h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Got lost on the way to church.

it's a lovely day.

Spent all night up chatting with Lynwen. May she come through swiftly as a kingfisher to salvation in Jesus. I love her so very much.

I'm surrounded by all my favourite women. Helga is here at the moment, dear Helga, I love her so much, and I missed her when she got offended at me; I never stopped emailing her, and I hope one day she will start emailing me back. God bless her golden heart. She is such a precious soul.

I think Lynwen's asleep at the moment. Helga says yes she is. God bless her. I read Helga my poem for Lynwen but she thought it was a bit racy in parts - well obviously a man's gotta fancy his beloved, he's gotta wanna sleep with her isn't it. But she liked it by the end. Said it was sweet again.

Helga's ever such a sweetheart but she's been waiting to have a predictable go at me for the state of my body of flesh and for the drugs. I'm telling her that a) my theology of the Christian body is sound, and if she wants to argue she can go to Prof Murphy of Notre Dame and ask her what she thinks of my theological acumen. The good Prof apparently thinks I'm the greatest theological mind in the world.

I'm also telling her that the message I sent to her this morning is the message the Spirit has given me for ALL the churches (who are likely to want to hear me) in Cape Town, and perhaps even in South Africa. You'll notice the Revelation guys, most of them, don't need this message. They understand grace.

When I get married and drop the drugs and settle down, my message isn't going to change; but she'll have no valid reason not to hear it. Her unwillingness to hear what the Spirit is saying to the churches through his ambassador from the North will have to wear different clothing. Crikey Moses you couldn't really ask for much better accreditation than mine. They're making up excuses not to hear God through me, because they don't like what he is saying, because it challenges the stronghold that is keeping them all in bondage. The first thing people do with an unwelcome message, is shoot the messenger.

If it wasn't drugs they'd probably accuse me of being gay.

Anyway so when I'm straight they won't have that excuse not to hear what God is telling them.

What I'm getting is very like what I get from my brother. Who worships devils. And it's Helga of all people! The Spirit says Yes Richard, I had to find a way of letting you and them know what you're up against.

They will receive anyone who comes to them in their own name - i.e. Baptist, Evangelical, etc etc, but someone with impeccable qualifications coming to them in no-one's name but God's - him they will accuse, reject, threaten, disrespect, you name it.

It's all in the Gospels. I am hearing the voice of the devil in Cape Town. Burning against God's prophet and his apostle.

Why are they SO unwilling to give up their stronghold? I know they idolise Cape Town, that might be it. I'm getting open hostility from all sides now. Come on Lynwen, I need you by my side darling.

Rescuing Lynwen and being mind-fecked by satan's little helpers was just the hors d'oeuvres. My real work is facing down the Cape Town stronghold which seems to be holding all CCFM in its thrall.

They won't accept my theology of the body. They won't accept - presumably - my theology of incarnation, either. They won't accept the Spirit's message for them. Instead, it's threats and shame and spiritual threats.

I am going to have to get heavy but not when there are people about.

Blessed are those who aren't scandalised by me.