himself and make amends. It's weird for me, to think someone I love could do something like that, but I had a tough time with my parents and I've forgiven them a hell of a lot, so I know the value of acceptance and moving on.

We'll go down there as soon as I get out of plaster and can drive again - he can't drive, and the plan is for him to meet A and son as "a friend" and then if it's still OK (ie he doesn't freak out, we know nowt about kids) he will tell the truth to the boy. Meanwhile I will no doubt be sat at TomCat's parents worrying my head off!

A is being so sensible about it all, and so reasonable. I'm amazed. We also realise that showering presents isn't appropriate as she has 2 others. And her ex-husband is apparently only having contact with his kid, which I think is a bit iffy of him, but I'll keep that between you, me and the doorpost! We're waiting for her to send photos, but are a bit reassured about his upbringing - apparently he's a maths whiz despite dyslexia, does horseriding and karate, likes swimming, playing football and the outdoors. He's a sensitive wee soul and stubborn, which I think must come from his dad!

Anyway, had better stop this shirking. Will keep you updated. Cat x

Wow Cat,

wibbly must be an understatement.

I hadn't seen the earlier post. Huge respect to you; I do hope things go well for all of you. Can't offer any practical advice, just best wishes.

dvcx

Again, what a trauma this must be for you and I hope this proof of love is recognised. I do hope someone (you?) is putting your own welfare first, because self-sacrifice is not a cure.

Thanks Martine. Yes, TomCat is so incredibly grateful that I still want to be with him despite everything. I said the only instance I can imagine in which I'd have to consider breaking things up would be if he decided he wanted nothing to do with his son. He keeps saying I'm being great about it and how lucky he is, but to be honest I'm terribly shy about admitting that to myself.

Thanks again. Cat x

All good wishes to you Cat. I think we would agree that Tomcat is lucky to have you - and I send my hopes that things will resolve themselves in a happy way for all concerned.


Although I am not religious, I feel that there is a certain amount of sense in the biblical saying "Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again."

I am sure that your generosity of spirit, kind heartedness and lack of selfishness is what it takes to make for a good outcome.

Take care

Prue/Rom

PS Hope this didn't sound too creepy - just wanted to say your a goodun, Cat

Cat

What a situation! But it does sound clearer now than it did.

TomCat is indeed lucky to have you. I hope he can forgive himself.

Hugs and strength

Bex
x