h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Apparently waking up is a required discipline. Well someone had better wake me up then cos I sure don't know how it's done. Last time it was pure torture. Really unpleasant. And is it really worth it? I mean look at the state of the people who are awake. Look at the state of them. They won't like me any more awake than they do now. I don't know. I'm quite happy to be woken up gently with the right people to encourage me. Last night they tried and it didn't work. I have to admit I'm getting a bit sick of this. If it means I've got to spend my life alone, well I've made it half way, perhaps I'll make it all the way. So long as my writing gets out there. I wonder if they realise I'm absolutely cut to ribbons in my soul, with painful wounds. Come on then, wake me up.

Someone is suggesting I open my heart to her at her work email. That's a joke; anything sent to that work's email addy gets read by everyone. I am in desperate need of help, but no-one will lift a finger. I'm apparently not worthy of help. I lie on the side of the road, sliced with knives and bleeding to death, and they walk past on the other side of the road. I need help with giving up my stuff; but they walk by on the other side of the road. Caroline speaks like a worldling! She doesn't know the Bible! She doesn't know the thoughts of the Bible!

They'll employ any old mind-controlled wotsit as long as they worship that which is not God. But one who loves God so much that they treat him like Jesus, that is, hang him up to die and curse and mock and stand afar off, him they'll stand and watch him die.

She's pouring forth worldly nonsense from her mouth. I am in desperate need of help; I am in a desperate state. And they just walk on by on the other side.

They are a cult. They only associate with those who worship the same way as they do. They will accept anyone - Caroline's mind controlled and -- no, it's just breaks my heart even to think about it.

They point the finger, they accuse, they hide behind their stronghold, they give reason and excuse for walking past on the other side. I'm in trouble and they don't give a flying duck. Yet all the time they piffle on about Christ and his people. I heard Philips - I heard her - they don't want me there. Presumably because I come to teach the truth, not to pander to their thingy.

I can't phone her again - oh, she stays in Simon's Town. Funny, the Spirit took me there a couple of weeks ago! - Simon's Town is far too far for me to go.

She's only 24, for heaven's sake, and acts it too... she deliberately mispronounced 'apartheid' and frankly I can't be bothered with it any more. They're a bunch of weirdos and that's something coming from me. Shame, because I thought I could teach on there. Perhaps I should make a proper, formal approach to Zibonele, not through Mimi this time but properly to the CEO with a Word First letterhead and so on, including a copy of Words and of the Xhosa edition and perhaps even Vol 2, and an audio CD, if I can find the files. I've learnt that if you want anything done in this world, you have to do it yourself.

I'm getting terrible stick from the voices at the moment, all trying to upset me. But I'm not going to entrust myself to the hands of the psychiatrists because they'd only abuse me. And I'm not going to allow myself to be mind-controlled, not ever, even if means I never do anything again. Look at Caroline. A massive spirit of fear. That's what the mind controllers do to you. No thanks. The whole thing stinks and I'm not going to listen any more.

She's a disgrace. An absolute disgrace. She'd better not dare raise her voice to me again, on the ether.

Anyway I gave all my township tracts so far to Sean, who I hope enjoys and appreciates them, especially for their originality. Helga's Mike commented that I don't use jargon and that my revelations are expressed in fresh, new language. Well I've only been thinking about all this for over 25 years haven't I. I ought to have something to show for it. It's just a pity the whites are so unfaithful. The Irish girl persists in badgering me. Can't imagine why; she hardly knows me, is too proud to come out with me, and not ashamed to make a fool of me. Just like every other bugger I've had to do with in this sorry life. Hedoneitai pasan hemeran. This world is a terrible prison. What do I want with someone so mind-controlled they ... oh, they are all like that? I've killed so many dragons I've kind of lost interest now.

The problem is that I think the voice that I hear which identifies itself as C, is actually her demon, because it lies to me. Turns out she stays in Simon's Town, and not around the corner as the voice led me to believe. Phainomai monos wn en toutwi twi biwi. Dystenos eimi pany. Pantes boulontai logizesthai met' emou ou boulomenou. It's the Alan Paton thing. And David said in despair, "All men are liars". I assume he was being gneder-inclusive when he said that.

Somebody else, who shall remain nameless, has become almost inhumanly vicious and obnoxious elsewhere online. I always wondered when the power would go to her head, and it clearly has now. I think in Zeep's absence the noderators have basically freaked out. Zeep's used to be such a nice place. I don't know what the problem is, there's a few posters who appear to be intent on verbally punching each other up, and we get to suffer the most appalling noderation as a result. I think it's time to go underground... taking my cue from the ironical speech and writing of the Polish intellectuals of the Cold War. That's actually quite exciting, well, it gives me a reason to want to live anyway, the idea of writing messages with covert messages. Of course everyone else does this all the time, but as usual I have to reinvent the wheel for my own purposes.

We're having the most appalling trouble sending a simple SMS, Her demons, whom she worships, won't allow her.